Michelle's
Raw Journey:
2004
Email: michelle at fromsadtoraw dot com
(not a clickable link to avoid spammers)
Michelle's
Raw Journey:
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January 2, 2004, Friday (Day 1) 32 oz. water banana 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 4 oz. water walked 2 miles at Tanyard Creek breathe and stretch on deck 28 oz. water 1/2 cucumber, 1/2 tomato with light Bragg's and Mrs. Dash (washed off seasonings - ick) 1 hr. nap on couch 1 celery stalk glass of decaf. iced tea Lettuce Wraps: Iceberg lettuce (raw) diced, lightly steamed (10 mins) veggies: 1 mushroom, 1 carrot, 1 celery stalk, 1/4 green pepper, 8 almonds, 8 cashew halves 1 T. Tamari Soy Sauce YUM! orange relaxing lavendar bath January 3, 2004, Saturday (Day 2) lower back pain, feel lighter, skin feels good 32 oz. water banana bite out of a peach - not in season - yuck - threw out to the squirrels 1 hr. walk with the dogs (up to the top of Loch Lomond Dam, across the dam and back) 1 hr. nap, very tired glass of iced tea 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts (gave me energy boost) orange 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins Steamed Veggies: 1/2 large potato, 1 mushroom, 1/2 carrot 1/4 plum (not in season either - yuck), pear, sm. banana (skinned, cut up) 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 2 celery stalks January 4, 2004, Sunday (Day 3) 32 oz. water banana apple 1/2 leftover potato, less the skins (microwaved briefly) 1/3 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 1/3 c. raisins glass of decaf. iced tea banana Lightly steamed veggies: 1 mushroom, 1 broccoli stalk, handful green beans, 1 carrot, 1 celery stalk, 10 almonds, 10 cashew halves, 1 t. honey, 1 t. Tamari soy sauce YUM! glass of decaf. iced tea decaf. almond sunset hot tea w/ 1 t. honey (don't care for the almond flavor, didn't drink it after all) bite of mango (didn't care for it) orange 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins January 5, 2004, Monday (Day 4) 16 oz. water banana 14 oz. water 1/2 c. nuts 4 oz. water orange stomach very noisy, hungry today 1/2 c. nuts 4 oz. water banana (not ripe enough) 1/2 tomato glass of iced tea 1 lg. potato (microwaved), light salt and pepper (not bad when it's not quite done and you slice it into chunks, kinda hard, sorta like a fry, but not really, not good mashed, at all --- too dry) 3 celery stalks Smoothie: 2 c. blackberries, 2 bananas, orange, 1 T honey, ice, water (whoa, very berry, super seedy, had to drain the seeds in a colander, oh well, try again next time; made nearly 2 blenders full, drank one, put the other in the fridge, later pitched out, too frothy) 3/4 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins January 6, 2004, Tuesday (Day 5) 12 oz. iced water banana hungry this morning, stomach growling 2 celery stalks orange 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/ raisins banana 1 celery stalk 1 carrot 16 oz. water 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins Lettuce Wraps: Iceberg Lettuce (raw) Steamed veggies: 1 celery stalk, 2 carrots, 2 mushrooms, 1/2 green pepper, 1 broccoli spear (florets only), 12 almonds, 12 cashew halves, 1 T Tamari sauce splashed on wraps (ate 1/3 of the wraps, split rest with Boni and 2 friends) 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins bite of grapefruit VERY hungry and feeling heavier today, possible PMS January 7, 2004, Wednesday (Day 6) Glass of decaf iced tea (made out of old habit - should have drank water) banana 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 6 oz. water orange banana orange 6 oz. decaf iced tea 1/3 c. raisins 1 celery stalk 12 oz. water Steamed veggies: 1 mushroom, 2 sm. red potatoes, 1 carrot, 1 celery stalk, 1 broccoli spear (florets), 1/4 green pepper, 10 almonds, 10 cashew halves, light salt and pepper (Stomach upset right after I ate) Orange Glass of decaf. iced tea January 8, 2004, Thursday (Day 7) banana 32 oz water orange Large salad: romaine, tomato, cucumber, carrots, light oil & vinegar, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins (first meal out in a restaurant) 12 oz water banana 1/2 large potato (microwaved 1/2 time - makes potato warm but crunchy like a radish) 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins glass of decaf. iced tea orange Stopped taking my Vioxx for my knee pain and my Prevacid for my Acid Reflux. Ran out anyway, so I'm gonna see how I feel off of them. January 9, 2004, Friday (Day 8) started my period today (good, that explains my constant hunger, irritability and weight GAIN) 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 16 oz water orange 1/2 large potato (microwaved 1/2 time) 1 carrot 3 celery stalks 1 c. nuts orange I wanted to have lettuce wraps tonight instead of snacking, but I was lazy and not feeling like doing all the chopping) January 10, 2004, Saturday (Day 9) 16 oz water orange glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 2 slices watermelon (not in season at all) walked 1 mile at Windsor Dam (stretched before and after) banana glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 2 corn on the cob (microwaved for 45 seconds to get them a little warm, good not cooked all the way though, nice and crunchy) 1/3 Pummelo - the inside looks like a grapefruit and it kinda smells like it, but the flesh part is really thick and very white - "chewy" - didn't eat the flesh, but still wanted to feel how it tasted on my teeth - I prefer grapefruit, even though the Pummelo is less tart than grapefruit. I guess I'm still stuck on the "standards" January 11, 2004, Sunday (Day 10) 16 oz water banana 1 corn on the cob (microwaved for 50 seconds) orange 16 oz water 1/4 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins Lettuce Wraps: raw iceberg lettuce, steamed: 1/2 broccoli crown, 1 1/2 celery, 1 carrot, 20 cashews, 15 almonds, 2 mushrooms, 1/4 green pepper, small red potato (less skins), Gomasio (sesame seeds and sea salt) 2 glasses of decaf iced tea The lettuce wraps were less than satisfying. Ate it to force myself to eat veggies. orange 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins I'm having a hard time wanting to eat lately, nothing interests me, I'm not really hungry anymore, I'm forcing myself to eat the things I know I need, water in the morning, a banana, some nuts, an orange, then I force myself to eat something green, but then am so unsatisfied that I ate it cause it tastes ick that I just go pout. Today is a tough day for me. It's a strange thing to say, that I'm not hungry, or I'm not interested in eating, or that I'm forcing myself to eat, considering so much of my problems in the past have been overeating and being TOO interested in food. But I think what's happening is I'm going through the loss of cooked, processed food. I'm feeling the loss of Grape Nut Flakes and Soy Milk for breakfast, of TVP taco salad, of veggie breakfast tacos with fake egg, fake sausage and shredded cheese. It cracks me up that I'm missing vegetarian foods. If you'd told me that 1 year ago, I'd say you were crazy. When I became a vegetarian in January 2003, I thought just "regular" vegetarian food was weird and gross. Got over that and ate as an unhealthy vegetarian, loading up on cheeses, dairy products, breads, pastas, etc. (I read another Raw Foodist's journal online and she doesn't mention those types of foods in case other Raws are struggling and might be tempted to eat those foods. But I can't help it, I think typing my struggles and foods that trigger me will help me work through why I want them, and hopefully keep me honest in my raw lifestyle.) Now I'm having times where I miss that vegetarian diet, since now my "diet" has changed to natural foods. Yesterday, I was in Wal-Mart with a friend to pick up some produce and it was really tough with the smells. Seeing the foods in the store wasn't an issue, cause when I see "packaging," it makes me think commercial, processed, chemicals; but the smells set something off in me, so we had to