Art's Raw Journey

January 31, 2005

Had another really tough day at work today. When I got home, I was really depressed. My wife thinks I'm clinically depressed and that I should seek help. I'm reluctant to do that for a number of reasons, one of the foremost being that I hate taking drugs (read: toxic substances). It's bad enough that I occasionally put cheese or other dairy products or crap cooked food into my body...

So, we made a deal. I have two weeks to improve my mood through diet and exercise (and prayer!!) or else I go to see a specialist.

Didn't eat dinner.. went to bed really early.. was asleep by 9 pm. Still woke up wiped out the next morning.

BUT... (I almost always write these journals the next morning for the previous day), I stepped on the scale this morning.. lost 2 pounds! I'm at 225 now.

My goal for Feb. 15: 212 lbs. Let's see what happens!

Intake:

Breakfast: chunks of pineapple and strawberries, and water, until noon

Noon: Ate a vegan cookie, which had sugar* in it.. I think this caused a rapid rise and crash in blood sugar and may have contributed to my depressed feelings. Also had part of a leftover oatmeal cookie in my desk, origins unknown (well, meaning.. I know where I got it from.. 7-11.. but it probably wasn't vegan).

2 pm: A vegan grilled veggie sandwich, followed by a low-fat blondie brownie bar (not vegan, it had egg whites in it.. I saw this at the health food store and couldn't resist.. I bought it knowing it had egg whites in it.. fortunately, it wasn't that good, so I won't buy it again)

Drank some water throughout the day. No dinner. Hence, a ravenous appetite in the morning.

Exercise: None

*Going to work on eventually giving up cane sugar.. but things made with stevia and agave are okay.. they don't spike my blood sugar.

February 1, 2006

Had a much better day today.. with better mood and energy.

Some "rules" I am trying to incorporate into my lifestyle...

- Mostly fruit only from waking up until noon (Most weekdays I get up at 6 am)

- Of course, eating more raw foods

- Eating more "vegetable matter" - just fruits and vegetables, cooked or not.. instead of a lot of processed vegan foods.

- Avoiding processed sugar most of the day, but allowing myself a treat after dinner.

Did all these yesterday.

Got up with the solid intention of going to the gym.. can't remember what I did.. but suddenly it was 8 am, and really too late to be going to the gym (I have to be at work at 9 am)

Decided I was going to have to do SOMETHING, so I had a workout at home using the rebounder, my sledgehammer, and some 5 lb. dumbbells. I vigorously exercised for 20 minutes and broke a good sweat, then hit the shower. I felt fantastic afterwards!

Intake:

Breakfast - had two fat free vegan muffins with a little rice milk in the early am, had about 10 whole strawberries and water later, until noon.

Lunch - Salad with romaine and mesclun lettuces, half an avocado, half a tomato, a few raw olives, and sesame dressing. Then, that morning I had steamed some baby potatoes and carrots.. was looking for something to mix them with.. was originally going to use vegan butter (soy based) but we were out of that.. thought of using Vegenaise.. but then saw the vegan Cream of Broccoli and used that instead.. made for a really wonderful lunch!

Dinner - My wife found an Italian store and brought home a box of all organic raviolis with a tofu cheese filling! Yes, vegan raviolis, and they were awesome! Served with an organic marinara sauce, to which she added string beans. Had 8 raviolis.

Snack - Had a vegan chocolate chip cookie from www.alternativebaking.com, and a glass of rice milk. (My wife subscribed to "VegNews" magazine and got some back issues.. they also sent these cookies, which are excellent. The magazine itself is fantastic.. one of the best I've seen.. and contains lots of information about the raw diet. It tends to focus heavily on veganism, rather than vegetarianism)

Output:

20 minutes of vigorous exercise using weights.

Monday, February 6, 2006

Had a weird day today. It was hectic, but I didn't get a lot done.. but the day FLEW by fast! My manager was talking a lot. At one point she pulled up a chair and sat down and asked if anything was bothering me. So, I told her about some work related issues, and the fact that she and another co-worker both smoke in the building, and how I come home stinking of smoke, and how that if my clothes stink, I'm surely breathing in second-hand smoke, etc. I suggested they invest in those "smokeless ashtrays" since where they smoke (upstairs) doesn't have any windows. So it felt good to get that off my chest (no pun intended). Hopefully she'll actually do something about it. In April, a law goes into effect here in NJ that bans all indoor smoking for workplaces, restaurants, and bars.. so I'm praying and hoping that has an impact.. if I'm still there by then.

Synopsis of the weekend and before.. stayed vegetarian (this part has become easy.. meat just doesn't tempt me anymore, in any form.. and I'm thankful for that).. but ate a lot of cheese and dairy products. Thursday night.. ate at an Indian buffet, stuck with the vegetarian dishes.. found out the girl who works there is also a vegetarian. Indian food is my absolute favorite.. and fortunately it's vegetarian-friendly (more so than Chinese food). Sushi used to be my favorite, but I've eaten it only once or twice since I've moved to NJ from Boston. It's funny.. I used to eat it so often.. now I hardly ever think about it. I'd rather have a good Indian buffet.

Went to Baja Fresh for the first time on Saturday. Really liked that place.. lots of vegetarian options (though all the ones I ate had cheese.. so won't be going there too often). Really liked the fresh salsa bar. Didn't like that the "grilled vegetables" consisted of just peppers and onions. (My wife asked this.. she dislikes both).

Had pizza Saturday night.. was okay, but I ate 3 slices anyway. Ate at my in-law's house after church on Sunday, and spent the day there, watched the Super Bowl there, did our laundry there LOL. Had cheese fondue, followed by chocolate fondue.. later in the day snacked on vegetarian buffalo wings, veggie dim sum, veggie chix strips, small Mexican pizzas, homemade mozzarella sticks, etc. Basically pigged out. Verdict: weighed in at 228 lbs. on Monday morning. A new record high for me. When am I going to stop the self-sabotaging?

Have to mention something here that is hard to talk about.. but affected me so deeply on Sunday morning. We were on our way to church.. we drive on the Garden State Parkway, which is a major highway. Every time we've gone to church, I've driven my car, or my wife's car. Well, on Sunday she drove her own car. Everything happens for a reason.

We were driving along, when I saw a large fluffy dog run onto the highway. He never would have made it across, because there's a high concrete barrier in the middle separating the north/south traffic. I saw him get hit by a car. He must have been instantly killed at that speed (at least 60 miles per hour).

I freaked out, and immediately broke down and started crying, hard. My wife never saw anything, (God protected her from seeing it), so at first she thought I was kidding around, then quickly she realized I wasn't. She pulled to the side of the highway. I was crying so hard that I couldn't talk about what I saw. She calmed me down.. and prayed over me. Then a man walked up to our car. She rolled down the window.. he was crying too.. and saying "There's nothing you can do, my friend." We were holding hands through the window, crying together. He kept saying "God bless you".. then he left. A few minutes after that, a state trooper pulled up to make sure we were okay.

I kept crying on the way to church. Once we got to church, I asked our pastor to pray over me. I did feel better after that, and church was really fantastic. Jesus heals.

I truly believe and know in my heart that as awful as that was, I was meant to see it. It happened, but my wife didn't see it at all. I was thinking "How could she NOT see it?!" but now I know it was God's miracle that she didn't see it. We've been talking and praying about how I need to let go of emotional baggage that's buried deep down inside me.. stuff I'm not even aware of.. well, that event certainly brought my emotions to the surface.. it also made me realize just how precious and temporary life is. It also gave me a deep respect for firefighters, police, and EMT's (and doctors and veterinarians) who have to deal with human injury and death on a day to day basis. For how much more valuable is a human's life than a dog's life?

