Michelle's Raw Journey:
2008

Email: michelle at fromsadtoraw dot com
(not a clickable link to avoid spammers)

January 29, 2008

It's been forever....Watch for an update in just a few days.....

January 30, 2008

Well, here it is...my update has taken me more than a month to make, because I've been in the process of a major life change.

I've accepted a position an animal-rights organization. Stephanie is, of course, moving with me and we're taking our four little dogs and our two adopted aquatic dwarf frogs.

We'll be living within 12 miles of the beach, which is a huge draw, since we are both water babies. The local restaurant scene is inundated with vegan options, so I'm REALLY looking forward to that. (I ate like a vegan queen the week I was out there interviewing.) I still have a long way to go to get myself closer to the raw life I used to live, but this is definitely a catalyst to get back there.

Here's the plan --- I start my new job on March 3, 2008. Over the next two weeks we'll be packing and loading... the week after that we'll be moving, unloading, unpacking and getting settled. Then the fourth week I go to work. Stephanie is taking her job with us to Virginia. She'll be working from home, which is great for her, as well as our animal companions!

We're both very excited about this new adventure!

February 16, 2008

Steph and I are in Virginia on a 5 day house hunt. We'll return to Arkansas with "house in hand" on Wednesday (or we won't return until we have one.) Our dogs are being babysat at home by my ex (you all remember Boni, I'm sure), while we search for the perfect, in-our-price-range, with a fence and a place to park, house to rent, starting...oh in less than 10 days! Yikes. But we did find one today that we are gonna check out further in the morning. Today started "Steph's 5 Days of Vegan Livin" and aside from a shitty veggie burger at Burger King, she has been happy with Day 1, though she did say, "I could go for a chicken right now." Blech. Anyway, she is trying and I love her for it! Wish us luck on both the house search and her ability to be meat-free for a little under a week. Will update yall when I have more info...even if this isn't a From SAD to RAW update, I thought some of you might be interested in just a 'what's happenin' update.

February 20, 2008

We're flying back to Arkansas today. We found a house in the community of Hampton Roads, Virginia. 4 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2 story, hardwood floors, 2100 sq ft., fenced back yard, 1 car garage and is located along the Elizabeth River, which I guess is an inlet of the Chesapeake Bay/Atlantic Ocean. Steph and I both start work on March 3rd. so we’re gonna be super busy in the next 9 days, getting our boxes and furniture loaded, transported by pods, and driving us and our 4 dogs 1,200 miles (20+ hour drive) from Fayetteville to Virginia, and getting unpacked and settled in ALL before the 3rd.  

I've been most proud of Steph during our 5 day trip. She has been 100% vegan and actually enjoyed it. She seems to want to find a chicken and chew off it's little leg, but I think she's really seeing how good eating vegan can taste AND feel. She hasn't complained off too much indigestion or headaches or just that sick feeling you have when you eat a meat meal. I might be a good influence on her yet! I'm not assuming she'll go vegan or even vegetarian but I'm staying hopeful!

As for my eating choices, I'm vegan, of course, but I'm not back to raw, by any means. I did, however, have a housemate (in the guesthouse we're staying in this week) who has an interest in raw, so we had a VERY lengthy discussion about it. He mentioned a handful of raw sites he'd explored (mine was not mentioned which disappointed me, but I guess didn't surprise me too much since I've not actually BEEN raw in several years), and we discussed the benefits. After sharing a non-raw restaurant meal with him and my partner, we went back to the guesthouse and I showed him my site. It was so sad to see how powerful the images of my transformation was, only to know he was looking at the person sitting next to him, and probably questioning why the hell I ever let raw go (since I've gained back 50 of the 100 pounds I lost). Oh well. I know that I have to get back to raw, and I know I have to WANT to be raw again, I just have to motivate myself to do it. I told Steph that once we get moved in and settled here in a few weeks, I'm going to start my journey back to high raw again (which for me will be 75% raw, 25% healthy, veggies cooked).

February 23, 2008

Thursday we packed the trailer of all of our belongings. Friday the trailer was picked up by ABF at 9:00 am. By noon, I was throwing up and having crazy diarrhea. I either a.) got food poisoning or b.) got a stomach virus, because I continued the vomiting and diarrhea until today around 6:00 pm. I feel great now, I guess cause the entire contents of my stomach and bowels have extricated themselves. Anyway, it was an unplanned 24-hour fast, with only 2 glasses of orange juice during that time, one of which was thrown up a few hours later. We were supposed to leave this morning for our 20+ hour drive to Virginia, but after me being sick, and then Steph seeming to come down with a bit of it herself, we decided we would leave tomorrow morning instead.

The book drawing is over, and the winner of the book, Raw Food, Real World by Matthew Kenney and Sarma MeIngailis, ($34.95 value), is Julie D. Thanks to those who participated in the drawing!

We'll be traveling for the next few days and not sure when internet will be up at our new place, so watch for an update sometime in the next week. I'll be moving back toward a heathlier, raw-er lifestyle, and working on Steph living a higher vegetarian life in the meantime.

March 8, 2008

It has been a whirlwind of a few weeks for us. We didn't leave Arkansas until Sunday the 24th because of my stomach flu. Then it ended up taking us 29 hours to get to Virginia (over a two day period) because we BOTH were suffering intensely from the flu and had to stop every couple of hundred miles to find a bathroom. (I gave it to her it appears.) It was awful, and we both agree it was the sickest we've ever been in our whole lives. We heard the flu has now been declared an epidemic in both Arkansas and Oklahoma, the two states we were in right before I got sick.

We finally got to our house in Virginia and scrambled for days, still sick and in a daze from exhaustion, to get the house cleaned and repaired before our furniture and boxes of belongings were to arrive Friday, February 29th. We then worked all weekend to get everything unloaded from the trailer and unpack as much as we could before we both started work Monday morning.

This week absolutely flew by as I worked my new job, crashing completely when I arrived home each evening. I am going to love the job itself, but I can see, and am slightly worried about how emotionally and mentally drained I am when I get home at night. The five days at work completely flew by in a haze, and I'm only up this morning out of sheer work-day ritual. The things I have seen, read and generally learned this week at my new job have equally appalled, saddened and angered me. The bottom line I'm already discovering is that there are some absolutely sick and disgusting humans in the world and early childhood education and intervention are a must, if we wish to live in a world of love and harmony among all creatures. (I am not going to use this particular site as a forum for advocating animal rights and welfare, but for those who have supported my journey to this new career, I thought I'd throw in a line about it.)

We've eaten fairly well, though there is the occasional unhealthy vegan meal when we've dined out. (Is dined a word? it sounds weird.) Oh and I must absolutely commend Stephanie for eating a 90% vegan diet since we've arrived. It may be out of default when we are home, because that is pretty much all that is in the house, but even when we are dining out she is ordering things she normally would not have chosen. I am so proud of my girl.

Anyway, this weekend we are going to continue working to unpack and get settled in cause we've discovered there is nothing worse than stumbling around boxes and trying to find a clean towel or a fresh set of contacts among the unpacked. It's also just mentally disturbing to me to have shit everywhere. I need order in my physical surroundings in order to maintain an orderly mind.