rush through quickly. I guess that's why visiting the Produce Barn to get our fruits and veggies is easier for me. Besides I know they are better for us anyway, probably straight from the farmers, or at least they get there more quickly, I would think. January 12, 2004, Monday (Day 11) 24 oz. water banana 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins orange kiwi apple (peeled) 1 carrot bottle of water (16 oz.) tangerine 3/4 large potato (microwaved with Lite salt and pepper) 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins glass of decaf. iced tea January 13, 2004, Tuesday (Day 12) 11 oz water 1/2 celery stalk banana Starting to see a difference in my face - nose more distinct, jaw more defined, less of a double chin 2 celery stalks juice of a tangerine 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 3 radishes 11 oz water 3 radishes 11 oz water (that was a good snack) 11 oz water 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 1/2 large potato (microwaved with Lite salt and pepper) juice of a tangerine 3 radishes 1 corn on the cob 3/4 c. raisins glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins (WAY too many nuts today - had a hard afternoon, wanted to snack, craved chips and queso big time! the nuts were better than chips/queso, but still need to be aware how many I'm eating - it's the closest thing to chips, I guess, that I can eat.) orange glass of decaf iced tea January 14, 2004, Wednesday (Day 13) Stomach ache today from all of the nuts yesterday, going to cut back on the nuts banana 11 oz water 2 corn on the cob (microwaved for 60 seconds) orange 1/4 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 1 radish glass of decaf. iced tea 3/4 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 1/2 carrot (not enjoying carrots right now, hard to chew and swallow, it's like it never goes away) orange 16 oz water 2 radishes 1 celery 3/4 large potato (microwaved 3 minutes) 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins (well it wasn't 3 c. today, but I still need to back off to 1 or 1 1/2 c. from now on) glass of decaf. iced tea kiwi glass of decaf iced tea January 15, 2004, Thursday (Day 14) 8 oz water banana orange 2 celery stalks 3 radishes tomato 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 16 oz water 16 oz water Fuji apple (peeled) YUM! glass of decaf iced tea large salad - iceberg, romaine, 2 celery stalks, 5 radishes, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, 1/4 tomato, natural Italian dressing 3/4 large potato (microwaved 3 minutes) Lite salt and pepper this was the most satisfying "meal" I've had since starting this food plan, REALLY glad I got the natural dressing, since I was having a hard time getting my greens banana Weight - 295 lbs - total weight loss 15 pounds January 16, 2004, Friday (Day 15) 11 oz water banana orange 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins Fuji apple 11 oz water banana 11 oz water glass of decaf iced tea large salad - iceberg, romaine, 4 radishes, 1 celery, 3/4 tomato, 1/4 cucumber, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, 1 TBL natural Italian dressing 1/2 large potato (microwaved 1 minute, Lite salt and pepper) 2 radishes orange 4 radishes 1/2 large potato (microwaved 1 minute, Lite salt and pepper) Went to the doctor today, weighed - lost 15 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so happy AND the last time I weighed was 2 weeks BEFORE I started the raw food plan, AND it was before the Christmas holidays, therefore I probably weighed even more than 310 when I started the raw food plan January 17, 2004, Saturday (Day 16) banana 4 oz water 1 corn on the cob (microwaved 1 minute) 2 radishes Large Salad: romaine, iceberg, 1/4 cucumber, 3 radishes, 1/4 tomato, 1 celery stalk, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, 1/4 c. frozen peas, 1 TBL natural Italian dressing 1/2 large potato (microwaved 1 1/2 minutes, Lite Salt and pepper) glass of decaf. iced tea glass of decaf. iced tea orange 1/5 pineapple 2 corn on the cob (cut off the cob) 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins banana January 18, 2004, Sunday (Day 17) 11 oz water banana Drove to Kansas City today for business. 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins glass of decaf. iced tea banana Large salad at The Cheesecake Factory: romaine, iceberg, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, peas, celery, 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, 1 Tbl. natural Italian dressing 32 oz water 17 oz water January 18, 2004, Monday (Day 18) 24 oz water 1 c. pineapple, 1 c. cantaloupe, 1 c. strawberries, 1 banana 1/4 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 12 oz water medium salad - all iceberg, 1 oz. fat-free Kraft Ranch, 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, pepper (Wal-Mart lunch) 18 oz water 12 oz water 8 oz water orange 8 oz water 2 Medium salads at Houston's Restaurant (their vegetables were preseasoned and marinated, their baked potato was pre-brushed with oil, so after I ate my appetizer salad, I ordered another) - romaine, iceberg, carrots, grape tomatoes, 3/4 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, 2 Tbl. natural Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins January 20, 2004, Tuesday (Day 19) 1/3 orange 1 banana 1 c. pineapple glass of decaf iced tea 12 oz water Medium salad: iceberg lettuce, 1/2 c. raisins, 1 Tbl natural Italian dressing (Wal-Mart lunch) 12 oz water 12 oz water 12 oz water dinner at Houston's Restaurant: vegetable medley - cooked but dry - rutabaga, butternut squash, onions, red potatoes (didn't care for the rutabaga and the butternut squash tasted like sweet potato, which wasn't really good or bad) medium salad - grape tomatoes, iceberg, romaine, carrots, 2 tsp. Fat Free Italian dressing baked potato - dry - only ate 1 c. of insides 12 oz water 8 oz water banana January 21, 2004, Wednesday (Day 20) 11 oz water banana 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins glass of decaf iced tea Fandango Salad at Panera Bread: spinach, romaine, mandarin oranges, walnuts, 1 Tbl. fat free Raspberry Vinaigrette dressing 8 oz water orange 1 c. raisins handful green beans, 2 red potatoes, Lite salt and pepper glass of decaf iced tea 15 cashews 1/4 orange January 22, 2004, Thursday (Day 21) 11 oz water banana 8 oz water 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 1 celery stalk (ick - yellow and limp) guts of orange (only the juice was decent) 1 corn on the cob (microwaved 1 1/2 minutes) 3/4 tomato glass of decaf iced tea am having a REALLY hard time today. craving Maria's mexican food - chips and salsa, queso, tortillas; Mazzio's Pizza - veggie deep dish pizza and ranch dressing. nearly went and got it tonight; as soon as we got home from work I considered just making soy taco meat, but finally ate the following instead: 1 red potato 8 green beans 1 carrot 1/2 c. frozen peas microwaved for 4 minutes, Lite salt, pepper and small amount of Honey 1/2 c. raw cashews glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins 1/2 c. raisins glass of decaf iced tea FINALLY, after I stuffed myself with all of that, I'm not only full, but feel sick. I ate to compensate for not eating pizza, which is not good, but then again I guess it's better than eating pizza or Mexican food. Going to regret eating all of those nuts tomorrow, but guess that's the lesson I need to learn, and accept that some days will be harder than others. January 23, 2004, Friday (Day 22) 6 oz water 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins (we were out of bananas) 1 Fuji apple (peeled) Medium salad - romaine, iceberg, carrot, radishes, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, tomato, cucumber, peas, 1 Tbl. natural Italian dressing 8 oz water 1/2 potato, 1 corn off the cob, Lite salt and pepper 15 grape tomatoes (SO good!) orange glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins was still having a difficult time craving pizza or chips/queso, so tonight I blended a frozen