Monday's intake:

Breakfast: Most of a large pear.

Lunch: Leftover bean burrito with some vegan ravioli. This gave me horrendous heartburn.

Dinner: Didn't eat dinner. Went to sleep at 8:30 pm.

Exercise: None

Tuesday, Feb. 7, 2006

Had a mostly raw, all vegan day today.

Pretty frustrating day at work.. I mentioned that I had had a talk yesterday with my manager. I guess she went over it with the owner of the company (who also happens to be her husband.. the guy that interviewed and hired me).
Well, I made the mistake of calling him yesterday to ask about something... I get out of work at 6 pm.. and I called him at about 5 til... didn't get off the phone til about 6:15 because he just yammered on and on. The worst part was he took my idea and made like it was his own, like he thought of it first. That really burned me up. I'm becoming less and less enchanted with this job every day.

Tuesday nights are tough as it is, because we have bible study somewhere.. so by the time I got home, I had 10 minutes to make and eat dinner. So I threw together a pastrami and turkey sandwich on Ezekiel bread with vegan
mayonnaise and mustard. (Fake meat, of course!). I have to admit, it was mighty tasty. It was just the thing and hit the spot.

Had another first today.. I actually made it to the gym before work!! Felt good, but I need to leave earlier. Barely had time for a shower. So wanted to go in the steam room.. but just not enough time. I was 4 minutes late to work. Of COURSE, my manager is there on time, for once (she's usually late!)

Gotta wrap this up.

Intake:

Breakfast - 2 huge pears
Lunch - Organic baby romaine salad with half avocado, half cucumber, spoonful of tahini and 5 raw sun-dried olives
Afternoon - banana with 2 dates
Dinner - Fake meat sandwich, all vegan

No dessert because.. well, that's another story for another day.

Exercise - 20 minutes on the treadmill. Tried Michelle's idea of alternating walking/jogging in tenths of a mile. Works well.. but I'll have to build up to it more. Managed to do 1.45 miles in that time, burned 210 calories. Various arm exercises with the FreeMotion machines.

Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2006

Becoming increasingly disenchanted with my job. Talked about this with my wife.. we both agree I'd be happier doing eBay at home again. My boss talks about "long-term" and "growth potential" but pays me a salary well under
$30K. There are no benefits of any kind. Not even a definite long-range option of purchasing medical insurance. Holidays are meager (We got the day after Christmas off, but not the day after New Year's Day). I do get one week of vacation. Sick and personal days are ambiguous at best. Have talked to my boss about defining these things and putting them on paper. Will ask again tomorrow. If I'm brushed off again, well, there's my answer.

My wife did make a good point: I knew what I was getting into when I accepted the position at such a low salary, with no benefits. My fault for not asking enough questions at the interview.

"Slept in" today. Didn't go to the gym. After work, went to get plates put on my car. After dinner, my wife and I checked out one of those "value Cruise Centers". (It wasn't.. I've found better prices online).

Afterwards we ate at what used to be a favorite buffet. It was a first for me.. I ate no meat or seafood at all. I feel like I was paying for other people to eat crab legs. Probably won't do that again. I felt a little deprived.. I wanted some sushi.. I wanted a piece of fried squid.. or a few shrimp.. or a piece of fish.. but since my wife stuck to her guns, I stuck to mine, too. I did have a few cheese wontons (ok, more than a few), but for the most part filled up on lo mein, mei fun (preposterously thin rice noodles), and veggie fried rice. (Neither one of us felt well the next morning).

Intake:

Breakfast - huge ripe pear
Lunch - 2 "turkey/pastrami" sandwiches with vegenaise, mustard, lettuce, cucumber
Dinner - Assorted vegetarian buffet foods - lo mein, mei fun, fried rice, mushrooms, green olives, 1 veggie spring roll, cheese wontons.
Dessert (at buffet) - piece of apple streudel, 1 longan, 1 small piece coconut jello, 1 sesame ball

Exercise - none.

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

Well, another month has flown by with lots of changes.

I quit my job, too. I went back to doing eBay full-time. I like doing it, and I'm good at it. I'm just doing it better now.. with daytime hours and nights off (I used to work til the wee hours of the morning).

On March 1, Annie and I decided to give up dairy and sugar until Easter. I went a whole week with no sugar or dairy.. then this past Sunday, we did a brunch buffet. I was pretty careful about what I ate.. but at the end, I did have a bite of a former favorite.. a jelly donut. It was waaaay too sweet, and tasted so artificial. I was really buzzing from the sugar. I felt drugged for the rest of the day, and it wasn't a pleasant feeling. According to Annie, I wasn't myself. I felt okay the next day, but felt really lousy yesterday, and not so great today, either. I think I'm detoxing.

Found out about a great site, it's www.sparkpeople.com. It's a food and fitness diary, with lots of support, and it's free. I find it really helps me to keep track of my calories and exercise. I have a goal of weighing 190 lbs. by July 19. This morning I weighed in at 227.. but that's still an improvement over last week's starting point of 230. On Monday, I ate over my calories, and yesterday I ate under. (Probably because I increased my intake of vegetables and fruit).

This Friday the family is going out to celebrate dual birthdays (Annie and her brother, Paul). The type of restaurants Annie's mom is picking out sound really great - if we ate meat! I'm going to try to steer her towards Romano's Macaroni Grill or Bertucci's.. we both like those places, and we can get something vegetarian or even vegan. While we feel it's okay to "allow" ourselves dairy on a special occasion, to be honest, I really don't want it. Next weekend is Annie's actual birthday weekend, so there's another special occasion. I'm going to take Annie to either a vegetarian or vegan restaurant.

When I said we gave up sugar.. that's true.. but not all forms. Sucrose (table sugar) is out.. but dehydrated cane juice is okay. So is agave syrup, which I use in my smoothies. Regular sugar is in a LOT of products. We went through the cabinets and got rid of anything with sugar in it. Most of it went to the local food bank. I must admit, I feel a lot calmer and steadier even though it's only been a short time. Definitely more focused, as well.

So, right now.. I'm dairyless, sugarless, meatless.. but I'm not really sure if I can consider myself vegan or even vegetarian.. because I really miss sushi, and I decided it's okay to have it once in a while (once a month or less). So, what does that make me...? A part-time vegan? A copout? :)

I really detest labels anyway. What matters is that I'm eating a fairly healthy diet most of the time, and I feel good about it. I am trying to include more fruits and vegetables. Yesterday I had a strawberry banana smoothie for breakfast (rice milk, agave, maca, strawberries, a banana) for breakfast, some organic mesclun salad with hummus for lunch, and angel hair and organic marinara for dinner. Another strawberry smoothie when I got home.

Reading a really good book right now. The information in it is fantastic.. though it does come across very harshly. Really makes one think about the state of this country, the government, and food choices. It's called Skinny Bitch. Yeah, not for the weak or easily offended. It's actually aimed at women, but as a man, I got a lot out of it.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

After another weekend vegetarian binge (lots of evil cheese and dairy), my weight was at a new all-time high of 232 lbs. Ouch. Been feeling really lousy, too, so I've decided to eat more raw.

Today I felt absolutely incredible.. like bolts of energy surging through me! Yesterday I had fruit all day, and then sushi for dinner. (Yes, real sushi with raw fish). I've gone back to eating a little fish.. I'm comfortable with it.. maybe someday I'll give it up for real, but for right now, it fits.