I'm finding that my blogs are less focused on my food intake than what's happening in my life. Sometimes I wonder if I should even keep this site, as my current raw life is completely non-existent. I feel strongly that resources available for those ready to do it is an important and motivating factor to keeping the site going, but since its inception in January of 2004, literally thousands of sites have emerged serving a similar purpose with creators who are far more accountable (and of course knowledgeable) than I. Anyway, something to ponder.

Hope all is well with you .

March 24, 2008

It's been three weeks since I started my new job. I go through so many emotions of being tired, stressed, angry, sad, apathetic, overwhelmed, and sometimes just confused at all the changes this job has brought about in my life. Steph and I have been taking some walks, some on the beach and some just in our neighborhood by the Elizabeth River. It helps. And now that our house is getting more unpacked and settled, I feel better at night when I get home from work. The anxiety of living amongst clutter was very hard for both of us. We are making better food choices, but I'm gonna have to get in gear to make major life changes in the area of food and exercise. We're going to join the YMCA in the next few weeks, so we can start working out for health and stress relief. I'm glad Steph's in a place to wanna exercise. It'll help me a lot.

Here's a link to a video tour of the house as it is now. We're loving it!

April 3, 2008

Life is settling down and we're settling in to our new home. Work? Well work is...interesting. Some days it's very calm, quiet, smooth. Other days it feels like I can't keep up. Every day I learn more and more reasons why I think people suck. People suck. And some times it's overwhelming knowing that for every one positive step I make, there are a hundred shitty assholes ready to fill the gap in animal cruelty.

One of my colleagues went raw Monday. It's so weird to work in an all vegan environment where going raw is actually something people talk about on a daily basis. I'll be in the kitchen at work and people will be discussing their raw gourmet dinner or their salad and fruit diet. I've known for a while that I was gonna have an issue with eating well with all the unbelievably delicious vegan fare here in Hampton Roads. I'm trying to make some better choices, though definitely not all. I made a nice salad for lunch a few days ago, and have been eating apples, clementines and bananas more often. Nuts, seeds and raisins are often a snack I have at work, but typically before or after a meal with some type of veggie or blue corn chips.

We keep talking about joining a gym, but it'll be another few weeks to a month before we can make that financial commitment.

Not much to report. I'm so tired at night, I just wanna veg out and watch "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "The Office."

May 10, 2008

I quit my job. If you know where I was working, you can probably figure out why.

I'm going to be making some changes to this website and figuring out what my next steps are. Stay tuned....

May 11, 2008

Today was a good day. I went to bed last night deciding that I was going to eat very healthy today. And I did it. See below...

- 6 spears celery with peanut butter
- half mango
- glass of unsweet iced tea
- 1 glass of water
- raw almonds, raisins
- dry roasted peanuts
- 2 small apples
- 1 small orange
- Wendy's side salad and plain baked potato, italian vinegarette dressing, 1 glass of water
- 1 teaspoon peanut butter
- cup of chopped pineapple (canned in its own juice)
- glass of unsweet iced tea
- cup of stove cooked frozen asian veggies with added dry roasted peanuts, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots with some Amy's vegan Thai coconut soup poured on top
- smoothie of almond milk, agave nectar, frozen strawberries, raspberry sorbet

May 13, 2008

Life is going great. So glad to be moving on to healthier, happier times in a different job. Have eaten pretty well and enjoyed some beach time on Sunday, even though it was raining. The ocean was amazing with the high winds. I could so easily live on the beach, well maybe a street or two over, as the idea of a hurricane hitting my house full on is quite frightening.

June 11, 2008

No update to my eating - still eating vegan, but not raw. But we've been exercising every day - walking the dogs, bicycling around Portsmouth, swimming in the ocean. Life's going well. Oh and I turned 34 on May 30th.

June 24, 2008

I've been exercising every single day and it feels so good. I live in Portsmouth and work in Norfolk, which is across the Elizabeth River. In order to get to my office, which is only 5 miles from my house, you have to drive through a tunnel, a tunnel which is sort of a "one way in, one way out" sorta thing. So imagine one city driving to another city through a tunnel, during rush hour. Yea, not fun. Soooo, in order to save time (it can take 45 minutes to go 5 miles), to save money (gas in a truck 5 days a week, to and from work, idling in ridiculous traffic), and to save my butt from getting any bigger, I ride my bike down to the Portside Landing (15 minute ride), lock my bike up, and ride the Hampton Roads Transit Ferry from Portsmouth to Norfolk and then walk to my office and up two flights of stairs (which takes another 7 or 8 minutes). In the afternoon, I turn around and do it again going home. So whether or not Steph and I bike ride or walk the dogs at night, I'm getting some exercise every single day. Oh and this past weekend we bought two bicycle trailers, the kind that people tote their kids around in....so of course we had to buy them for our "kids" - our four spoiled rotten dogs. Two in one trailer that Stephanie hauls, and two in another that I take. It's fricken adorable and actually really increases the resistance and weight while we are riding, which makes us sweat more than we have before.

June 30, 2008

Starting last night I decided to not eat after 8 pm. I know that I eat too late and eat a lot more since I'm eating food after my dinner. I already feel better!

July 2, 2008

I've accomplished not eating after 8 pm all but one evening since Sunday (tonight I had a handful of chips at 9 pm on the way home from the dog park). I've also had a salad for lunch the last three days at work. Both have helped me feel better about how I'm doing food-wise. I still have so so so many things to work on, but am taking it one thing at a time. I'm not putting pressure on myself. Just doing what I can and reporting what I do - both positive and not so positive. I've been relistening to The Secret and The Attractor Factor (Joe Vitale) at work, and that seems to be helping me - I have to remember to keep only positive thoughts in my head - not "I'm going to lose weight," but instead, "I'm healthy, fit and beautiful."

Happy early 4th of July!!!

PS Steph and I are about to ready to start socializing and building a network of friends in Hampton Roads (Virginia). If you happen to be a lesbian or have a lesbian friend/relative who lives around here, drop me a line and maybe we can get together.

July 5, 2008

Just wanted to respond to a reader who wrote me, but when I tried to respond to her email it bounced back as undeliverable - CC - congrats on your 8th day of vegan eating. Way to go! Since I've gone back to vegan eating I've never looked back, it's the most delicious dining out there! Best wishes and enjoy this new life!!

Love, Michelle

August 15, 2008

I need your help. I'm wanting to update my Raw Food Links and Books pages, but am quite certain the readers of From SAD to RAW are far more knowledgable as to what's out there now. If you have a great Raw Food website or book that is NOT on either of these pages, please send me the website link, book title/author, etc. so I can get them added. I won't guarantee they will be added - as I'll review each one to be sure it's in line with the From SAD to RAW site. I know there's a lot of knew things out there since I was really updating the site several years ago, and would like to ensure I'm still offering the most useful resources around.

August 31, 2008

Today I'm in a better place than I have been in a while. Last night I finally got fed up enough with my food choices over the last year and a half and decided to make a move back to healthy eating. I'm going to be less than "raw" but more than "vegan." I'd say I'll be living a 65-70% raw life again, with the 30-35% being very healthy cooked vegan - eliminating all vegan "crap" and "junk."