banana, some protein powder and soy milk to see if it would curb my cravings - I took a couple of sips, but it was kinda thick and soupy so I poured it out. Guess I didn't need something "non raw" as much as I thought I did. January 24, 2004, Saturday (Day 23) 20 oz water banana brief stretch and 1 1/4 mile brisk walk (on Lake Windsor Dam) took an hour nap large salad: romaine, iceberg, grape tomatoes, celery, carrot, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins, 1/4 cucumber, radish sprouts (not bad at all), 1 Tbl natural Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. raisins glass of decaf iced tea banana corn on the cob (1 min microwaved) banana January 25, 2004, Sunday (Day 24) 20 oz water banana 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins corn on the cob (1 min microwaved) 10 cashews, 10 pecans glass of decaf iced tea 2 cherry tomatoes 1 c. mixed raw nuts (no raisins) 20 minute brisk walk with the dogs not really hungry today, just sorta snacking on things - should be eating some veggies, but not in the mood to make a salad or steam any veggies, will make a salad for dinner tonight medium salad: romaine, iceberg, 2 radishes, 6 grape tomatoes, 1 celery stalk, radish sprouts, 1 Tbl Soy-Vegi dressing (don't really like too much - sorta looks like "Ranch") glass of decaf iced tea 1 corn off the cob, 1 cup frozen peas (microwaved 1 1/2 minutes), Lite Salt and pepper January 26, 2004, Monday (Day 25) 12 oz water orange 3/4 c. mixed raw nuts (no raisins) 12 oz water 1/2 c. raisins glass of decaf iced tea 1 large potato (no skins, microwaved 4 minutes) 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) Lite salt, pepper, 1 Tbl. Soy Vegi dressing very good lunch! glass of iced tea 8 grape tomatoes 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts (no raisins) banana glass of decaf iced tea orange I took a picture tonight of my head and compared it to the one I took on January 2nd, and wow, I can tell a difference. It's been hard to notice if I'm really losing any weight, until I looked at the "before" picture next to the "3 weeks" picture. Big difference, I'm gonna HATE to put my Before picture online, for all the world to see, but know it might help someone else one day, just as so many other people's "Raw in Process" pictures have encouraged me. (I'm going to put my Before picture up at the same time I put my 1 month picture up on Saturday.) January 27, 2004, Tuesday (Day 26) 10 oz water banana 1 c. nuts/raisins 12 oz water orange 12 oz water 1 large potato (microwaved 4 minutes) 2 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) Lite Salt and pepper, Mrs. Dash Seasoning (to try to start avoiding salt altogether, even if it is Lite) I love that meal, but really like the Lite Salt and Pepper better than the Mrs. Dash. glass of decaf iced tea orange Fuji apple (peeled) with 1 Tbl raw almond butter (YUM!) 3 radishes glass of decaf iced tea January 28, 2004, Wednesday (Day 27) 12 oz water banana 1 c. mixed raw nuts 12 oz water Large potato (microwaved 4 minutes) 1 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) Lite Salt and Pepper Glass of decaf iced tea orange apple (peeled) with 1 tsp. raw almond butter orange 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts about 1/2 of a medium salad: romaine, 3 radishes, 1/4 yellow pepper, radish sprouts, 6 cherry tomatoes, 1 celery stalk, 1/4 c. raisins, 1 Tbl natural Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea I did not enjoy that salad at all. Part of it was that I'd already eaten enough nuts, so I couldn't put anymore on it, part of it was that I'm sick of the dressing, part of it was that the cherry tomatoes weren't as good as the last batch we got, and the biggest part is that I just don't like "leafy greens." I'm having a hard time with the leafy greens part of this way of eating. I really feel more closely to a Fruitarian than a Raw Foodist, but I also know that to be healthy, I need leafy greens in my diet. And I'm "over" broccoli for a while, I know that. I've been eating a lot of peas and green beans, but those aren't the kind of greens I need to be eating. Gotta work through this.... January 29, 2004, Thursday (Day 28) 11 oz water banana very hungry this morning 1 c. mixed raw nuts 11 oz water orange 11 oz water banana 12 oz water 6 oz water steamed vegetables: 2 red potatoes, 1 celery stalk, 1 carrot, 3 mushrooms, 1/2 green pepper, 1/4 yellow pepper, 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts, handful green beans (ate half, put rest away) Lite Salt and Pepper glass of decaf iced tea ok, was having another hard day today, when I got home I was really wanting some vegetarian pizza or something else "bad," so Boni suggested I make one of our soy veggie dry packaged meals. I quickly agreed and made the soy taco packet. It smelled soooo good, and even though I immediately felt guilty for making something processed, I was glad I had something low fat, vegetarian, and as close to good for me as possible. I had: 1 c. soy taco mix on top of a bed of iceberg lettuce, with 7 grape tomatoes, and 2/3 c. frozen corn It was really good, but I noticed how unbelievably spicy it was --- obviously because everything I eat now is natural food, without artificial spices. Although I have some guilt about this meal, I'm very glad I chose to "cheat" with soy taco mix rather than on pizza, filled with cheese, "bread" and pizza sauce, all as unnatural as it gets. I'm satisfied and feel I can let go of this, seemingly daily, cravings for pizza or Mexican food. January 30, 2004, Friday (Day 29) 6 oz water banana stomach upset from Soy Taco meal last night, craving for pizza and Mexican food has subsided though, so that's good 3/4 c. mixed raw nuts Salad bar at Brioso Brazil: iceberg, romaine, spinach, 5 jumbo green olives, 1 celery stalk, 1 baby carrot, 5 ripe olives, 4 cherry tomatoes, slice of red, green and yellow pepper 8 oz water not sure what the deal was but I was so craving that crispy thick-cut bacon and the freshly shredded colby jack cheese, the roasted cashews and sunflower seeds, the pasta salad, fresh bread, broccoli cheese soup, and the thick ranch dressing - managed to avoid it all, but got to watch my colleague enjoy a lot of it <grin> orange 6 oz water 2 corn on the cob, 3 cherry tomatoes glass of decaf iced tea orange went to the doctor's office today to weigh on the same scale I've been weighing on. Drum roll.....total weight loss 19 pounds in 30 days. Proud but wish it were more --- ah ever the perfectionist dreamer. Weight - 291 lbs - total weight loss 19 pounds January 31, 2004, Saturday (Day 30) 8 oz water banana didn't eat anything all day, took a 3 hour nap mid morning to early afternoon 16 oz water We were leaving at 4:30 pm for our first Raw Food Potluck in Fayetteville, so I grabbed two 8 oz bottles of water (noted above as 16 oz) for the road. By the time we got to the area at 5:15, I was hungry, my stomach was growling and I wasn't feeling good. Not good to not eat all day and only have some water in the afternoon. I was torn between being happy I was hungry so I'd be more inclined to try as much as possible of the dishes, AND being nervous that I'd overeat and look like a pig, knowing I'd probably be one of the most overweight people there, if not the only overweight person. The home where the potluck was hosted was amazing. The architect was one of E. Fay Jones' students, obviously by the Zen-like atmosphere of large angular glass window-walls, Buddha sculptures, wind chimes, large landscape and even a Japanese garden/courtyard. This home was a perfect place to have a feast of natural, healthy, pure foods with people who are on the same path to health and well being. Very peaceful, very pure, very natural. We were the first ones there, which was sort of uncomfortable, but also gave me an opportunity to watch people come in and observe the many interesting dishes they brought with them. I noticed most of the people were very thin and had that "healthy and happy" glow about them. The types of