Had 5 pieces of leftover sushi today.. later had a pear and a banana smoothie. Still haven't eaten dinner yet.. it'll be Mexican, though... my wife bought all the fixin's, including vegan cheese.

Already I've lost 2 lbs!

Wednesday, April 5, 2006, 7 am

Had some major conviction from God last night about a lot of things. God wants Annie and I to be completely vegan, all the time. (I've been eating fish.. and we've been eating Perkins pancakes on Sundays).

I've been eating more raw.. lots of smoothies, more fruit. Hardly any salads, though. After this past weekend, I weighed in at a new all-time high: 233 pounds, which beat the old record by a pound. Realized the only way I'm going to beat "The Battle of the Bulge" is to exercise.. alot, and eat better. So, made it to the gym Monday and Tuesday.. going again this morning. Will definitely post a new picture on or around May 1.

Annie and I both went to the gym yesterday morning.. together! We're going to try this again Thursday morning.. but going to be getting up at 4:30 am to make it to the gym by 5 when it opens. I hope and pray this continues.. this practice will align my work schedule with hers.

Other than that, my business has been booming. I connected with the owner of a health food store, so I'll be selling lots of his stuff on eBay. Plus, I managed to get a 20% storewide discount, starting yesterday, so I purchased some Nutiva raw organic hemp protein powder. I love this stuff! It's quality protein and really high in fiber! See the nutritional profile here:

http://www.nutiva.com/products/nut_charts/0_chart.php

The discount will really help out in other ways, too.. because I do a lot of my shopping there anyway. ALL of his produce is organic, and there are many vegan products as well.

I'm off to the gym!

Wednesday, April 19, 2006 8:06 am

Just got home from the gym.. my wife and I have started going to the gym together - though I take my own car so I can stay longer - in the early AM. Went on Monday, skipped yesterday, went again today. We get up at about 4:45 am to make it to the gym by 5:00 when they open. So today I did 32 minutes of fast walking on the treadmill, and leg and ab exercises, followed by about 15 minutes in the sauna.

When I got to the gym this morning, I discovered I had forgotten my gym shorts. Dang. So, I wore my street pants. I figured if I went home again (even though the gym is only about 5 minutes away) I'd probably lose my motivation and not go back out again.

Woke up with a low-grade headache this morning, which went away during my workout, but has come back. Might be detox.. I had a definite detox day yesterday.. eliminated about 4 times, and ended up taking a mid-morning nap. My wife thinks it has something to do with the Green Vibrance I've been taking with the fresh squeezed orange juice.. she could be right.. I've had that since Monday. Had it this morning before heading to the gym and I think it really helped my workout.

Treated myself to a new juicer - a Breville Juice Fountain, and got a really good deal. Haven't broken it in yet.. will do so today with some carrot juice.

Been vegan since.. well, Monday. It's a start. Definitely getting in more raw. A lot of that is going to come from the juicer. There are a number of cooked things I'm just not willing to give up yet.. such as rice (I usually eat basmati or brown), Indian food, and the occasional potato.

Went to the gym 4 days in one week last time I journaled, then skipped the entire next week (we were on a mini-vacation and my wife didn't pack gym clothes for me, though there were facilities where we stayed). I'm aiming for 4x per week. Going to set some ambitious goals for June 1. I still intend to post a new pic by May 1. I really dislike the one that's up now, so there's my motivation.

Monday, April 24, 2006 12:36 pm

I am at my brother in law's house.. tragedy has struck our family. My wife's brother's wife died suddenly yesterday morning. She collapsed at home, then died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. She was 32 years old, with no prior personal or family medical problems.

So, we slept over here last night. Will do so again tonight.. not sure about the rest of the week.

Will write more later if possible.

May 1, 2006 6 am

Life is getting back to "normal". Well, some parts of it are. My brother in law seems to be doing better, but of course it will take him a very long time to adjust. His wife died of pulmonary emboli - blood clots in the lungs. It reminds us of just how temporary life can be.

So.. the week before I made it to the gym 5 times.. this past week.. not once.. and although I remained pretty much vegetarian, I ate"comfort foods", which went right through this weekend. Eating the leftovers today (Indian and Mexican, mostly) because I hate throwing food away. Tomorrow we're starting a vegan calorie manipulation diet thing. We'll eat 4 times per day. Also, starting tomorrow, we are both going to the gym.. but in the afternoons this time, instead of 5 am, to see how that works.

I know I promised a new photo for May 1, but under the circumstances, sorry, it's just not going to happen. Not to mention the fact that when I took the last photo in January, I weighed 227 lbs, and as of this morning I weighed 235 lbs. I guess some of that could be muscle, though. My strength has definitely increased. Seems to be so easy to put it on, and so hard to take it off. Back to vegan tomorrow. Look for a new photo on June 1. I hope to have an uninterrupted month of"dieting" and gym attendance.

May 30, 2006

Not much to report here. Didn't go to the gym ONCE all month. Sad, but true. I've been vegan with too often lapses into vegetarianism. Strangely, though, my weight has stabilized.. I've consistently weighed in the range of 231-233 for the past month.. still way heavier than I want to be (I can feel it in my knees, for one thing), but at least I'm not gaining.

Let's just forget any promise of a picture on my part until I achieve some sort of results. And of course, that means (at least!) going to the gym or doing something physical, even if it's just walking around the block every day.

I feel confident that I CAN lose the weight if I exercise, since my weight has remained fairly stable in the past month. All it will take is getting myself to the gym (and of course, lots of hard work!)

I have some ripe bananas.. will make some smoothies today.

June 1, 2006

Haven't been to the gym in over a month. Will go today. Time to get serious. Am going to post my measurements here, because I am expecting results come July 1.

My plan is:

- Go to gym at least 4x per week.
- Allow myself to eat vegetarian twice this month.. otherwise I will consume a vegan diet, with lots of raw (mostly fruit and smoothies).
- Eat something green every day (even if it's just some green powder or hemp)
- Drink at least 64 oz. of water every day (I have a container that holds 74 oz.. makes it easier to keep track). I've been drinking way too much soda. I'll allow myself an occasional root beer (as long as I've drunk all my water for that day, first). This is the way my wife does it and it works well for her.

As of this morning, I weigh 233.5 lbs. My goal weight for July 1 is 220 lbs. Also, in July I plan to do a 5 day fast combined with a colon cleanse. It'll be easier for me then because my wife will be away for
summer school - less distraction.

Weight: 233.5 lbs.

Stomach: 47 inches
Waist: 40 inches
Arms: 15 inches
Chest: 40 inches
Thighs: 28.5 inches
Calves: 17 inches

My calves are bigger than my arms.. ack.

We leave for our cruise to Bermuda on July 23. My goal is to be able to wear a swimsuit without shame (or scaring small children).

Update: Didn't make it to the gym today. However, did drink all my water, had something green ("SuperGreens" powder in the water). It's a start... in the right direction.

June 3, 2006

Thursday, we went to BJ's and loaded up on groceries. Everything we bought was vegan.. which is good considering that the only actual vegan product they have is BocaBurgers.