This afternoon, we went to the grocery store and stocked up on healthy foods. This is what our cart looked like:

3 pk romaine hearts
9 tomatoes
2 pounds of bananas
2 pounds green grapes (horribly tart, unedible - taking them back, waaaaaay underripe)
2 cantelopes
1 cucumber
2 pounds carrots
2 stalks celery
snack pack sized natural applesauce (unsweetened)
jar dry roasted, unsalted peanuts
jar of green olives
can of black olives
jar of kosher dill pickles
orange juice
pineapple juice
frozen corn, peas, green beans
bottle Apple Cider Vinegar (I use it to keep the fruit flies away)
and then Steph's stuff....she's choosing to eat differently than I am, and I respect her choice - because for one, she's not chosen to be a vegetarian and second, she doesn't seem to struggle with weight gain the way I do.

We're joining the YMCA on the 15th of the month, so we'll be having good workout routines, on top of the daily walking I do to the ferry (I used to ride my bike, but it was stolen one day when I was at work - we got it back after a week, but the kids who stole it destroyed it, and I'm not ready to get another one).

Today's food intake:

- bowl of cereal, raisins and almond milk, glas sof orange juice
- salad of romaine, carrots, cucumber, green olives, sunflower seeds, dried cranberries, italian dressing, glass of unsweet iced tea
- 1 celery spear with peanut butter
- another salad of the same, glass of unsweet iced tea
- another salad of the same, add cucumber, few drinks of iced tea
- cantelope
- bowl of steamed carrots, peas, corn, green beans, glass of unsweet iced tea

September 2, 2008

I'm doin' it. I've eaten very well the last few days. I didn't keep a great log for yesterday, but I think this about sums up yesterday's intake...

bowl of cereal (whole grain flakes), raisins, almond milk
orange juice
celery and peanut butter
cantelope
vegan Boca burger patty with lettuce, tomato, pickle and mustard (no bun)
Jason's Deli salad bar - lettuce, tomato, carrots, red bell pepper hummus, cucumber, green olives, raisins, walnuts, sunflower seeds, almonds, pepitas, italian dressing, unsweetened iced tea
orange juice
bowl of mixed veggies
1/2 bag popcorn (oil and salt only)

And here's today's intake...not a whole lot different from yesterday.

bowl of cereal, raisins, almond milk
water
celery and peanut butter
unsweetened iced tea
salad: lettuce, tomato, carrots, cucumber, green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, italian dressing
natural applesauce
unsweetened iced tea
cantelope
bag of popcorn (oil and salt only)
vegan Boca burger patty with lettuce, tomato, pickle and mustard (no bun)
unsweetened iced tea
celery and peanut butter
cantelope
orange juice

Walked to and from the boat today - 35 minutes each way.

I had two "struggles" today, if you can call them that. I didn't cave, but it wasn't the easiest part of my day. One, I had to smell Pizza Hut pizza wafting through the office from 11 am this morning until 7 pm tonight, when I got off of work. Yea, not fun. Two, I had to cook Steph's macaroni and cheese for dinner, while I simultaneously prepared my own dinner. It'll get easier. I'm already feeling better, so only more good things to come.

September 3, 2008

Another day trying to eat healthy among an office of my fast food, junk-food eating peers. Another successful day. At work, they provided pizza and chips yesterday, Subway sandwiches, chips and sodas, along with cookies today, and tomorrow I hear they are providing us with chicken and chips (we're swamped at work, and working short lunches and overtime to catch up). Clearly I don't eat most of those things, so I brought them all home to Steph to enjoy.

Feeling really good. I have lots of energy, am focused, and my body is definitely responding. My jeans fit more loose today...and that's an accomplishment in itself.

Food intake:
- bowl of cereal with almond milk, several swigs of orange juice
- celery and peanut butter
- salad - romaine, tomato, cucumber, celery, sunflower seeds, raisins, pretzels, Italian dressing
- cantelope
- natural applesauce
- vegan Boca burger patty with lettuce, tomato, pickle and mustard (no bun)
- bottle of orange juice
- snacks of celery and peanut butter, pecans, banana with peanut butter and "just like honey" rice nectar
- glass of orange juice
- unsweetened iced tea throughout the day

Exercise: Walked to and from the ferry to work (35 min each way)

September 5, 2008

I could probably copy and paste most days of eating because I tend to eat the same things over and over. I'm not lazy, I just am a creature of habit and like to eat the same things over and over. My clothes are fitting more loose and I'm feeling like I'm losing weight.

Here's a symbol of my strength. I made Steph Taco Salad last night, my absolute favorite recipe in the whole world. I made it vegetarian for her, instead of my typically vegan version. That smell. Holy hell, nothing in this world tempts me like my Taco Salad. But I made it for her, then ate my healthy dinner. Later, we decided to go to Food Lion (grocery store), so we could both get something "sweet." I was going to look for some special kind of fruit, to treat myself. Steph was going to get ice cream or cake. Yes, we're in different eating places, and that's ok. It's actually helping build my strength in knowing I want to eat healthy, be thin, etc. Yes, it's hard. Yes, I wish she was in the same place. But we all have to find our way on our own terms. Anyway, because of Tropical Storm Hanna and Hurricane Ike right behind her, the aisles were empty, not so much as a banana, peach or strawberry on the shelves. And it wasn't only the produce department that got hit. Every aisle in the store was barren. I had to be proud of the people of Portsmouth (not known for being extraordinarily healthy eaters), for stocking up on fruits and veggies for the impending storm. So, knowing I was also out of cereal, I hit the cereal aisle, being restocked at that very moment. Of course, cereal in a typical grocery store, is typically all "high fructose corn syrup," so after some detail searching, I finally found Shredded Wheat, which doesn't have anything but wheat in it. That was my "treat." And it actually worked. I added raisins, pecans and agave nectar and it was like having dessert, but a healthy one.

Food intake:

- bowl of Special K with red berries cereal, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- celery with peanut butter
- pecans
- salad: romaine, tomato, green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, pretzels, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- natural applesauce
- celery and peanut butter
- orange juice
- small apple
- 2 tortillas, guacamole with cilantro and tomatoes, lettuce, leftover "chicken" pieces
- unsweet iced tea
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, raisins, pecans, agave nectar, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- bowl of popcorn

Exercise: walked to the ferry (40 minutes), didn't walk home because it was raining (Steph picked me up)

September 6, 2008

The word of the day is "Challenge." And I made it through with flying colors.

We went to a birthday party this afternoon at 4:00 pm. The person hosting the party is new to veganism, and before I started eating healthy again, we would gleefully discuss vegan recipes and recipe alterations. She did all the cooking for the party today and was so proud that 4 out of 5 of the dishes she prepared were vegan. I hated to do it, but I had her escort me in the kitchen through the various dishes, to see which I could actually eat and not divert from my healthy eating path. I ended up having coleslaw (lime and olive oil), potato salad (olive oil, dijon mustard), and grilled portabello mushrooms (Annie's Goddess Dressing). I passed, of course, on the real bbq sandwiches (brought for the meateaters), and the red velvet cake (made from scratch with a toffutti cream cheese icing). I had seconds, and probably shouldn't have, cause my stomach was reeling the rest of the night. I think it was way too many ingredients after the last week of more simple eating.