people at the potluck ranged so much there's no way someone would be able to pigeon-hole Raw Foodists. There were very young women, middle aged women, older women, mothers, daughters, 2 young children and a baby. A few young men, and a few older men. If I were creating a study of this group, I'd generally say that women do the "raw thing" more than men, but that could be wrong. The looks of the people varied as much as their age and gender. You could have been sitting in a doctor's office with Hippies, Soccer Moms, College Students, Teachers, whatever. I like that everyone is so different, and that what you eat doesn't necessarily make you who you are, as many might like to believe. Once everyone had arrived and the kitchen bar was completely full of colorful snacks, appetizers, entrees, salads, and desserts, a line formed and people began to pile their plates. Boni and I were at the end of the line, which was fine with me, as I wanted to be able to get a good look at these raw dishes without strange looks or hurried glances. I made a pact with myself that the only way to know if I could do this Raw thing, was to try every single thing on the bar, in small proportions, of course. So I did. I took a little bit of each dish, making sure I got every ingredient visible, even if it looked a little strange or unknown to me. I sat on the floor with a friendly-looking young woman, who cleared off a bit of the coffee table for me to share. Boni sat on one of the couches next to a couple who brought something that definitely peaked my interest...a pizza pie. Ooh pizza, I was ready for anything that might resemble pizza. Here are some of the dishes I tried: pizza pie, chili, new shepherd's pie, portabella mushroom and spinach quiche, another chili recipe, carrot cake, crackers, zucchini spaghetti and spaghetti sauce, carob almond bars, banana chips, tossed salad, grape tomatoes, celery with carrot and almond butter pate, and many other things that I have no idea what they were called. Everything was great! I was shocked and so happy to be eating a full course meal of completely raw, completely healthy dishes that tasted fantastic. It was like a binge or something, but it wasn't. At one point I felt really guilty for how much I was enjoying this huge meal, but kept trying to remind myself it was ok. No one was having the typical SAD (Standard American Diet) after-dinner discussion of, "Oh my gosh, why did I eat so much," "I'm gonna pay for this tomorrow," "I don't even want to know how much fat and how many calories that dessert had," "I'm so stuffed I feel sick." Although I have to say, having eaten completely "solitary and standard" fruits, nuts and vegetables for the last month, my stomach did react a little strangely on the way home --- it felt a little tight, but I'm 100% certain it was because I don't eat that amount of food in one sitting anymore. I eat small small meals throughout the day. And not to mention the fact that I had had nothing but a banana in the morning, so I had a very very empty stomach going into a very very big meal. But I'm not complaining!!! After dinner, I quickly took my notebook up to the bar and began writing down the names of the dishes that had notecards by them, and the recipe for the Carob Almond Bars, since that particular dessert was just about the best "bad" thing I've had in 30 days --- again it wasn't bad, but in my mind, I was getting to eat bad by eating a dessert. And the recipe didn't look hard either! Next I asked Elaine, the hostess for the recipe for her New Shepherd's Pie and the Portabella Mushroom and Spinach Quiche. She looked at me a little insanely and I understood why after she brought me the recipe book she got it out of. That was one complicated and long recipe. At the very least time-consuming. But I didn't care, and neither did another guest who happily scribbled down the 2 page recipe for the Quiche. I started to get the New Shepherd's Pie, when half way through I realized, we're going to buy this book, I know we are, so just be patient. It's not even like we have a dehydrator or juicer yet. We have a long way to go. But my enthusiasm wasn't curbed in the least. This raw lifestyle is a good one and it can and will work for us. This potluck was a turning point for me in that dedication. And I look forward to more potlucks, workshops and seminars in the future to help us keep on keepin' on. A few hours after we got home, I was hungry again and had a snack. This was a perfect end to our first 30 days raw. orange glass of decaf iced tea  February 1, 2004, Sunday (Day 31) banana orange 1 c. raisins 6 oz water 1 corn on the cob - lightly steamed banana 8 oz water 8 oz water orange Fuji apple - peeled 3 c. (in-shell) mixed raw nuts (we bought a bag to crack ourselves) glass of decaf. iced tea Large potato - Microwaved 4 minutes 1 c. frozen corn - Microwaved 2 minutes 2 green onions 4 cherry tomatoes 1 c. reheated soy taco mix - Microwaved 2 minutes Pepper glass of decaf iced tea Yea, I know - I had processed food (soy taco mix) today, and I didn't even really want it. I saw it in the freezer, leftover from the other day when I cheated. So I just added it to my potato. Don't get me wrong, it was good, but it wasn't worth it. Really want to avoid ALL processed foods, whether they are vegetarian and low fat or not....Feel yuck, guilty, fat. February 2, 2004, Monday (Day 32) 8 oz water banana 4 oz water orange 4 oz water 1 c. raisins 12 grape tomatoes 8 oz water banana 3 c. (in-shell) mixed raw nuts 1 c. frozen corn - Microwaved 2 minutes, Salt and Pepper (too much salt and pepper cause the corn didn't taste good) glass of decaf iced tea glass of decaf iced tea February 3, 2004, Tuesday (Day 33) 4 oz water banana orange 4 oz water celery and 4 radishes Salad from Big Guys Subs: iceberg, green pepper, celery, 4 radishes, black olives, natural Italian dressing 28 oz water 11 oz water February 4, 2004, Wednesday (Day 34) (Dena told me first thing this morning how awful she felt after eating all of that meat. Reminded me just how good I felt after my salad bar.) 8 oz water banana orange Fuji apple (peeled) This was a turning point for me...this apple. When I ate it, it tasted like "dessert," the way I used to feel about more traditional sweets. Don't get me wrong, chocolate is still a dessert I have cravings for, but the apple was different today. It tasted REALLY good and I wanted another one nearly right away, quite the same addictive feeling I used to have with cheese, chips, chocolate, pizza, queso, etc. Little successes... Lunch at Ruby Tuesday's: Salad Bar: Iceberg, Romaine, and Mixed Greens, red pepper, raisins, radishes, sliced almonds, cherry tomato, peas, fat free honey mustard dressing Plain baked potato, minor salt, lots of pepper (the potato was cooked really good, the potato was tender, but not dry) VERY satisfying meal! 24 oz water 3 c. (in-shell) mixed raw nuts corn on the cob (microwaved 1 minute) glass of decaf iced tea Fuji apple (peeled) Again, this apple was fantastic! Very satisfying and felt like a dessert. February 5, 2004, Thursday (Day 35) 6 oz water banana orange 3 c. (in-shell) mixed raw nuts 2 glasses decaf iced tea 1 small potato (Microwaved 3 minutes --- put potato in bowl, poked holes in it and added about an inch of water to the bottom of the bowl - made it really tender, almost like baked in the oven, but only took 3 minutes) garlic pepper salt 12 oz water Made a honey mustard dressing by using plain mustard, honey and filtered water. This isn't technically raw, but the mustard had few ingredients, and most seemed natural enough for me. Salad: Romaine, mixed greens, yellow pepper, radishes, cherry tomatoes, celery, frozen peas, corn off the cob, honey mustard dressing Medium potato (Microwaved 3 minutes) garlic pepper salt glass of decaf iced tea orange glass of decaf iced tea 2 c. (in-shell) mixed raw nuts I'm eating too many nuts, even if they are in-shell, which equates to more time to shell, therefore maybe eating less...I feel like I'm not eating the