Yesterday, I was good about drinking my water, but I didn't eat anything green because, well, I didn't eat. Wasn't feeling too well, and I really wasn't hungry, so I didn't eat. However, I did finally make it to the gym. It was pouring buckets of rain outside.. and it was nearly 9 pm (gym closes at 11 pm). I could have said the heck with it, but I'd been putting it off for too long as it was. As soon as I got to my car, my phone rang.. it was my wife.. she had been out chaperoning a play at school.. she was hungry, wanted to know if I wanted to join her for dinner somewhere.. ack.. I wanted to, but then again, I wanted to go to the gym, too. I ended up choosing the gym. Did the recumbent bicycle for 13 minutes, then did some upper body stuff (and I'm sore today), then went into the steam room for a bit, took a shower, and was home by 11. Glad I went. It wasn't a tremendous workout, but it was a start.

I looked at my chart at the gym.. the last time I was there was April 22. The day before my sister in law died. So, I couldn't exercise that next week.. and then one week became another.. became a month.. and here I was again.

Feeling better today.. but still not hungry. We were supposed to go to my MIL's.. and we were supposed to go to lunch at an Ethiopian restaurant (which I was REALLY looking forward to), but my wife looked at the menu online and said there wasn't anything she liked (she's kind of picky). So that kind of killed what little appetite I had.

Funny thing is, usually when I fast, I'm obsessing about food, thinking about my next meal, reading cookbooks, etc. This time, I'm not even thinking about it. Maybe because this wasn't a planned fast.

I did lose 4 pounds between yesterday and today, and my wife said my stomach looked smaller, so that actually gives me the incentive to keep going. Of course, my wife kind of freaks out about fasting.. which is why it's easier to do the colon cleanse when she's away.

Going to try to make it to the gym today. It's 5 pm now.. the gym closes at 7. Fortunately, it's only about 5 minutes away. It's been raining all day.. we've just been reading and watching videos.

I've been drinking plain water, and "Vitamin Water", which is lightly sweetened with fructose and natural flavors.

Update: I did go to the gym.. though I didn't have much time. Got there at about 6:25.. did the arm machine for 5 minutes (think of a bicycle.. but using your arms instead of your legs), then did the recumbent bike for 8 minutes. After that, I had time for the steam room (for about 5 minutes.. they must turn it off at 6:30 because it wasn't very hot), and a shower.

I broke my fast at 9 pm.. and unfortunately, I went a little nuts. I had about a cup of broccoli soup (vegetable broth, broccoli, couple of chunks of potato, cooked and run through the blender), then a bagel with vegan butter and jelly, then a bunch of crackers, then a little soy ice cream.

Still, I'm glad I did the fast.. a good kick start.. and I'm glad I went to the gym, even if it wasn't for very long.

June 15, 2006

12:30 am

I've been suffering from insomnia lately.. which includes right now. No matter what time I go to bed, I end up sleeping until noon, which is hurting my work life, to say the least. Last night I went to bed at 7 pm.. only to wake up 4 hours later, unable to sleep. So, here I am. Most likely I'll get sleepy again around 4 am.

Have not been keeping up with my water intake or my gym attendance.. I wouldn't doubt if either of those had something to do with it.

Tried Allie's idea of a banana and romaine smoothie. Must be an acquired taste. Maybe the bananas I used were too ripe (they were practically liquid). I gagged about half of it down.. couldn't take anymore. :)

My wife leaves next week for "summer school" - for the last 5 years, she's been teaching honor students at a university in PA. This will be her 6th year.. but due to her work schedule and mine, I will probably not see her for a full two weeks. We've never been apart that long.. it will be really hard on both of us.

Ever since I became a Christian (best decision I've ever made!), I've always wanted to go to one of those huge outdoor Christian music festivals. Somehow I've just never been able to go. Well, I am going this year!! Attending Creation '06 in the middle of PA towards the end of June. I am really excited! I'll be either camping in a tent, or sleeping in my car. I plan to pack lots of non-perishable snacks (and a case of water!).. and maybe a cooler full of fruit.. I don't want to be surprised or unprepared if there turn out to be no vegan food options... I've "winged it" before and ended up eating stuff I normally would steer clear of.

My weight has not fluctuated much.. still 231 or so.. well, at least I haven't gained. :)

I wish my gym was 24 hours.. I would go right now! I did go last Thursday.. did 45 minutes on the treadmill at a brisk pace.. and a heavy upper body workout.. wiped myself out! Since then my arms & chest were very sore.. but now I'm better.. I will definitely go today.

June 30, 2006 4:30 pm

Have been mostly vegan for the past two weeks with a few exceptions.. had 2 pieces of Godiva chocolate (it was a 2 piece package.. so, that's it!) and found it to be WAYYYY too sweet.. like, blah. Also, my mom made me some home made pesto, with a little cheese in it.. I've had it with some pasta.. but it's not the main part of my meal.

Also been divulging in coffee from the 7-11 across the street.. but that's a means to an end, and a slippery slope.. even though I was buying it black and adding rice milk when I got home. I know enough to know that my true energy source is fresh fruits and vegetables, not caffeine and sugar!

My Christian music festival got canceled due to heavy rains and flooding.. so I've been really bummed about that.. to the point that I hadn't felt like doing much else.. so kind of lagged this week.

I did Shovelglove a few times, though, so that's something. Been trying to live on just the food that's in the house since my wife's away for 3 weeks.. but I'd been having such a craving for
Todd's apple/avocado salad that I broke down and bought some Gala apples, avocadoes, and some bananas. Tried his salad.. which is just cubed apples and avocado with a little sea salt and cayenne.. and have to say, I love it! I love simple foods anyway.. this is one of the simplest, and it's very energizing.

I get to see a friend tomorrow from Florida.. I haven't seen him since last year at this time.. he comes up every year for the July 4th weekend. And my mom wants to take me to dinner.. anywhere I want to go. Well, I want to stay vegan.. so I'll have to think of someplace good. I was thinking of maybe vegetarian sushi somewhere.. or maybe there's a vegan restaurant somewhere that's NOT in NYC (there's about a million of them in NYC.. but I hate the city).

In the weight department.. well, I've been pleasantly surprised that my weight has dropped below the 230 lb. mark! Right now I weigh in at about 228 lbs.. so, I'm getting there.. slow but steadily and surely. Congratulations to Michelle who now weighs less than me! :) Seriously,
Michelle, I'm really impressed by all of your hard work.

July 11, 2006

I went to see my wife this past weekend, in Bethlehem, PA. I had not seen her for over two weeks (the longest we've ever been apart!) It was a really fantastic weekend.. very relaxing and lots of fun. I really love Bethlehem and wish we could move there. Even though it's only about 90 minutes from where we live, the people there are noticeably friendlier than NJ.. plus the scenery is fantastic as well. And the real estate prices are WAYYYY less than here! The real estate market in NJ is quite discouraging.. not to mention the highest property taxes in the NATION. It also doesn't help that we have a lying Democrat for a governor (who finally whined his way into raising the sales tax). Yeah, I was born and raised in NJ, but I don't have any love for this state (other than the fact that I met my wife here.. the love of my life). I'd rather live almost anywhere else, except for Massachusetts. I'd actually choose NJ over Massachusetts.

The only thing that's keeping us here in NJ is.. my wife has a really good teaching position at a local school.. she's got one year to go and then she gets tenure. The administration really loves her.. so do the kids and parents.. and she loves her job.. and she's darn good at it, and she makes a good salary. Also, when she gets tenure.. I'll have free health benefits, and so will our future children. That's a lot to consider.. on the one hand, I'd love to get out of NJ.. on the other hand.. it's hard to pull up stakes and start all over again somewhere else.. having to get a new position, and "get in line" for tenure again.