Then they brought out the cake. Oh man, it looked really good...vegan cream cheese icing. Holy hell. But I was not about to let my hard work go down the drain. And when the host leaned over and whispered, "Michelle, I made this especially for YOU" (since we are the only two vegans in our group of friends), I felt like an ass for having to firmly but politely say no. I explained that for me, one piece, even one bite of the cake would mean a complete melt down later. It would lead to my eating another piece of cake, or going to buy something else, or eating out something I know I "shouldn't." It would basically end my accomplishments so far and probably any that I would have in the future . I'm an all or nothing person. I eat healthy, or I eat shit. Period. I know myself and must be strong enough for myself and firm enough to others so that I don't fall.

Aside from the food, throughout the evening at the party, and then later at a bar, I was reminded how difficult it is to be a sober person surrounded by drinkers. Food, drinking, smoking...so many things to contend with.

Food Intake:

- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- celery and peanut butter
- pineapple juice
- two tortillas, vegan Boca patty, guacamole, lettuce
- unsweet iced tea
- vegan coleslaw, vegan potato salad, grilled portabello mushrooms
- 2 bottles of water
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- 1/2 celery spear and peanut butter

Exercise: none

September 7, 2008

I don't want to get in to the habit of feeling I have to journal every single day, but each day I have things I want to say, or remember. So, just a word for the future, I might not always journal every day, but for now it feels right. Anyway...

Didn't wake up today until 1:00 pm, so half the day was gone by the time I got up and around. I really hate that feeling, but we were up til after 2 am, and I haven't done that in a while. Had my standard bowl of cereal, then later had a veggie patty in 3 tortillas. The third tortilla was clearly too much "bread" for me, cause I felt ill for a bit afterwards. I was so tired, I laid around the rest of the afternoon and then we decided to go to the Commodore, a dinner theater in historic downtown Portsmouth to see "Mamma Mia." Wow, what an amazing place, what an amazing movie, what an amazing date night. We had an incredible night, and while the vegan options on the menu were less than desirable (to which I will certainly be offering suggestions to the management), it was all worth it.

So, I was unsure if and how I wanted to share this information I learned about today. Viktoras Kulvinskas, the Father of the raw foods movement, sent out an email with information about an interview he did on Friday with John Stossel of ABC's 20/20. The interview, Victoras thought, was to be about the raw foods movement. Apparenlty, instead, it was John's way of exploring the varieties of people with orthorexia, some of whom turned to raw foods and their disease worsened, "as a result." The letter is below, in case you want to share your experience or opinion with 20/20. I didn't respond to Viktoras, because I am not a believer in his 100% raw teachings, and believe that some people probably do go too far and harm themselves in their search for "health." I did send a comment to 20/20 letting them know my thoughts on the interview (I didn't get to see the interview, but did find this link on their website, to which I responded, and interestingly they did NOT post in the comments section). My comment essentially said that yes, there are raw foodists who are "purists," who go too far, who obsess over eating pure, raw, and often fat-free. I went on to say that there are people whose lives have been saved from implementing the general principles of a high raw, healthy vegan cooked diet, and that I was one of them. I expressed that one-sided, biased journalism such as John Stossels does a dis-service to those who need help and are seeking a healthy change. I think Viktoras is a good man and he was the first lecture I ever went to to learn about raw foodism. But from the first half hour of the all-day workshop more than 4 years ago, I knew that most of what he taught would go in one ear and out the other for me. I didn't follow his path and life choices, and never would. But I know he has helped many people, and for that I commend him. It's the responsibility of each individual to "take what you need, and leave the rest."

Viktoras' email below:

"Dear Raw Food Friends,

On Saturday, September 5th,  Viktoras  appeared on national television on ABC's "20/20" where he was interviewed by journalist John Stosell.

Unbeknownst to Viktoras, it was Mr. Stosell's intent to discredit the raw foods diet and to challenge the time honored principles of health which Viktoras has established over the forty years of his renowned healing ministry.  In a very real sense Mr. Stosell appeared to be blaming the raw diet for the eating disorders which sometimes occur in various individuals.

The content of the show highlighted people who are suffering from what is now being described by physicians as "orthorexia".  Many of the people suffering from this disease turned to the raw foods diet in an attempt to alleviate the symptoms of  their severe emotional and physical ailment.  Many of them were not successful in implementing the health principles which Viktoras has worked so hard to establish.

The interview demonstrated Mr. Stosell's negative bias against and one-sided approach toward the raw foods diet and the health technologies established by Viktoras and the late Dr. Ann Wigmore . Indeed, we do not think it an exaggeration or overstatement to say that Mr. Stosell "ambushed" Viktoras in a national venue. Further, this hard-core journalist did stoop to a rather underhanded personal attack on the Viktoras who we love and who has inspired and helped us all for so long.

As we all know, these principles are widely and successfully practiced at many leading natural health institutes worldwide. When rightly practiced, Viktoras' principles have cured cancer, diabetes, HIV/Aids, and many of the other diseases which plague humankind. They have been a boon to the lives of so many many. Mr. Stosell's interview with Viktoras did not elaborate at all on these positive points which we know to be true. It was apparent that he wanted to discredit Viktoras and the health choices which so many of us have made to our benefit.

We would like to request that you review the blog which ABC has established for commentary on this interview.  We would like to suggest specifically that you share there your positive experiences with the Raw Foods Health Principles.  Here is the web address:
http://www.abcnews.go.com/Health/Stossel/comments?type=story&id=5735592

Additionally, we request that you contact the editors at ABC to urge them to broadcast the evidence of the positive experiences and cures associated with Viktoras' health knowledge and also to complain about their public treatment of Viktoras and his teachings. Here is the web address:
http://abcnews.go.com/Site/page?id=3072379

If possible, please forward this edition of our RAW ENEWSLETTER to interested persons on your email list who may wish to participate in this write-in campaign to ABC News in defense of Viktoras and the truths about health and healing which he has so successfully shared with us over many decades.

Thank you.
Your friends at Raw Enewsletter"

Food Intake:
- 1 celery spear and peanut butter, banana
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- 3 tortillas, one veggie burger patty, lettuce, guacamole with cilantro and tomatoes
- unsweet iced tea
- Commodore Theater: side salad of iceberg, cherry tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, cabbage, my own Italian dressing, baked potato with salt, pepper, A1 sauce, unsweet iced tea, plain popcorn
- snacks: apple, raisins, dry roasted/unsalted peanuts, orange juice, two packets of plain grits, unsweet iced tea

Exercise: none

September 8, 2008

Let's see. Some random thoughts for the day.

I listened to an excerpt of Skinny Bitch (downloaded free from Itunes) on my walk to work today and almost started crying when the 17 minutes were over. I must have the full version on audiobook immediately. I can already tell just 17 minutes in that these two chicks are doin' it right, and are having a great time using curse words to convey their points. I giggled each time I heard "ass" or "bitch" or "fuck" (I think I heard that one).

Food smells suck. I can smell french fries from 3.7 miles away. I can tell which way the wind is blowing from the Pizza Hut down the road. And even meaty, disgusting KFC calls to me with what I'm sure is an industrial strength fan blowing directly on the finger-lickin-goodness straight into the streets of Portsmouth. It is so beyond wrong to be choosing to eat healthy, while the world around me gorges on the "good" shit, and insists on shoving it in my face.