appropriate amount of nuts, at the appropriate times, and for the appropriate reasons. Reasons meaning, not cause I'm sitting at the table, watching TV, cracking nuts cause it's something to do, and before I know it, I've stuffed myself, feel sick, and realize I wasn't eating the nuts for the protein, but for the activity. I'm going to go back to shelled nuts, measured out, in Ziploc bags, that I allow myself ONE per day. No more. I need restriction in order to maintain the healthy act of nourishing my body with what it needs, not what my mind wants. February 6, 2004, Friday (Day 36) 6 oz water banana orange medium potato (Microwaved 3 minutes) 1 c. frozen peas (Microwaved 1 1/2 minutes) garlic pepper salt 16 oz water 2 c. (in-shell) mixed raw nuts 8 oz water orange celery glass of decaf iced tea Steamed vegetables: 1 zucchini peeled and then peeled into thin "fettuccini" slices, red potato, 1 carrot, 1 c. green beans, frozen peas 1 tsp honey mustard dressing garlic pepper salt glass of decaf iced tea 2 c. (in-shell mixed raw nuts) glass of decaf iced tea Feeling really fat today - have to go to the natural foods store tomorrow to get the shelled nuts and get them measured out and put in Ziploc bags. February 7, 2004, Saturday (Day 37) 8 oz water Went to Hobby Lobby to get a bunch of little jars that seal for our growing number of bulk herbs and spices. Went to Ozark Natural Foods today and bought our normal load of shelled raw nuts, raw almond butter, and a few things that we normally don't buy. I got both kinds of flax seed, both kinds of sesame seed, a new "Sea Seasonings" seasoning for Boni, a couple of bananas so I could have something to eat on the way home, some shredded unsweetened coconut, and a Dry Skin Brush that Boni told me she'd give me for an early Valentine's Day gift. I'd been wanting one of these, as I'd read Dry Skin brushing is a really good thing for your body. I also got a few ingredients to make the Carob Almond Balls that we'd had at the last Raw Food Potluck. banana I met our neighbors at the Bella Vista Nature Trail on Lake Bella Vista and we had a little over a mile walk. It was 23 degrees out, so it was a brisk walk! 1 c. raw pecans (shelled) Took some poppy seed dressing that I had bought and added a pint of blueberries to it, mixing it in the food processor to make a blueberry poppy seed dressing like I'd had at Brioso Brazil. Unfortunately it wasn't the same, but that's because Brioso's had sugar in it, and mine doesn't. Oh well, I'll still use it on salads and maybe as a fruit dip. Next I made the Carob Almond Balls, using the food processor we bought a few months before we even considered the Raw life. I wanted to bring a raw dessert to our neighbor's house to play dominoes, but since we don't have a dehydrator or a juicer yet, I knew this recipe would be the only thing I could make, and knew it would be good. They were even better than I remembered and was so excited that I'd just uncooked my first raw dish. Boni tried them and absolutely loved them. 2 Carob Almond Balls That night our friends tried them and loved them too! They were equally as excited as we were that this dessert was raw and yet so sweet and satisfying. medium potato (microwaved 4 minutes) frozen peas (microwaved 1 1/2 minutes) garlic pepper salt and a dab of Honey Mustard for a bit of creaminess glass of decaf iced tea Then I went overboard, sharing in the feast of Carob Almond Balls with our friends. I wasn't savoring it as I did at the potluck, which isn't good. I need to remember that just because they are raw, doesn't mean I need to overdo it. 5 Carob Almond Balls February 8, 2004, Sunday (Day 38) Felt sick this morning, ate way too many of the Carob Almond Balls --- too much nuts and seeds in them to eat so many. Will try to watch that. 8 oz water banana 1 Carob Almond Ball 1 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins/shredded coconut 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts/raisins/shredded coconut Guess I've missed that trail mix a lot, been overdoing it on the nuts. But I think it was related to my cycle, cause I started this morning. Makes sense why I've felt so "hungry" lately. 8 oz water 3 strawberries YUM! Hadn't had strawberries since last summer, and these were surprisingly very sweet and ripe. orange medium potato (microwaved 4 minutes) 1 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) pepper, salt Tried some hot chamomile tea with honey. I just don't like any flavor in my tea. I'll have to try to find a good decaf tea that's not flavored. 3 strawberries 2 Carob Almond Balls That is about as close to "Chocolate Dipped Strawberries" as it gets. Wow. 6 strawberries I can't get enough of these today. I should be eating some salad, but I'm not in the mood. Dinner at Montana Mike's Steakhouse Large salad: iceberg and tomatoes, fat free ranch, pepper Baked potato: plain with pepper 16 oz water 3 Carob Almond Balls 1 strawberry February 9, 2004, Monday (Day 39) orange banana 3 strawberries 12 oz water 1 c. raw trail mix (I mixed brazil nuts, almonds, pecans, sunflower seeds, walnuts, raisins, unsweetened coconut flakes) orange 2 small potatoes (microwaved 4 minutes) 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) salt and pepper 2 glasses decaf iced tea 1 1/2 corn off the cob salt, pepper, Molly McButter (oops, processed product), honey didn't like that mix at all --- what was I thinking? We finished off all of the Carob Almond Balls, so I decided to make a version of my own with the ingredients I had in the kitchen (was out of Almond Butter and Carob Powder). I think it turned out really good, a little too honey/raisin, but still good. Might tweak it a little tomorrow. Trail Mix Balls (first attempt) Put 1 c. Raw Trail Mix (brazil nuts, almonds, pecans, sunflower seeds, walnuts, raisins, unsweetened coconut flakes) into food processor til blended and chopped well. Added 1 c. raisins, 1/2 c. honey, 1/2 c. sunflower seeds, 1/4 c. sesame seeds. Processed until creamy ---- came out too moist actually, but I rolled into balls and rolled in shredded coconut. Put in fridge to harden. Tasted good, but too much honey and raisin. 5 Trail Mix Balls February 10, 2004, Tuesday (Day 40) 8 oz water banana banana glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. trail mix orange glass of decaf iced tea When I got home from work, I decided to tweak the Trail Mix Balls recipe. I took all of the refrigerated Trail Mix Balls and put them in the food processor. Had to kind of separate them first cause the blades couldn't get them apart very easily. Then I added 1/4 c. more sesame seeds and another 1/2 c. sunflower seeds. That combined with the shredded coconut that the original balls had been rolled in, made a perfect texture, kind of like "toffee chips" or "broken peanut" texture. It reminded me of some kind of chocolate candy that I've had at Fannie Mae's or one of those counters in the mall that has the beautifully created candy creations. VERY good this time. So more crunch, less moisture = better Trail Mix Ball. Trail Mix Balls (second attempt) Put original Trail Mix Balls into food processor, add 1/4 c. sesame seeds, 1/2 c. sunflower seeds. Process til well mixed/chopped. Roll into balls. You can roll them in coconut again, or leave as is. Good either way. Refrigerate to harden. 