On Friday night we ate at an Indian restaurant.. we had our dishes "veganized".. it was excellent, but a little salty. On Saturday night, we ate at a Mexican restaurant, which was also excellent. We also visited a vegan bakery (www.vegantreats.com). We got a selection of stuff to go.. coconut cake, chocolate covered strawberry shortcake, peanut butter mousse bomb, cookies n' cream cheezecake, 4 donuts, and a raspberry bar. The stuff was fantastic.. but a lot of it was waaaayyy too sweet for my taste. I used to have a really bad sweet tooth.. but I got used to not eating it as much.. so this stuff was sugar overload.. my favorites were the Boston cream pie donut, the raspberry bar, and the peanut butter thing.

I came back after all that and found my weight pretty much the same.. I've been holding at around 225.. which is a bit less than the usual lower 230's.

I've been having a craving for hot dogs lately.. so I went out and got some today (vegan ones, of course!) A real meat hot dog.. I couldn't even fathom the thought. Gag!

So for dinner I had a couple of "not dogs", and some vegan baked beans. They hit the spot, and tasted fairly close to the "real thing".. both in taste and texture. While at the store, I also bought cherries.. since I'd been craving those as well.. I bought the more expensive Rainier cherries, as well as the less expensive bing cherries ($2.50/lb., which I didn't think was too bad).. I've seen cherries as high as $8.99/lb. around here.

MUST get to the gym soon... I've got less than 2 weeks to go before I go on my cruise.. I really don't want to be Mr. FlubberGut at the pool.. but if there's to be any hope.. I really have to start today.

When we come back from the cruise.. we've got about 2 days.. and then we're heading up to NH for Soulfest, which is a 5 day Christian music festival. Since Creation got canceled/postponed, I was pretty bummed out until I remembered Soulfest.. and as it turns out, I qualified for a 50% discount on the tickets since I bought Creation tickets.. some special promotion they were running. Perhaps it all works out for the best, because this time my wife gets to go with me.. While I'm looking forward to the cruise, I think I'm looking forward to this a bit more.. we were also considering heading up to Montreal for a few days.. but I think we might be overdoing it.. so we'll probably head south and maybe visit some of my Boston friends on the way home.

July 22, 2006 1:42 am

We go on our cruise tomorrow. We get back next Sunday, then we leave early the next morning for Soulfest in NH. While I'm looking forward to the cruise, I must admit I'm looking forward to Soulfest even more!

A little background information: Some years ago, when I was living in Massachusetts and married to my first wife, I had stomach pains.. well, not in my stomach.. but in my intestines.. I finally went to the doctor, who really couldn't tell me anything.. after the appointment, I brought my folder back to the nurse, and took a peek inside it.. the doctor had written "I.B.S." which I later found out stood for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and it meant he really didn't know what it was (but he couldn't have told me that?)

Well, anyway, those pains went away, and only rarely resurfaced.. well, they came back this week.. full-fledged, right before my cruise. I am trusting God to heal me. I don't like or trust doctors, not to mention I don't have health insurance.. so I am drinking lots of water, trying to eat right and eating lots of fiber in the way of fresh fruit and vegetables, getting rest, and exercising. I find that if I do these things, the pain stays at bay.

I've finally gone back to the gym! Went last night with my wife.. we spent an hour in the pool, where we swam and worked out with water resistance "weights". We also went Thursday. Just being in the water again is a great victory for me. By the grace of God I have been gaining confidence being in deep water. More background information: when I was about 8 or 9, my parents signed me up for swimming lessons. The swim teacher, Mr. Twait (funny how I still remember his name), would throw us in the deep end when we wouldn't jump in ourselves.. while we were floundering.. he would reach to us with a long pole..
when we grasped for it, he'd yank it out of our reach. I remember making myself sick so I wouldn't have to go to swim lessons. As a result, I've had a deep-seated fear of deep water. (I didn't learn to swim, either). So my being able to get in the water is a major accomplishment.

We have a 3 point plan for the cruise, and Soulfest, and probably until further notice:

1. Eat at least 1 serving of fresh fruit and 2 vegetables per day.

2. Do at least 20-30 minutes of exercise Monday through Friday, each day, whether it be swimming, treadmill, hiking, weights, etc.

3. Eat 90% vegan with 10% splurges reserved for desserts, special courses, etc.

My #4: Drink plenty of water.

I did a fleamarket yesterday, (Friday), and did fairly well. Even though it was cloudy most of the day, I still managed to get a little sunburn on my neck and arms. Have to watch that.

Weighed in tonight at 226 lbs, which is right where I thought I'd be. I hope to not gain weight on the cruise.. but am not going to obsess or worry about it. The next time we'll be getting on the scale will be August 7.. which is probably the next time I'll be journalling, as well.

August 11, 2006

Back from 2 weeks vacation! We spent a week in Bermuda.. well, 3 days, actually.. the other time was spent on a ship getting to and from there. It was a good, but not great trip. The highlight for both of us was snorkeling in the crystal clear waters of Bermuda. The low point was the ship itself.. an older ship, the smallest ship of the NCL fleet.. we felt all the waves, all the rolls... everyone felt seasick.. well, I didn't.. but I did get sick for about half a day, probably from something I ate the night before. It was my in-law's first cruise, and I felt bad for them. This was the first cruise I've been on where I couldn't wait to get off the ship!

Soulfest blew away the cruise.. so much that the cruise feels like a distant memory.. we were intimate with God and each other.. it was like heaven on earth.. concerts all week.. we saw Casting Crowns, Third Day, Chris Tomlin, Mercy Me, and many more.. all were excellent. I was prayed and prophesied over, which gave me much encouragement for my walk with Christ.

So, I came back to discover that I GAINED 4 pounds! So, I've got a lot of work in front of me... I'm inspired by Michelle.. and my friend Charlie, who lost about 60 pounds since I saw him last in October. I got to see him on the way home from Soulfest.. wow.. what a
difference.

I've just gotten to the point where I'm unhappy with how I look and feel. My wife says I'm basically thin all over, except for my stomach. She's right.. but I'm tired of having a gut. Unfortunately, I also read somewhere that that's the last place the body loses fat from. Oh
well, I guess I'll be that much leaner.. I don't mind!

I went to the gym on Wednesday.. did some upper body stuff, then 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.8 mph and a 1.0 incline.. I'm keeping the intensity low so I can burn fat. After that I hit the steam room for about 10 minutes, then the therapy pool for a few minutes,
finished up in the hot tub, before showering.

When I came home, I weighed 230.5 on Monday morning. This morning, I'm already down to 224.0 lbs. Maybe my scale is wacky, but I'm not complaining.

On the cruise, we were vegan for a while, then lapsed into vegetarianism, and both of us ate fish.. I more so than Annie. At Soulfest.. we were back to being vegan.. we had fruit in the
mornings.. Annie cooked alot (we bought a camp stove).. she made veggie hot dogs, veggie burgers, and an awesome veggie meatballs stroganoff with mushroom gravy. We bought a few meals there.. mostly veggie burgers or burritos.. and there were these awesome fries..
awesome until I found out they were cooked in a combination of vegetable oil and beef fat... but even after finding that out, we ate them anyway.

Now I'm back to much simpler (and vegan) meals. Had a couple of Morningstar vegan chicken patties for lunch yesterday.. made me sleepy.. took a FIVE hour nap.. ack! What is in those things?