I'm in that middle ground where I'm eating enough cooked that I'm not raw, and eating enough raw that I'm not cooked. In addition, I'm thinking back over years of raw gourmet recipes and how good some of them were, and wondering if I actually want to dip my toes back into creating some of those dishes. The idea of it overwhelms me, because I'll have to do some shopping again for things I gave away or sold in years past, when I stopped living a raw lifestyle. I have the Vita-Mix and Champion juicer, but I dont have my Excalibur dehydrator anymore, or the Spiral Slicer (great for raw ravioli, my absolute favorite raw entree). The Spiral Slicer is a hell of a lot less financial and space commitment than the dehydrator, even given the fact that I'm a distributor for the Excalibur. We'll see how it goes.

PS Lost a pound.

Food Intake:
- orange juice
- water
- 2 small apples and peanut butter
- salad: romaine, tomato, cucumber, green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- red grapes
- banana and peanut butter
- 2 tortillas, Boca veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice
- bag of popcorn ("old fashioned natural")
- pineapple juice

Exercise: two 40 minute walks (to and from the ferry)

September 9, 2008

Quick update, food and exercise only. Working crazy overtime this week and am exhausted...

Food Intake:
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, agave nectar, almond milk
- orange juice
- water
- banana and celery and peanut butter (not all together, that's just gross)
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice
- salad: romaine, carrots, tomatoes, green bell pepper, black olives, cucumber, raisins, sunflower seeds, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- small apple
- 2 tortillas, Boca veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard
- water
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, agave nectar, almond milk

Exercise: two 40 minute walks (to and from the ferry)

September 10, 2008

Another quick update. Looking back on yesterday, it was one of my toughest "crave" days. I'm glad I made it through, but the brand new, unopened bag of vegan Doritos (Sweet and Spicy Chile) has been calling my name.

Food Intake:
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, agave nectar, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- coffee (yea, I was that tired) with splenda and non-dairy powdered creamer (drank half the cup, ew)
- dry roasted unsalted peanuts
- banana
- salad: romaine, tomato, cucumber, green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, pretzels, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- celery and peanut butter
- orange juice
- 2 tortillas, Boca veggie patty, lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, pecans, raisins, agave nectar, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea

Exercise: none; rained today so didn't walk to or from work

September 11, 2008

Food Intake:
- banana
- unsweet iced tea
- celery and peanut butter
- small apple
- salad: romaine, tomato, green bell pepper, carrots, black and green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, pretzels, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- banana and peanut butter
- Jason's Deli - salad bar - romaine, tomato, red bell pepper, carrots, cucumber, red bell pepper hummus, raspberry vinegarette (first plate), french dressing (second plate), raisins, pepitas, walnuts, dried cranberries, slivered blanched almonds, chopped almonds
- unsweet iced tea

No exercise today.

September 12, 2008

Food Intake:
- bowl Shredded Wheat, raisins, pecans, agave nectar, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- celery and peanut butter
- red grapes
- salad: romaine, tomato, pecans, dried cranberries, pretzels, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice
- pineapple juice
- Mi Hogar - 3 tortillas, lettuce, tomato, guacamole, salsa, and chips (yes, I said chips - decided when I started that once I month - I'm three weeks in - I'd let myself go out and eat something not on my diet - tonight was it...but oddly, the chips were waaaaaaaay too salty)

No exercise today.

September 13, 2008

Food Intake:
- bowl Shredded Wheat, raisins, pecans, agave nectar, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- 1/4 bag popcorn (Act II old fashioned natural) - shared with co-workers
- orange juice
- 3 tortillas, guacamole, lettuce, tomato, few leftover chips from last night crunched up in the tortillas
- unsweet iced tea
- 1 tortilla, veggie patty, lettuce, pickle, ketchup, mustard
- unsweet iced tea
- Kelly's Tavern - veggie burger wrap with lettuce tomato, pickle, mustard, plain baked potato with A1 sauce
- unsweet iced tea

No exercise today.

September 14, 2008

I've been watching a slew of obesity, diet, and other weight related medical shows on Discovery Health the last few weeks. It's all so good to see other people who struggle with food issues, and always a huge awakening for me to see people in such bad shape due to eating addictions. What an epidemic this country is being faced with.

Food Intake:
- bowl Shredded Wheat, raisins, pecans, agave nectar, almond milk
- unsweet iced tea
- apple and peanut butter
- 3 tortillas, cooked onions and green bell peppers, guacamole with tomatoes and cilantro, lettuce, tomato
- unsweet iced tea
- swig of orange juice
- 1/2 spear celery
- few pecans
- bag of popcorn (Act II old fashioned natural)
- unsweet iced tea
- shake - almond milk, frozen banana, pecans, almond extract, vanilla extract, agave nectar (so good, like butter pecan ice cream)

Exercise:
30 minute walk with the dogs.

September 15, 2008

Food Intake:
- banana
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice
- pecans
- water
- celery and peanut butter
- salad: romaine, tomatoes, cucumbers, green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, pretzels, Annie's Goddess Dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- pecans
- banana
- 1/2 bag "old fashioned natural" popcorn
- 3 tortillas, cooked onions and green bell peppers, veggie patty, guacamole with tomatoes and cilantro, lettuce
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice

Exercise:
- two 40 minute walks (to and from ferry).

September 16, 2008

I ate non-vegan food at dinner - cheesy and creamy. I don't have any excuse, because the chef could have prepared a truly vegan meal for me. I just chose not to eat that way. I chose to have him make the green beans and asparagus without butter, and asked him to not put gravy on the mashed potatoes, but otherwise, I didn't choose healthy. Normally when I eat "crap," I immediately say, "that was so not worth it." This, on the other hand, wasn't like that. The quality and style of this food was so phenomenal, and I enjoyed it immensely. And now I'm right back on that horse, back to eating healthy.

Food Intake:
- water
- unsweet iced tea
- banana, pecans
- orange juice
- pecans
- natural apple sauce
- salad: romaine, tomato, green bell pepper, carrots, black olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, Italian dressing
- unsweet iced tea
- unsalted, dry roasted peanuts
- sunflower seeds
- Comfort Restaurant: steamed asparagus, steamed green beans, mashed potatoes (not vegan), squash casserole (not vegan), sourdough bread, cornbread and butter (not vegan), unsweet iced tea

Exercise:
- 40 minute walk (to ferry).

September 17, 2008

We joined the YMCA tonight and had our first workout. God, I've missed it.

Food Intake:
- 2 pieces of Ezekial toast with natural fruit spread
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice
- pecans
- sunflower seeds
- celery and peanut butter
- 1/4 bag "old fashioned natural" popcorn
- water
- salad: romaine, cherry tomatoes, green bell pepper, carrots, black olives, french dressing, raisins, sunflower seeds
- unsweet iced tea
- 2 tortillas, veggie burger patty, guacamole, cooked green bell peppers and onions, lettuce, tomatoes
- unsweet iced tea

Exercise:
YMCA workout - 20 minutes on elyptical, 2 sets of 10 reps on 4 different arm machines, 10 minutes in the sauna

September 18, 2008

Food Intake:
- 2 pieces Ezekial toast with fruit spread (peanut butter on 1 piece)
- unsweet iced tea
- coffee with splenda and non-dairy creamer
- dry roasted, unsalted peanuts
- water
- few sunflower seeds and pretzels
- "riblets" (vegan bbq ribs), steamed mixed veggies
- water
- celery and peanut butter
- unsweet iced tea
- red grapes
- bag of popcorn
- water
- bowl of Shredded Wheat, raisins and almond milk
- 2 pieces Ezekial toast with peanut butter and fruit spread
- unsweet iced tea
- bag of popcorn

Exercise:
YMCA: 20 minutes elyptical, 20 minutes treadmill walking with some spurts of jogging, a few sets of crunches on the exercise ball, 10 minutes in the sauna

September 19, 2008

Food Intake:
- 2 pieces Ezekial toast with peanut butter and fruit spread
- unsweet iced tea
- 2 pieces Ezekial toast with peanut butter and fruit spread
- orange juice
- salad: romaine, tomato, green bell pepper, carrots, black olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, french dressing, pretzels
- unsweet iced tea
- Red Robin: garden burger and fries, unsweet iced tea

Exercise:
None

September 20, 2008

What can I say? It's been a bad couple of eating days.