7 Trail Mix Balls (what can I say, they were good!) Decided to play around some more with the Food Processor, since I "perfected" the Trail Mix Balls. I got out the Spaghetti Sauce recipe from James, Raw Foodist, and saw which ingredients I did have and which I did not. Made this recipe, which turned out more like a salsa-type topping rather than spaghetti sauce, but it was still pretty good, none-the-less. Spaghetti Salsa 15-20 cherry tomatoes 2 small carrots, peeled and cut up into 2 inch pieces 1/2 red bell pepper 1 large mushroom 1 clove garlic (I learned, unfortunately, not to use 2 cloves, as it overpowers the sauce too much) 2 Tbl Tamari Soy Sauce (or Nama Shoyu) 2 Tbl Light Olive Oil Combine all ingredients in Food Processor. Enjoy on top of anything! It was a good way to curb our Mexican-food cravings. Medium potato (microwaved 4 minutes) 1/4 c Spaghetti Salsa, 1 green onion, and pepper (Very yummy) 3 glasses of decaf iced tea 1/2 mile walk (hills) Got hungry for the potato/salsa thing again....shouldn't have eaten so late, but I've been absolutely "starving" lately. Guess it's cause it's my time of the month, but jeez, you'd think I never ate or something. Medium potato (microwaved 4 minutes) 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) 1/4 c. Spaghetti Salsa, pepper February 11, 2004, Wednesday (Day 41) banana 8 oz water 1 c. trail mix 1 Trail Mix Ball Salad: romaine, leafy green lettuce, 1 1/2 celery, sunflower seeds, raisins, 1/4 yellow pepper, 1/4 green pepper, 1 c. peas, blueberry poppy seed and honey mustard dressing, pepper glass of decaf iced tea Made the Spaghetti Sauce recipe by James, Raw Foodist. Didn't think it came out like his though...not sure why not. Tried it over sliced (with Food Processor) Zucchini, but it came out kinda mushy. Practice, I guess. Oh well, Boni liked it, so she's gonna take it to lunch tomorrow. Decided to try it on a potato, to see if it was just the zucchini part that I didn't like it. small potato (microwaved 4 minutes) 1/4 Spaghetti Sauce 1 c. frozen peas garlic powder, Molly McButter, pepper glass of decaf iced tea Made some more Trail Mix Balls --- man I'm addicted to those! 5 Trail Mix Balls orange February 12, 2004, Thursday (Day 42) banana 1 c. trail mix 8 oz water glass of decaf iced tea 2 Trail Mix Balls Salad: romaine, radishes, 1/5 c. trail mix, 1/4 yellow pepper, 1 celery stalk, 7 cherry tomatoes, 1 Tbl store-bought low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 4 Trail Mix Balls 1/4 mile walk (hills) Ok, was really wanting to cheat tonight. So I decided that I'd allow myself to do this once a month if I have to, but no more. I went to the store and got "appetizer" foods that I used to eat years ago, not even what I ate when I was just vegetarian. Strange how cravings work when you're raw. At least when I'm raw. So here's my very honest, painfully honest, recount of my Major Cheat: 2 Totino's cheese pizzas (very small pizzas, but still 2 is more than I would have eaten when I was overeating --- major binge) 3 mozzarella cheese sticks 2 cheddar peppers ranch dip glass of decaf iced tea Then came the major punishment that my body inflicted. Threw up twice, felt very sick, fat, bloated, stomach tight, body achey, completely awful reaction to this cheat. The GOOD part of this cheat and the punishment, is that I know I can never go back to eating this way again. My body rejected this food, literally, and I have to accept that I'm allergic to that type of food. I will be happy with my 80% raw lifestyle, with the 20% being heated vegetables only and lite dressings. So lesson learned, though it was a tough one, it was one I needed to learn at this point in my raw journey. Whew, honesty is a good thing for my accountability and willingness to accept my stumbles along the way. February 13, 2004, Friday (Day 43) glass of decaf iced tea banana 2 mile walk 3/4 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea 1/4 c. trail mix salad: 8 cherry tomatoes, 2 radishes, 5 green olives, 1 celery stalk, 1/4 green pepper, romaine, raisins, 1 tbl. lowfat Italian dressing, pepper 1 1/2 c. trail mix recipe (trail mix, honey, more raisins, more sunflower seeds, sesame seeds --- mixed in food processor - yum!) orange 1/2 c. mixed raw nuts watermelon slice February 14, 2004, Saturday (Day 44) 8 oz water banana 1 c. trail mix salad: 5 green olives, 9 cherry tomatoes, raisins, coconut, sunflower seeds, celery, 1/4 green pepper, 2 radishes, 1 tbl low-fat Italian dressing, pepper glass of decaf iced tea 1 mile walk (hills) 2 Fuji apples (peeled) medium potato (microwaved 4 1/2 minutes), 1 green onion steamed vegetables: 1 carrot, 1 mushroom, 1 c. green beans 1 tsp. low-fat Italian dressing, pepper, Molly McButter glass of decaf iced tea 3 c. (in-shell) pecans glass of decaf iced tea February 15, 2004, Sunday (Day 45) banana 8 oz water Olive Garden: several bowls of salad (romaine/iceberg, black olives, tomatoes, Italian dressing) 24 oz water 1 c. trail mix 3 green olives glass of decaf iced tea medium potato (baked in oven 1 hour, 350 degrees) 1 green onion, pepper, Molly McButter, sea salt, 1 tsp. low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea February 16, 2004, Monday (Day 46) 8 oz water banana 1 c. trail mix (changed this up a little bit: brazil nuts, almonds, pecans, cashews, sunflower seeds, walnuts, macadamia nuts, unsweetened coconut pieces, organic raisins) 1 medium potato (reheated in microwave for 1 minute --- had baked several potatoes last night) green pepper, pepper glass of decaf iced tea Went to the doctor today for my every-2-week weigh-in. Drum roll........total weight loss so far 26 pounds. 26 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god, I can't believe in a month and a half I've lost 26 pounds. And doing it the healthy way, not taking diet pills, starving, doing any kind of Atkins or South Beach diet. I've done it. Want to keep weighing in every 2 weeks for motivation to continue. orange glass of decaf iced tea Salad: romaine, leafy greens, 3 radishes, 1 celery stalk, sunflower seeds, pepper, Low-Fat Italian dressing This salad tasted awful --- I know the romaine was getting a little old, and much of it was kind of wilting and yellowing, but something else. It didn't taste right. Very unsatisfying salad. And normally I love this salad with the Italian dressing. So I saw Boni making herself a corn tortilla, black bean and avocado taco and decided I wanted a taco too, but with the leftover soy taco meat in the freezer. She questioned me, but I hurriedly made myself two corn tortilla tacos with 1/3 c. soy taco meat on each, with cherry tomatoes and leafy greens, and a little pepper. They were so good. I don't really care for corn tortillas, but they were there and I wanted them. 2 corn tortillas 2/3 c. soy taco meat cherry tomatoes leafy greens pepper Then, something maddening happened inside my head, and I made another one (noted below). Three tacos!!! What the hell was wrong with me? It was like I was insane and had lost all ability to reason with myself. I didn't want to hear it, not from my brain, not from Boni. I just ate. It's almost a self-destructive technique after I had learned of my successful weight loss at the doctor today. It's like I can't have anything good happen to me, that I have to punish myself for being good, by being bad. How strange. But how common for me, in my history. Have to change that. Can't blame it on the fact that "it was there, in the fridge, so I ate it." No, I have to be stronger than that and not kill any chance of success I have. I will work on this. 1 corn tortilla 1/3 c. soy taco meat cherry tomatoes leafy greens pepper Immediately felt bad in my stomach and throat. I didn't have cheese, which is what most often sends me over the edge, but the spices of the soy taco meat is just too much for me. And corn tortillas, as ok as they are as a "bread," not smart. My stomach settled down, but not before the guilt set in and feelings of failure came over me. I will not allow this set-back to affect my journey, it will only serve to remind me of my desire to change. 