Tonight we're planning on heading to Kaya's Kitchen (www.kayaskitchen.com).. this is also where I want to go for my birthday, provided I like it (we haven't been there yet!) I don't
think I'll have any problem liking it! I'm going to have a hard time making up my mind as it is!

Hope to hit the gym today at some point.. if not, then definitely this weekend!

August 13, 2006

I went to the gym Friday night.. and Saturday night.. did a leg workout on Friday, then 25 minutes on the treadmill. Saturday was an upper body workout, and another 25 minutes on the treadmill. Today is a day of rest.. my shoulders are sore from last night...

I'm at my in-laws today... we're having dinner in a few minutes.. veggie sausage and burgers, white corn, potatoes, etc.

I am enjoying the day off, but looking forward to going to the gym tomorrow. Oh yeah.. I weighed 223.5 on Saturday morning.. but 226 this morning.. I think my scale has a mind of it's own.. but I'm not worried about the weight gain.

We did go to Kaya's Kitchen.. last night.. it took us 55 minutes to get there.. but came home by a different route.. which was 3 miles longer but took only 35 minutes!

The food was very tasty... I had a "junkyard" burger (soy burger with fake bacon, vegan cheese, grilled onions, mushrooms plus lettuce, tomato and vegan mayo). The fries were great, too. Annie had pierogies, which she loved. We also had the appetizer combo, and
brought home dessert. What we weren't crazy about was the strong theme of eastern mysticism in the restaurant.

Dinner's ready.. gotta go!

August 29, 2006

1:30 am

I noticed journaling on the site has become very sporadic.. myself included. I will try to post more often.

Since I last posted, my wife and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary. I surprised her with a 2 night stay at a Victorian bed & breakfast. The owners were very accommodating, and we had a fantastic custom made breakfast each morning, complete with organic fresh fruit. One morning we had corn fritters and home fries, the next morning we had pancakes. We had a great time walking around Flemington, NJ, where the inn was located.

After a little over a week, I finally made it back to the gym last night. I did some upper body work, followed by 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.9 mph, which is right where I want to be to burn fat.

I helped a friend move last Friday night, and his 9 year old son playfully poked me in my stomach and said "You're fat." Now, of course, he was just kidding around, and didn't mean anything by it, but having that pointed out by a 9 year old.. well, it just really hits home for some reason.

Next week, Annie and I start "baby boot camp" which means we'll both be going to the gym together on a daily basis, to prepare ourselves to have a baby. I want to be able to keep up with my kids! I'm starting a week early, though. The last time I went to the gym before last night was Saturday the 19th, and before that was Saturday the 12th. I'm certainly not going to make the kind of progress I desire if I go only once a week!

I've been eating fairly healthy, mostly vegan meals. I've been eating more fruit and vegetables. Trying to eat some fresh fruit every morning. Today I had a nectarine and a peach. Later I made a banana/rice & soy milk smoothie.

My weight has been fairly consistent, right around the 225/226 pound mark. At least I haven't gained.. but I'm certainly ready to take it to the next level and start moving those numbers downward!

August 30, 2006

11:30 pm

Made it to the gym again tonight.. did an upper body workout, followed by a few lower body exercises and then 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.9 mph. I find that if I'm listening to good music, the time just flies by. I also put a couple of audio books on my Ipod, solely for the purpose of treadmill walking. Workout-wise, I'm pushing myself harder than usual because I really want to make (and see) progress.

I've been researching IBS.. I have all the symptoms. I've been fine the last few days, then today had a flare-up. Found out why.. we went to a Mexican restaurant last night, and I had cheese. Dairy products are one of the worst "triggers" for IBS. Another reason to be vegan! I found a cool book on Amazon, but then found it today at my local library.. Eating for IBS, by Heather Van Vorous. Lots of good tips on foods to stay away from. Not a vegetarian book, though.

Shameless plug: I went through my raw food book collection, and I'll be placing a lot of them on eBay tomorrow night. My eBay user ID is HouseofHannah if anyone's interested. There's a few raw books on there right now, in fact.

I still intend to incorporate raw foods into my diet.. but I realized I just don't need so many books. Once upon a time, I had to have EVERY raw food book out there, so I amassed quite the collection. There are some I'm keeping.. I tried to save ten books.. but right now it's more like 15. I have a few favorites, like my signed copy of Juliano's Raw, and my signed Living on Live Food by Alissa Cohen. Funny.. a lot of my books are signed.. all the ones by Paul Nison.. and one by David Wolfe (some of those will be on eBay). I met all of these people in person, except for Juliano, though I did eat at his restaurant in Santa Monica.

I was never into the whole sprouting/soaking/dehydrating thing. The most involved I got was using my blender.. which I still use. I find I like the simpler foods best.

Funny, I was on Amazon today... (which is how I found out about the Eating for IBS book) and there's a "new" raw food book I want to buy - Green for Life by Victoria Boutenko. Have to decide if I really need it.. it's all about green smoothies.. I think those are a great way to go. I did try a banana/romaine smoothie (See June 15, 2006 entry).. it didn't go over so well. I'm sure there are other combinations that are more palatable.

I turn 42 on Friday.. my wife's got a bunch of surprises planned, but I have no idea what. That's the idea, right? :) I know I want to go to an Ethiopian restaurant for lunch.. might do that tomorrow.. on Friday, weather pending, we might be going to an amusement park with mini-golf, go-carts, arcade, etc. (I'm just a kid at heart). In Toms River, there's a raw food restaurant I want to try - www.eastcoastvegan.com. On Saturday night, Annie's parents are taking us out for dinner.. my choice of restaurant. It's probably going to be either Kaya's Kitchen in Belmar, or Down to Earth in Red Bank.. both vegan restaurants.

Less than a month ago, I thought for sure I'd be picking sushi. Praise God, I don't have a desire for it anymore. Just don't want to eat fish or seafood of any type, raw or cooked. Actually, my tastes/habits have changed quite a bit over the last few months. For one thing, I'm eating a lot less.. smaller portions. I eat until I'm satisfied.. or no longer hungry.. whereas in the past, I would eat until I was stuffed, and then still order dessert. Speaking of dessert, I rarely have it anymore. I used to have a fiendish sweet tooth. Cakes, pies, cookies and ice cream were the norm. Now I find it satisfied by some fruit, or a banana smoothie. I look at the fancy desserts in restaurants (most of which are loaded with dairy and sugar) and none of them appeal to me. This is a tremendous blessing.

I probably won't make it to the gym again until Saturday.. though I might be able to sneak in a mini-workout tomorrow.

September 6, 2006

Found out on Friday that my mom was admitted to the hospita for tests. My mom is not in the best of health, but this still comes as a shock.. The doctors think it is lung cancer. Hopefully she will be released this Friday. Not sure what's going to happen after that... I'm not sure my mom wants to go the medical treatment route.. so maybe I'll end up moving in with her to take care of her. I've already had confirmation from God that this isn't going to be an easy journey.. but He'll be right there all along the way.. I just have to make sure I focus on Him and not on my own power.

Ebay's been pretty slow.. thankfully, 9 out of 12 items sold last night.. so that helps. There are bids on only 3 of my 15 raw books that I listed, but lately most people have waited until the last minute to bid.. hopefully tomorrow night will be no exception. Early Friday morning, we decided that I would go out and temporarily get a job to help pay the bills.. but now everything with that is on hold until we figure out what's going to be happening with mom.

I know I've been pretty wishy-washy diet/food choice-wise, so I'm almost afraid to announce this here... but Annie and I decided we're going to do the Hallelujah Diet starting on Monday. We're going to do it faithfully for one month. It's a high raw diet.