Food Intake:
- 2 pieces Ezekial toast with peanut butter and fruit spread
- unsweet iced tea
- orange juice
- "riblets" and steamed corn
- unsweet iced tea
- "chicken" sandwich - boca chicken patty on ezekial toast with lettuce, tomato, pickle and veganaisse
- unsweet iced tea
- taco salad: vegan Doritos, "crumbles", cheese (mix of cheddar and tofutti monterey jack), romaine, ranch with cilantro, chili powder and cumin
- unsweet iced tea

Exercise:
None

September 28, 2008

I'm not doing much during the week other than work and sleep. This weekend was busier than most - Friday night we went to a local women's bar with some friends. Yesterday we went to the beach to the Neptune Boardwalk Festival, where we walked the boardwalk visiting art booths, listening to music, and checking out the sandscupting competition. Today we lounged around until late afternoon and then went down to the beach with the dogs to walk and pick up driftwood, shells and seaglass for our art projects.

I've really struggled with my eating choices - the mornings and days are fine, eating salads, celery, bananas, seeds, etc...but the evenings I haven't done well. Steph actually said today she wants to eat the food we have left in the house and then go high raw with me next week. I am estactic and can hardly believe it. I'm thrilled, since trying to eat healthy alone is extremely isolating and difficult for me.

Will check in when I can. I'm just so exhausted during the week with all the overtime I'm working, that the last thing I wanna do when I get home is get back on the computer.

October 4, 2008

Steph decided to do this with me. We started this morning. We weighed (bought a new digital scale last night), took our measurements (bought a tape measure last night too), and went shopping at Trader Joe's to stock up. Before she even woke up this morning, I had cleaned out the kitchen of all "off limits" foods and scrubbed the fridge down to get ready to fill it up with good foods.

We ate incredible all day and given that it was her first day EVER eating a high raw diet, she did phenomenally well. Tonight she's struggling, wanting ice cream, so I went in and whipped up a variety of large raw chocolate candy bars (one with sliced, blanched almonds, one with pecans, two with peanuts and two with nothing but the chocolate). Thankfully she enjoyed them and I'm hopeful it helped her through her first struggle. She has a headache tonight and is very tired, which I told her are symptoms of the detox process.

So, I guess it's time for me to pull that picture of me down. I don't look like that now, having gained 70 pounds since that picture. Yea, it's about time I face the fact that being vegetarian and vegan are just not enough for me. They never will be. I'm not one of those people who can go off the high raw lifestyle and keep the weight off. So, back to the basics. And now that I have Steph to support me by actually getting on board, I know we can do it. Oh the other thing I did today was create a weight loss chart for both Steph and me. It's like a table with 7 columns and 15 or so rows. In the first column is my starting weight, in each subsequent column is that weight less 1 pound, all the way until I get to my ultimate goal weight of 185. This is what we stocked the kitchen with today:

Trader Joe's: frozen edamame, frozen asparagus spears, frozen wax bean/green bean/carrot mix, frozen mango, frozen artichoke hearts, frozen asian vegetable blend, frozen asian vegetable stir fry, frozen french green beans, raw cashews, roasted/non-salted peanuts, raw pine nuts, roasted non-salted sunflower seeds, walnuts, dry toasted slivered almonds, dried unsweetened mango slices, pecans, brazil nuts, freeze dried banana chips, freeze dried mango, unsweetened applesauce, raw creamy almond butter, raw crunchy almond butter, dried dragon fruit (SO disgusting we are returning it, blech - they should advertise it as jalepeno poppyseed chew sticks), canned garbanzo beans, coarse unrefined sea salt, multiple flavors of fruit leathers (discovered that gooseberry is yucky), Ezekial bread (original), Ezekial bread (cinnamon raisin)

WalMart: bananas, cantelope, sweet potatoes, russett potatoes, baby red potatoes, pack of romaine hearts, lemons, cucumber, mushrooms, cilantro, yellow squash, green onions, oranges, gala apples, tomatoes, orange juice, green olives, polaner strawberry all fruit spread

Here's what our kitchen looks like now. Click the image to see enlarged version.




And our fridge and freezer.


Here's what we had for dinner, and the cantelope I cut up afterwards.


Food Intake:
- smoothie - frozen banana, frozen strawberries, almond milk
- salad: romaine, tomatoes, celery, carrots, green olives, sunflower seeds, raisins, Italian dressing
- unsweetened iced tea
- fruit leather, cashews, brazil nuts, freeze dried banana chips, freeze dried mango, dried mango
- 2 pieces cinnamon raisin Ezekial toast with almond butter on one piece and "just like honey" on both
- unsweetened iced tea
- salad: romaine, tomatoes, celery, carrots, cucumber, green olives, black olives, toasted slivered almonds, dried cranberries, Italian dressing
- baked potato (rubbed with olive oil and sea salt), green onions, A1 sauce, steamed wax beans, green beans, carrots
- unsweetened iced tea
- banana with almond butter, honey and pecans

Exercise: short walk with the dogs

Michelle's weight: 278.2
Michelle's measurements:
Neck: 16 1/2"
Arm: 18"
Bust: 54"
Stomach: 53"
Thigh: 29 1/2"

Steph's weight: 219.8
Steph's measurements:
Neck: 16 1/2"
Arm: 16 3/4"
Bust: 48 1/2"
Stomach: 45"
Thigh: 29"

October 5, 2008

We are both extremely tired today. I slept in until 11 am, and she slept in til nearly 1 pm. And since we got up, we've done very little, other than a load of laundry and making some marinated mushrooms (sweet and sour ginger dressing version) to go with dinner tonight, I've laid on the couch watching tv all day. I can barely keep my eyes open and that's super hard for someone like me, who likes to get alot done on the weekend. I told Steph that this is all a part of the detox, and it will pass soon and be replaced with wonderful feelings and weight loss. She also told me she's depressed, and she didn't expect that. We discussed how the loss of eating shit food is like grieving, and trying to find new pleasure in life. And how it's also a part of the detox. Headaches, fatigue, depression, gas and diarreah are all normal side effects, which will soon be replaced with high energy, weight loss and feelings of intense happiness. The pains currently aching our feet, knees and back will go away before we know it.