1 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea Tomorrow's another day. Weight - 284 lbs - total weight loss 26 pounds February 17, 2004, Tuesday (Day 47) 8 oz water banana glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. trail mix 8 oz water Fuji apple (peeled) glass of decaf iced tea 2 small potatoes (microwaved 5 minutes) 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (microwaved 2 minutes) salt and pepper 8 oz water 1/4 c. carob trail mix/honey mixture February 18, 2004, Wednesday (Day 48) 8 oz water banana 4 oz water Fuji apple (peeled) 1 c. trail mix 8 oz water small salad: romaine, leafy greens, 1/2 celery stalk, 1/5 c. mixed nuts, cherry tomatoes, 1 tsp Italian dressing, pepper 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (steamed 10 minutes) glass of decaf iced tea orange baked potato (oven 350 degrees, 75 minutes) 2 c. frozen peas (steamed 10 minutes) some salt, pepper glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. trail mix 1/2 c. carob trail mix/honey mixture February 19, 2004, Thursday (Day 49) 10 oz water banana 1 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea orange 30 minute walk and playtime with the dogs (ran, jumped, played with them, briskly walked with them) potato (pre-baked yesterday, then steamed for 10 minutes today) 1 c. frozen corn (steamed 10 minutes) some salt, pepper 1 chive (chopped) glass of decaf. iced tea 5 carob almond balls (made them again today and couldn't help myself, they are so good!) February 20, 2004, Friday (Day 50) 12 oz water banana 1 c. trail mix 8 oz water 8 oz water potato (pre-baked, then steamed for 10 minutes to warm) 1 c. frozen corn 3 chives salt and pepper glass of decaf iced tea 2 carob almond balls February 21, 2004, Saturday (Day 51) 8 oz water 4 oz water banana 1/4 c. trail mix Olive Garden for lunch: 2 bowls of salad with tomatoes and black olives, their Italian dressing (2 Tbl) broth, zucchini and celery from 3 bowls of their Vegan Minestrone soup (cooked) orange 3/4 c. trail mix potato (pre-baked, then microwaved for 2 minutes to reheat) 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (microwaved for 2 minutes) salt and pepper glass of decaf iced tea 1/4 c. trail mix February 22, 2004, Sunday (Day 52) slept in late, didn't start eating til noon banana 1 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea 4 oz water 1/4 c. trail mix salad: mixed greens, spinach, radishes, green olives, cherry tomatoes, celery, sunflower seeds, raisins, 1 Tbl. low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 8 oz water 1 carob almond ball orange February 23, 2004, Monday (Day 53) banana 10 oz water 1 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea orange banana 1 carob almond ball salad: leafy greens, radishes, tomatoes, celery, 1/5 c. trail mix, pepper, low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 2 carob almond balls orange February 24, 2004, Tuesday (Day 54) banana 4 oz water 1/2 c. trail mix 1/2 c. trail mix 1 carob almond ball 3/4 small potato (baked 1 hour at 350 degrees) 1 1/2 c. frozen peas (steamed 10 minutes) glass of decaf iced tea 3 olives February 25, 2004, Wednesday (Day 55) 8 oz water 1/2 banana 4 oz water 1 c. trail mix 1/2 banana glass of decaf iced tea orange 3 olives 2 carob almond balls 1/2 medium potato, 1 c. frozen peas (steamed 15 minutes) salt, pepper orange 1 carob almond ball 2 olives glass of decaf iced tea February 26, 2004, Thursday (Day 56) banana 8 oz water 1 c. trail mix salad: romaine mix, radishes, cherry tomatoes, celery, pepper, low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 4 olives 3 carob almond balls orange 2 carob almond balls 1/2 c. trail mix 3 olives glass of decaf iced tea 3/4 small potato (pre-baked, steamed for 10 minutes) 1 chive chopped, salt and pepper glass of decaf iced tea corn on the cob orange 1 carob almond ball I was so "hungry" today --- I can't seem to get satisfied with what I eat. I don't think my body is hungry, I think my mind is. I weighed yesterday and was ecstatic to see that I'd lost 2 more pounds, so what do I do --- of course, I eat, and overeat. What a phenomenon --- self-sabotage. It may not appear to be overeating, but I know myself now. I know when I'm eating just to eat, or because I don't "feel" satisfied. orange Ordered the Excalibur 2900, a 9-shelf dehydrator, from Mountain Home Basics today. I'm so excited about getting this new appliance. I've been collecting recipes since I started this raw lifestyle that require dehydration. I'm gonna try the corn tortillraws recipe for next weekend's raw potluck. February 27, 2004, Friday (Day 57) banana 8 oz water 1 c. trail mix Two trips to the salad bar at Brioso Brazil: romaine, leafy greens, red, yellow and green bell pepper, celery, green olives, black olives, cashews (not raw), sunflower seeds (not raw), raisins, fat-free blueberry poppy seed dressing, pepper small plate of cantaloupe, grapes, and pineapple 24 oz water Went to a local nature food store, called Nature's Harmony. They're small, but cute. We don't go there much, cause their selection is limited. But they did have some natural gum, called Spry, with Xylitol, some natural ingredient. It's pretty good gum! Reminds me of Eclipse gum, but less intense. organic strawberry fruit leather (like a fruit roll-up but good for you, equals one piece of fruit on the fruit exchange) corn on the cob 2 carob almond balls glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. mixed nuts glass of decaf iced tea 1/4 c. raisins 2 carob almond balls February 28, 2004, Saturday (Day 58) 1 c. mixed nuts banana 1 carob almond ball glass of decaf iced tea Salad at Olive Garden: lettuce, black olives, tomatoes, Italian dressing (2 bowls of salad) Broth from Vegan Minestrone soup at Olive Garden --- two bowls of just the broth (not raw soup) 24 oz water We met our friend, another Raw Foodist, for lunch at Olive Garden - she brought some homemade Raw crackers. I tried one, it was ok, a little spicy, or too flavorful for my liking. But at least I tried it. About an hour after we left, I got sick AGAIN from the minestrone broth. I guess my body REALLY does not want me eating that type of cooked food. Maybe now I'll learn to listen to my body and not my mind. 1 fruit leather 3 olives 1 carob almond ball 1 fruit leather (hey, what can I say, those are good!) 1 c. mixed nuts glass of decaf iced tea February 29, 2004, Sunday (Day 59) 1 carob almond ball Fuji apple - peeled glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. trail mix 4 oz water 1/2 c. trail mix Took the dogs for a walk - about 30 minutes. Beautiful outside. Spring is coming. Good to be in nature, as a person eating natural foods. salad: mixed leafy greens, romaine, cherry tomatoes, celery, mixed sprouts, sunflower seeds, coconut, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 2 olives 1 corn on the cob 1/2 c. frozen peas, pepper, salt (ate a couple of bites of this, but didn't taste good) 2 oranges glass of decaf iced tea 3 carob almond balls (that our neighbor made from the recipe I shared with her)  March 1, 2004, Monday (Day 60) 2 months today. Wow, seems longer. Feeling very unhappy with my progress today. Have to be honest. Really wanted to be a lot smaller by now. I know I've come a long way, but it seems like such a major change that I've committed to, so I want my body to hurry up and reward my efforts. 6 oz water banana orange 1 c. trail mix 4 oz water Organic Strawberry fruit leather (commercial bought) glass of decaf iced tea Had my lunch at home today; took it out on the back deck. It was absolutely beautiful out. It really feels like spring; sun shining, breeze, birds singing, I even saw a butterfly today, already! What a wonderful way to eat lunch. Outside in nature (our backyard opens to the woods and lots of wildlife). A large red-headed woodpecker came up to one of my feeders, about 5 feet from me and ate the bird pudding along-side me eating my food. I had just read something in David Wolfe's Sunfood Diet book about how he puts his water outside in the sun before he drinks it; and how he thinks we all need 30 minutes of sun a day (on the raw diet, our body creates a natural UV protection, which is actually harmed by using commercial sun screens). So I had my glass of water sitting on the deck sunning (only for the 10-15 minutes I was out there, and I was drinking it at the same time, but it was fun to pretend to do what David does). And I was breathing and really tasting my salad, the sprouts, the sunflower seeds, and feeling the warm sun on my face. It gave me energy and happiness, which he says the sun does. Gives us energy and helps with depression. Salad: romaine, celery, sprouts, radishes, cherry tomatoes, raisins, coconut, green olives, sunflower seeds, small amount of mixed nuts, 1 T. low-fat Italian dressing, pepper 16 oz water orange Mixed veggies (steamed for 15 minutes): frozen corn, frozen peas, green beans, potato, carrots, green onion, pepper, salt, 1/2 t. low-fat Italian dressing mixed in for flavor 8 oz water Then, for some reason, maybe because I knew I was going to be going to weigh in, I overate on nuts. What is it about nuts, that I just have no moderation? I think I need to not get nuts again for a while, and get my protein from other sources. I'm not able to eat nuts without overeating, or eating them like chips. 