I'm kind of tired of not losing weight.. but at least I'm not gaining.. still weighing in at 226, though that's not really why I want to go on the diet... ok, who am I kidding.. it is one reason of many. My father died of aggressive liver cancer.. my mom had breast cancer twice, and now possibly lung cancer, so obviously cancer is in my family.. I don't want to dwell on it too much.. but then again, I don't want to wait until I really start having problems before I decide to do something about them, either.

Haven't been to the gym since last Wednesday.. so, over a week again. I have a lot to do tomorrow, but am really going to make an effort to go. It seems like every time I start to make progress.. something happens and suddenly it is a week, weeks, a month or more that I'm away.

That's about it for now.. didn't want to let too much time go by before I posted.. time has a habit of flying.. I see quite a few of the other posters fell by the wayside.. I don't want to let journaling get away from me... again. It has before.

September 10, 2006

Annie and I have been cleaning out our cabinets of "offensive foods" before Monday. The first time we did this (sometime last year), there was a TON of stuff we had to get rid of.. this time around.. not that much. We're going shopping tomorrow.. buying a lot of fruit, greens (for green smoothies!), salad fixings, some fake meats, etc., and watching the labels of everything because we're avoiding white sugar, white flour, hydrogenated oils, etc., as well as the more obvious stuff like eggs, dairy and other animal products.

I haven't been to the gym since last week.. I hate when that happens... but we're both going to be exercising, so I'm sure I'll start going on a regular basis soon.

Lastly, for now.. there's no easy way to say this.. but we picked up my mom on Friday from the hospital. After a week-long barrage of tests, she's been told she has a malignant tumor in her lung, and if she doesn't have chemotherapy, she has about 6 weeks to live. Well, I saw how fast my father went downhill after having chemo.. and I think at nearly 83 years of age my mom will last a lot less than 6 weeks if she DOES opt for the chemo.

It's really hard.. mom's got a consultation with her oncologist on Tuesday morning.. I'm going to go with her. It'll probably be all I can do to keep from leaping over the desk and strangling the doctor, but I'm going to go anyway. Annie and I are both trying really hard to convince my mom to go on the Hallelujah diet, but ultimately we have to respect my mom's decision even if she does choose chemo or radiation.

September 13, 2006

Despite a stressful week, I did start eating better on Monday. I think eating better will help me to handle stress better, anyway. That and a lot of prayer.

On Monday I had two green smoothies, some fruit, a salad for lunch, and a mixture of cooked spinach and tofu for dinner.

Yesterday (Tuesday), I accompanied my mom to the oncologist for her review. As soon as I dropped her off, a car backed right into the front of my mom's car. There wasn't much damage, but since I had to gather all the information, I wasn't able to be with my mom during her consultation, until nearly the end. The doctor, of course, heartily recommended chemotherapy.. he didn't even really give my mom a chance to think it over, said she needed to start as soon as possible. I asked the doctor his opinion on combating cancer from a nutritional approach. He said he's looked into it, and smugly responded that it doesn't work. It was at this point that I jumped over the desk and strangled him with his own stethoscope while beating him with a paperweight.

OK, that didn't happen.. but it's not like anyone reads this journal anyway. Except maybe my wife. Hi honey, I love you and miss you!

I've been at my mom's since Monday night, and I'm not going home until Friday night, provided that she's okay enough to leave alone after 3 days of chemo. She started first thing Tuesday, right after her "consultation", in the same office. She'll have chemo for 3 days, then off for three weeks, then another 3 days of chemo, etc., for a total of 12 days of chemo. We're told she has a 75% chance of survival, whatever that means.

My wife and I almost had her talked out of continuing the chemo, then the doctors came up with that 75% chance stuff, so my mom decided to go through with it.

In the meantime, though, Mom agreed to let me handle her food preparation. So while she was getting her first chemo on Tuesday, I went through her cabinets, pantry, refrigerator and freezer, and got rid of a lot of stuff, mostly anything with animal products in it. I gave a lot away to her friends who are neighbors, and threw out the rest. I went out today and bought lots of organic fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, and a few other things like rice milk, soy yogurt, Ezekiel bread, etc.

Tonight I made mom a "mock turkey salad" sandwich on Ezekiel bread with lettuce and tomato. She loved it. I made myself one, liked it so much I made and ate another one! Other than that, I had a glass of water with Green Vibrance this morning, and then a cucumber tomato basil salad at about 3:30 pm. I'm definitely not eating enough, but I've been stressed and stretched to the max and I haven't really felt deprived.

Yesterday I had the water with Green Vibrance in the morning, then didn't eat again until about 2:30 in the afternoon when I had a banana with some Smart Balance peanut butter. Around 9 pm, a good friend of mine stopped by, we went out to a diner. I wasn't really hungry, but felt I should eat. Not many healthy choices in a diner.. the lentil soup had beef broth in it, so that was out. I ended up getting a "tri-colore salad" which had arugula, endive, and radicchio in it, along with some Greek olives, a few croutons, and some tomato quarters. I had Italian dressing on the side. The salad really hit the spot.. I even liked the dressing. I would definitely get this salad again. My friend had a big slice of carrot cake for dessert.. I had a slice of baklava, which is a Greek pastry. It was good, but I have to admit I enjoyed the salad more!

Not much in the way of exercise, though I did take the stairs twice today instead of the elevator at the Oncology office.. that last flight was a killer.

I just weighed myself on mom's scale (same model of scale we have at home): 222 lbs. On Monday, I weighed 227, which I thought was fitting because I'm starting over again, and that's exactly what I weighed in January when I submitted my most recent photos.

September 14, 2006

First of all, thank you to those of you who wrote to let me know you DO read my journal.. it's nice to know I'm not alone out there.. thank you for writing.. life is a little overwhelming right now, and I really appreciate the support and kind words.

Mom had her third session of chemo today. She's been taking it really well. So far no nausea or vomiting, thank God. Her appetite has been good, too. She's been vegan since I arrived! She's happily embracing her new diet, and so far has liked all the food I've prepared for her.

A friend of hers called today.. she had prepared a bunch of food for my mom, and wanted me to come pick it up. While that was a really sweet thing to do, it was things like stuffed ziti with meatballs, and peppers with Italian sausage. I explained to her friend that I put my mom on a vegan diet, and removed all foods containing animal products from the house. I think a lot of people have no clue what "vegan" means.

I'm really proud of my mom for not wanting the food, and trusting in me to feed her. She's starting to see the light a little more on the dangers of animal products. She also gave up her morning coffee (a huge step!) and put away her coffeepot after I told her that coffee was acidic and detrimental to her healing. She's drinking herbal tea instead, and I've replaced her white cane sugar with raw, organic agave nectar.

Today I made her kale salad from Alissa's Living on Live Food book (kale with tomatoes, avocado, olive oil, and lemon juice). It came out REALLY well.. mom ate the whole thing with a piece of toasted Ezekiel bread. For dinner I made her Fettucine Alfredo (also from Alissa's book). This came out pretty good.. we both had it, mom loved it.. very filling!

I also had fresh squeezed OJ with some Green Vibrance for breakfast.. had a spinach/mesclun salad for lunch with 2 slices of toasted Ezekiel bread (and now I'm all freaked out by this news story about bagged spinach being contaminated with E. Coli.. and I put some in mom's kale salad.. granted, it was organic from Earthbound Farms, but now I'm all paranoid.. gonna throw it out tomorrow, until this scare passes or they figure out what's wrong.. the thing that really sucks is it takes seven DAYS for symptoms to show up.. so here's hoping I don't get bloody diarrhea by next week).