Food Intake:
- banana with cashews, blanched slivered almonds, pecans, almond butter, honey
- unsweetened iced tea
- salad: romaine, tomatoes, celery, carrots, cucumber, green olives, black olives, toasted slivered almonds, dried cranberries, Italian dressing
- water
- raw chocolate candy bar with toasted slivered almonds, slice of dried unsweetened mango
- mixed nuts
- unsweetened iced tea
- swig of orange juice, piece of dried unsweetened mango, piece of freeze dried banana chip, piece of freeze dried mango
- steamed baby red potatoes with rosemary herbs, marinated mushrooms (heated in a skillet), steamed corn
- unsweetened iced tea

Dinner tonight.... click image to see enlarged version


Exercise: none

October 6, 2008

Steph wasn't crazy about the sweetness in the marinated mushrooms, so I bought a package of baby portabellas and sauteed them on the stove with a ridiculous assortment of sauces - A1, Tamari Soy Sauce, Apple Cider Vinegar, olive oil, Basil, Cayenne - I have no idea, don't ask. Anyway, not sure if it was the disgusting array or the fact that the mushrooms had an odd fishy smell when I opened the package, but right after dinner, my stomach became tied up in knots and I went and threw up a bowlful of blackened mushrooms and bloody bile. Ugh. It was horrible.

Food Intake:
2 pieces Ezekial Cinnamon Raisin toast with almond butter and honey
- unsweetened iced tea
- banana
- unsweetened iced tea
- mixed nuts/seeds
- strawberry fruit leather
- salad: romaine, tomatoes, celery, cucumber, carrots, green and black olives, Italian dressing, mixed seeds, nuts, raisins
- unsweetened iced tea
- orange juice
- raw chocolate candy bar
- orange
- mixed nuts
- orange juice
- unsweetened iced tea
- leftover potatoes, green/wax beans, carrots
- sauteed mushrooms, steamed asparagus
- unsweetened iced tea
- water

Exercise: walked home from ferry - 35 minutes

October 7, 2008

Food Intake:
- cantelope
- water
- mixed nuts
- unsweetened iced tea
- salad: romaine, tomatoes, carrots, celery, mixed nuts, seeds, raisins, Italian dressing
- unsweetened iced tea
- piece raw chocolate candy bar
- orange juice
- big handful raw cashews
- unsweetened iced tea
- steamed russett potatoes with celtic sea salt, steamed corn, veggie burger patty only with pickle and mustard
- orange juice

Exercise:
walked to and from ferry (35 min each way)

October 8, 2008

Food Intake:
- cantelope
- water
- mixed nuts
- unsweetened iced tea
- 1/2 banana
- orange juice
- fruit salad - pineapple, grapes, cantelope
- unsweetened iced tea
- veggie burger patty (vegan), Ezekial toast, lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustrard
- steamed russet potatoes, Celtic sea salt
- steamed green beans
- water
- unsweetened iced tea
- smoothie: bananas, strawberries, almond milk
- cinnamon raisin Ezekial toast, almond butter, honey

Exercise:
walked home from ferry (40 minutes)

October 9, 2008

Started my period today. Hope that doesn't impact the glorious first weigh in on Saturday.

Food Intake:
- water
- 2 pieces Cinnamon Raisin Ezekial toast
- mixed nuts
- unsweetened iced tea
- several swigs of orange juice
- apple wildberry fruit leather
- apple
- banana
- orange juice
- unsweetened iced tea
- mixed nuts
- Olive Garden: salad with tomatoes, black olives, Italian dressing; several bowls of minestrone (mostly broth)
- unsweetened iced tea
- 2 pieces Cinnamon Raisin Ezekial toast, almond butter, honey

Exercise:
walked to the ferry and half way home from the ferry (60 minutes total)

October 10, 2008

We bought an air popcorn popper tonight at Wal-Mart ($19.94). Each week we're gonna try to buy an appliance to make our healthy lifestyle easier. I need another Spiral Slicer to make raw ravioli, an electric ice cream freezer to make raw ice cream (cause like Annette, I'm not about to spend $100 to have some gourmet raw ice cream - as good as it might be - shipped to my front door), another Excalibur dehydrator to make cookies and chips, more cookbooks - ones with photos of the recipes are my favorite as you probably can tell by my recipe section and the photo demos I've done in the past, a food processor, cause my VitaMix is just too powerful when I just want to dice and chop fruits or veggies, and countless other things I've missed the last few years.

Food Intake:
- 2 pieces Cinnamon Raisin Ezekial toast
- orange juice
- water
- unsweetened iced tea
- orange juice
- 2 pieces Cinnamon Raisin Ezekial toast
- mixed nuts
- Jason's Deli: salad bar - romaine, red bell pepper, cucumber, green olives, mixed nuts, raisins, country french dressing, carrots, red bell pepper hummus, organic apple slices
- unsweetened iced tea
- air popped popcorn with celtic sea salt and spritzed olive oil
- gooseberry fruit leather

Exercise:
walked to the ferry, walked half way home from the ferry (60 minutes total)

October 11, 2008

We weighed today. That scale can not be right. It shows Steph lost one pound and that I lost 2 pounds. Not possible. We've changed our entire eating habits, completely, radically. Poor Steph. She is SO discouraged, so I had to spend the whole day convincing her that either the scale was wrong or that she'd lose a ton next week. She basically said, I will give this a month and if I haven't lost weight I'm going back to my regular eating. Thank god she said a month. In a month, she'll be an entirely different person. I know from experience that this works, and it works amazingly. I can't remember, but now that I'm thinking about it, I kinda think the first week WAS disappointing (way back in 04 when I did this the first time). I think by the second week I had lost a lot. And by a month I had lost 19 pounds. So I'm praying and hoping that the same thing will happen to Steph. Cause she's doing SO good and I want it to work. I want it to work for her, not only for her health and happiness but for mine. Her being on this journey with me will help me stay on it. It's SO hard to do alone. If I had to do it alone the first time, when I was with Boni, I would never have done it. So I know from experience that having a partner not only support this choice, but do it with you, ups your chances of making by like a million - I'm very scientifically certain of it, haha.

Today we went to our pathetic little health food store and bought some nutritional yeast, a box of Ezekial Almond "grape nuts" cereal, a pack of dry roasted spicy pumpkin seeds for Steph, a can of Amy's chunky vegetable soup, and a cup of San-J miso soup for us to have for lunch. I'm so over the prices at this place. I miss Ozark Natural Foods, and although I really can't believe I'm saying that, it's true. I thought they were expensive, but they are like Wal-Mart compared to the places out here. Between Farm Fresh (local grocer) and Organic Food Depot, some of the prices are $5.99 for a small jar of MaraNatha raw agave nectar; $6.19 for a box of the Ezekial Cinnamon Raisin "grape nuts" cereal; $3.19-$3.74 a can for Amy's soups; $0.75 a piece for fruit leathers; $5.75 for a tiny bag of raw cashew pieces; $5.99 for a loaf of Ezekial bread. It's ridiculous. No wonder people eat crap, it's a helluva lot cheaper, and easier to find. I really wish Trader Joe's was closer to us. We'll end up going every other week, cause we have to drive from Portsmouth to Hampton, which although it's a beautiful drive over the Chesapeake Bay, it's a 45 minute drive each way. That's ridiculous to have to drive so far to get the basics for our daily eating.