Had a banana/pineapple/ginger smoothie for a snack after dinner. Also, had a Rice Dream frozen cookie dessert thing last night after I wrote the journal.

Gonna wake up tomorrow morning and prepare a bunch of recipes for mom so she has something to eat.. I'm mostly using Alissa's book.. basically I'm sticking with stuff that doesn't include sprouted ingredients or dehydrating.. I'm heading home for the weekend.. I'll be back at mom's next week.

I weighed in at 221 lbs. this morning.. that seems unreal.. can't wait to see what my scale at home says!

No exercise today except I ran up 4 flights of stairs at the oncology clinic.

September 16, 2006

Last night (Friday), we took my MIL out to dinner for her birthday. We went to her favorite Chinese restaurant. I wasn't overly hungry, but had some hot & sour soup, 1 1/2 vegetable spring rolls, & some fried noodles with duck sauce. I really didn't want an entree but felt pressured to order one anyway, so I had veggie fried rice. It was loaded with onions, and I forgot to ask them to hold the egg. I took most of it home, but ended up throwing it out.

Not sure what exactly did it, but I woke up at 4 am with stomach cramps.. was up for 3 hours. Won't be eating anything from there again anytime soon.

On Friday, during the day at my mom's, I made a green smoothie of banana, kale, strawberries, a peach, water, and a squirt of agave. It was thick. I've figured out I can't do bananas in my green smoothies anymore.. I don't like the consistency.. it makes me gag. I also ate an orange.

Mom's starting to feel the effects of the chemo. She's more tired, achy, and today felt nauseous. She confessed to having ordered Chinese food.. tofu with vegetables and rice. That's okay by me.. it's still vegan! I was really proud of her.. she knows enough to stay away from animal products now. She said she loves the raw food, but it takes some getting used to.

I made my mom the kale salad again.. I also made her Alissa's walnut mushroom pate. First time making this, it kind of reminded me of chicken liver pate. I liked it though!

Thought I lost a bunch of weight this week.. but, I figured out Mom's scale is off. I weighed in at 223 lbs. this morning, so I need to add 3 pounds to mom's scale when weighing at her house. That's okay, though.. I still lost 4 pounds since Monday. I notice a difference in how I look, so does my wife.

Today I had a smoothie made from the juice and meat of 1 young coconut, plus a banana, some strawberries, & a squirt of agave. Later on I had half a pear, a few bites of rice and broccoli, and a few things I got at the Whole Foods salad bar when I shopped there on Thursday.. BBQ tempeh (okay), and grilled pineapple (awesome!)

Didn't eat for the rest of the day, my stomach was/is still bothering me, plus I felt dizzy and drained all day. Now I'm hungry but it's really late and I don't want to eat.. so perhaps I'll eat again tomorrow.. otherwise, I'll take a day off from eating.

Regarding the recent E. Coli/spinach scare, I got this from one of my wife's email lists:

I read on a vegan message board that the media left out the rest of
the story, it was sewage runoff from factory farming that caused the
E-coli contamination. Figures, factory farming causes even vegan food
to be unsafe!

September 28, 2006

First, a brief note on my mom.. she was doing really well, feeling better, eating vegan... then all of a sudden told me "I can't eat like this right now".. next thing I know, her fridge is full of dairy products and meat again.. sigh.. this is soooo hard to deal with... she either just doesn't get it, or doesn't care... or it's too drastic of a change for her. Her friend, an RN, is pushing her to eat eggs, other friends brought over soups containing meats... she's eating that crap now, but claims she's "half-vegan". I'd laugh if it wasn't so sad...

Well, my mom's stubbornness regarding her diet has only served to make me more steadfast to remain vegan. I thank God that some foods that used to be favorites of mine hardly cross my mind anymore.. like ice cream, cheese, butter, fish, etc.

Days are usually smoothies.. although today I wasn't much hungry and just had a little orange juice and a little apple cider, and a bite of a nectarine (which was sort of mealy.. fruit like this goes into smoothies!) For dinner I had vegan meatballs in a whole wheat wrap with steamed broccoli, olives, and some organic hummus. Also some raw cucumber and baby carrots.

We decided to cancel our gym membership to save money.. but we have one month left on it.. I went today for the first time in a month.. I love the treadmill.. I really don't want to give up the membership.. so Annie may just quit her membership, which would cut our fees in half.

Today I did an upper body workout, then 30 minutes on the treadmill at 3.7 mph, and I did Heavyhands (2 pound weights) most of the time, so I'm sure I burned considerably more than the 200 calories displayed on the machine.

I'm thinking of doing a juice fast soon, before it gets too cold (since fasting lowers your body temperature).

This morning, I weighed in at 220 lbs. The weight is coming off slowly and steadily!

October 18, 2006

My mom passed away yesterday. She is with Jesus now.. in a much better place.

I weighed in at 219 this morning, so I am down a few pounds.

That is all for now.

November 6, 2006

Not much new to report here. For the remainder of October after my mother's death, I ate whatever I wanted.. which included lots of cheese and other dairy, and sushi 3 times.

For November, I've committed to being 100% vegan. So far, so good. Exercise has been nil, but my weight is about the same.

Lots to do, and I've been keeping really busy settling my mom's estate. It's been easy on some days, and harder on others. Knowing she's in a better place has made the grieving process somewhat easier. She had a lovely memorial service at her church.

God has really been blessing me through this whole process. He has been my source of strength. No way I could have gotten through this and done as much as I have without Him. As hard as this is, and as much as I miss my mom, it is all part of His plan.

Annie and I have been looking at houses. So far, we've seriously looked at two. Both times, we thought they were "the one" but both times we were disappointed (pictures don't always tell the whole story). But, we've been pre-approved for a mortgage, and we've got a good realtor, so now it's just a matter of finding the right home for us and our future family.

On Wednesday, I'm signing the papers to put my mom's house on the market. Hopefully sometime this week I'm selling her car as well (I've got a buyer lined up.. just need the time for both of us to get together and get the deal done).

Blessings and love to all.

November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

I was 100% vegan until November 18th.. God said it was okay to eat vegetarian at restaurants.. so we had veggie burgers at Chili's. We both had dessert, too. It was way too sweet. We also split one of those onion bloomin' blossom thingys. Way too greasy and salty. Ended up taking most of it home but then throwing it out.

We put an offer on a house, it was accepted, we had a house inspection yesterday. There are some problems with the house, hopefully we can get things ironed out because we both really like this house.

My mom's house is now on the market.. I'm hoping it will sell fast.Today we are at my in-law's for Thanksgiving dinner. We brought a Tofurky, but I didn't know it had to be defrosted first.. so we'll have to cook that another time.

However, I'm making two side dishes.. sweet and sour vegan meatballs, and cranberry orange relish. There's also a ton of vegetables to eat. My in-laws are deep-frying their turkey this year at their friend's house (the husband is my attorney for the house purchase).

I have to go make the side dishes. My weight this morning was 217.5 lbs. Now that life will be getting somewhat back to normal I hope to start attending the gym again on a regular basis.

Art's Raw Journey: 2006 Email: gastrawnome at gmail dot com (not a clickable link to avoid spammers)

Art's Raw Journey:
2006

Email: gastrawnome at gmail dot com
(not a clickable link to avoid spammers)