Food Intake:
- smoothie: bananas, blueberries, strawberries, almond milk (it was my best smoothie so far)
- 2 pieces cinnamon raisin Ezekial toast with almond butter and honey
- unsweetened iced tea
- cup of San-J miso soup (ugh, I realize San-J makes tamari, but does EVERYthing have to taste like it?) - added some of Steph's Amy's vegetable soup to it, 2 pieces of Jason's organic pumpkin seed flatbread crackers (oh my god, those are the bomb for someone trying to eat right)
- several handfuls pecans
- swig of orange juice
- glass of non-pasteurized apple juice
- another piece of Jason's flatbread cracker (so addicted - we took a bunch from the buffet when we were there the other day)
- veggie (vegan) burger patty on Ezekial toast with lettuce, tomato, pickle, mustard
- steamed red potatoes with Celtic sea salt, ketchup
- unsweetened iced tea
- air popped popcorn with salt and nutritional yeast

Exercise:
Moving furniture and cleaning

Michelle's Weight: 276.8
Michelle's measurements:
Neck: 18" (up 1 1/2" - though not sure how that's possible)
Arm: 17" (down 1")
Bust: 53 3/4" (down 1/4")
Stomach: 52" (down 1")
Thigh: 29" (down 1/2")

Stephanie's Weight: 218.6
Stephanie's Measurements:
Neck: 16 1/2" (no change)
Arm: 17" (up 1/4")
Bust: 48 1/2" (no change)
Stomach: 44 1/2" (down 1/2")
Thigh: 27 1/4" (down 1 3/4")

October 13, 2008

I can't keep journaling what I ate, cause I honestly can't remember. I eat all day long, every time I walk through the kitchen. I dip my hand in the pecan jar, the freeze-dried banana bag, the tupperware container in the freezer of raw chocolate candy, the bowl of hummus in the fridge. So I'll just write out all the things I can remember eating, without portions.

Food Intake:
- apple, clementine, banana, raisins, pecans
- Ezekial toast with garlic hummus
- dried mango pieces
- pecans, sliced blanched almonds
- salad: romaine, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes, sliced blanced almonds, raisins, Annie's Goddess Dressing
- potatoes with celtic sea salt, ketchup, mixed vegetables of corn, carrots and asparagus
- homemade vegetable soup
- unsweetened iced tea
- orange juice
- Ezekial toast with cilantro hummus and sliced tomatoes
- air popped popcorn with nutritional yeast, sea salt
- raw chocolate candy

PS I can not stop eating. I'm just eating and eating and eating. I can't get full. I can't get satisfied.

October 16, 2008

Yesterday we were having a hard time, both of us wanting to eat bad. I wanted Mexican. She wanted a burger. We decided to go to Moe's Southwest Grill cause we had heard you could get some healthy vegan food there. We both got the same thing - the Homewrecker burrito except instead of meat we got tofu, and instead of sour cream and cheese, we got lettuce, guacamole, a little rice, and she got sauteed mushrooms and I got pico and black olives. We nixed the chips and both got iced teas. Would you believe our total was $20? We were MORE than a little shocked by that ridiculous price for "fast" food, even if it is somewhat fresh. They were very good, but the pico de gallo about killed me - it was so fricken hot I pretty much scarfed it down.

Tonight we ended up going out to dinner after picking up some groceries. We went to Ruby Tuesdays so Steph could get a potato and mushrooms and I could get a veggie burger in a wrap with a baked potato. The service sucked, the entire meal the way we ordered it was wrong, which shit if that doesn't put me in the worst mood. I've never been a waitress, and believe me, there's a reason for that. But if I was....IF I was, I would not pretend to be a really amazing waitress by memorizing your order in my head and then proceeding to let every teeny tiny request fly right out the window before you got to the kitchen. What is so hard about plain baked potato, mushrooms without added butter (premarinated), green beans without any butter for one customer and veggie wrap, lettuce, tomato and pickle (no cheese, no mayo) and a plain baked potato? Really, I mean we are in the age of "have it your way," right? When our food arrived, Steph had mashed potatoes, mushrooms extra butter, green beans extra butter; and I had a veggie burger with cheese and mayonaisse. When the server took my food away and brought it back, I had a veggie burger with the top and bottom removed because the chef was a loser who thought I wouldn't notice he just removed the mayo and cheese and left a shell of a patty.

K, I'm done.

PS The food tasted great, I just hate bad service.

October 20, 2008

Quick update - I'm exhausted and heading to bed. I've eaten fantastic, haven't lost more than a pound. It's irritating but I know I'm doing great. Steph's done well, but when we weighed on Saturday and neither of us had lost any weight, she got pretty upset and when we went to see "3 Needles" at a dinner theater, she ended up having a turkey and cheese sandwich with potato wedges and a black cherry soda. I feel so bad for her. She's done so well for two weeks, and I promised her that she would have seen results by now. She does indeed feel better, and the meal she had at the dinner theater made her sick immediately and she went to the bathroom and threw up. The "diet" of eating healthy foods really makes our bodies trust us and when we feed it crap, it feels like we didn't protect it - it let its guard down and thought we would give it only things it needs, and then when we give it crap cooked, it doesn't have its defenses up and it has to reject the food to survive. I think it's genius. I'm just sad that results haven't come sooner. She's back to our way of eating, having just slipped up Saturday, but I'm not feeling that great in the hope that we'll lose the weight I once did. I know I'm not as strict, I dont eat as many straight veggies, I eat more things like veggie burger patties and potatoes, but it still seems so damn unfair, compared to what I was eating before, that our bodies aren't responding. Ok, I'm depressing myself. Off to bed.

November 20, 2008

My love/hate relationship with food has put me in the foulest of moods and I just don't wanna talk about it. It's all too depressing.

December 16, 2008

Did I ever tell you I'm addicted to watching Biggest Loser, and this season is no different, except that I'll probably dismantle our television with the number of shoes I throw at Vicki's head. That woman is pure evil and gives losing weight a BAD name!

Steph and I got 5 or 6 of the Biggest Loser workout dvds and have started with Week 1 of Workout: Vol 1. Our first workout night was Sunday and honestly, it was tough. It wasn't too long, which was nice, but man it was not as easy as working out used to be for me. We did it again last night and today we are feeling it. Here are the ones we have:



Anyway, we're trying to make better eating choices, by stocking the fridge with carrots, celery, edamame for her (I dont like it), apples and oranges, but we're not being so rigid about other things we're choosing to eat. We're doing the "add healthy foods" instead of "take away the bad stuff" til we get more into eating healthier all the time. It's such a struggle, especially when it's cold outside, and I'm job hunting and Steph's job is very tough on her. We wanna eat comfort foods, and we wanna go out to eat and commiserate together. She and I both have such a strong connection to foods as a way to make ourselves smile. We're helping each other and supporting each other as we go.

December 18, 2008

I just had to give a shout out to a few readers. Thanks for reading, even if there's little to nothing exciting to read in my particular journals!

- Saskatoon, Saskatchewan (I could say this place over and over out loud and just giggle, go on, try it)
- Bloomington, Illinois (did you KNOW that's where my family is from?)
- Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa (I love the way people from South Africa talk, I wanna accent and not just a Texas drawl)
- Reston, Virginia (who are you!? you check my page more than *I* do!)

PS Anyone else think it's sweet justice that 1.) Vicki did not win, 2.) Heba was voted NOT to stay on the show, and 3.) Michelle, the sweetest person on the show, ended up winning? Go karma!