1 1/2 - 2 c. mixed nuts 1 c. raisins 8 oz water Went to Linen's N Things tonight after work and bought the Joyce Chen Spiral Slicer. Really excited to try it out, but don't have a zucchini, will try it tomorrow night. Weight - 281 lbs - total weight loss 29 pounds March 2, 2004, Tuesday (Day 61) 6 oz water banana 3/4 c. trail mix 1 Medjool date (first one ever, strange, chewy, not good, not bad) 4 oz water (primarily to wash down the date) orange orange 1/4 c. mixed nuts 6 olives 2 glasses of decaf iced tea Made angel hair pasta with a zucchini and the spiral slicer. Made a spaghetti sauce with "parmesan cheese" on it. Ate that with a wonderful salad and felt like I was sitting in Mama Italiana's (made-up Italian restaurant name, haha). Wonderfully satisfying!! 1 small bowl of zucchini spaghetti, spaghetti sauce and "parmesan cheese" Salad: leafy greens, romaine, celery, radishes, sprouts, grape tomatoes, raisins, olives, "parmesan cheese," low-fat Italian dressing, pepper glass of decaf iced tea another small bowl of zucchini spaghetti, spaghetti sauce and "parmesan cheese" glass of decaf iced tea I'm so hungry lately, I'm really hoping it's PMS. March 3, 2004, Wednesday (Day 62) banana 8 oz water 1 c. trail mix (I was being good about waiting to eat my nuts around lunch time, but lately I've been eating them around 10:00 am...too early, but that's when I want them) orange glass of decaf iced tea Medium salad: leafy greens, romaine, celery, raisins, grape tomatoes, olives, pepper, parmesan cheese, sprouts, radishes, low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea Snacked all evening - PMSing bigtime. 10 olives March 4, 2004, Thursday (Day 63) banana 5 oz water 1 c. trail mix (again, ate these too early in the day) Zucchini Spaghetti, Spaghetti Sauce, Parmesan Cheese glass of decaf iced tea orange 11 oz water (was very thirsty all of a sudden) Started my period today. Thank God. I was wondering why the hell I was so hungry, and bitchy and hadn't lost any weight in the last week. Fuji apple 1 c. trail mix bite out of a nectarine (ick, mealy, too early for nectarines) opened a coconut (moldy, man nothing's good today, Boni took a bite out of a white flesh peach and it was awful too) 2 olives 1 c. chocolate banana crunch ice cream glass of decaf iced tea March 5, 2004, Friday (Day 64) 12 oz water banana orange 1 c. trail mix Zucchini Spaghetti, Spaghetti Sauce, Parmesan Cheese glass of decaf iced tea 3 olives Fuji apple (not peeled) 8 oz water Zucchini Spaghetti, Spaghetti Sauce, Parmesan Cheese glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea orange I took half a day off from work today, and got the new Excalibur dehydrator delivered around 1:00 pm. I immediately started preparing recipes to dehydrate. Started the corn tortillraws, and bell pepper crackers. March 6, 2004, Saturday (Day 65) orange 1 c. trail mix 12 oz water 1 mile walk around Lake Bella Vista with our neighbors. Beautiful day outside. Spring's here! Started the dehydrator for banana chips, apple chips, and apple/banana/kiwi fruit leathers.. I LOVE this new appliance! Made corn tortillraws, corn tacoraws, and Rawlsa for the Raw Potluck tonight. Boni made fresh sprouts to bring. Left early for the potluck which was about 45 minutes away. It was at a great house in Rogers, right off Beaver Lake. The view was spectacular, another perfect place in nature for a Raw Food Potluck. There were about 18 people there and some of the dishes that were there and I tried were: fresh sprouts corn tortillraws corn tacoraws Rawlsa nut pate hummus miso soup flax crackers carrot pate carob cinnamon coconut balls salad. Dr Kenneth Green and Dr. Janet Parks of the GreenParks Clinic of Oriental Medicine came to discuss acupuncture and medicinal herbs as alternative health solutions. fruit leather (when I got home) March 7, 2004, Sunday (Day 66) I snacked all day today, not really eating a meal. fruit leathers olives bell pepper crackers banana chips apple rings cinnamon walnut caramels water decaf iced tea March 8, 2004, Monday (Day 67) banana 8 oz water Made fruit leathers with the dehydrator today. fruit leather 1 c. banana chips 1/4 c. trail mix glass of decaf iced tea orange salad: romaine, radishes, celery, green olives, coconut, sunflower seeds, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing Bell Pepper Crackers (snack baggie full) glass of decaf iced tea Cinnamon Walnut Caramels fruit leather glass of decaf iced tea Created a new recipe today - Chocolate Banana Crunch Ice Cream. Yum! March 9, 2004, Tuesday (Day 68) fruit leather 1 bell pepper cracker 4 oz water banana orange 4 bell pepper crackers 1 c. banana chips glass of decaf iced tea Salad: romaine, carrots, celery, sprouts, radishes, green pepper, pepper, green olives, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing Snacked all evening: carrots fruit leather glass of decaf iced tea banana bell pepper crackers 3 olives water Chocolate Banana Crunch Ice Cream March 10, 2004, Wednesday (Day 69) glass of decaf iced tea strawberry apple fruit leather 5 bell pepper crackers Lunch at Brioso Brazil (my favorite salad bar!) 2 trips to the salad bar - large plates of salad: romaine, mixed leafy greens, red/green/yellow bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, jumbo green olives, black olives, cashews (roasted/salted, not raw), sunflower seeds (roasted/salted, not raw), raisins, cracked pepper, fat-free blueberry poppyseed dressing (unlikely it's raw, but it's damn good!) 16 oz water orange glass of decaf iced tea strawberry apple fruit leather apple kiwi fruit leather 1 olive glass of decaf iced tea 1/4 c. cinnamon walnut caramels Created a new recipe - Onion Rings. March 11, 2004, Thursday (Day 70) glass of decaf iced tea (I've been craving my iced tea in the mornings, when I should be drinking water) banana strawberry apple fruit leather orange 4 oz water salad: romaine, leafy greens, radishes, celery, cherry tomatoes, sunflower seeds, coconut, raisins, pepper, onion rings 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea 1/4 c. cinnamon walnut caramels strawberry apple fruit leather 1/2 Butternut Squash Cookie (it's ok, but nothing to write home about) Went to a fellow raw foodist's house for dinner tonight. We had zucchini spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, marinated mushrooms and sun-dried olives. Fantastic!! Then, my favorite part, was that he let us sample all kinds of raw things, like young Thai coconut (made a wonderful "milk shake" for us), raw carob powder (the carob powder I had bought was toasted), dates that tasted like what dates should taste like (the ones we recently got had a hard leathery skin and weren't like these at all!), hemp nut butter, and sesame tahini. I brought Butter Nut Squash Cookies for desert, but I don't really like how they turned out. Sorta like pumpkin pie taste, but too chewy for a cookie. Might try to dehydrate the cookies longer, and it seems like it needs a little dollop of almond butter or something to smooth out the strong taste. Zucchini Spaghetti Spaghetti Sauce Marinated Mushrooms Sun-dried olives 12 oz water Milkshake (young Thai coconut, coconut milk, almond milk, frozen banana, carob powder, maple syrup) 2 dates 1 Butter Nut Squash Cookie orange March 12, 2004, Friday (Day 71) banana 6 oz water strawberry apple fruit leather Lunch at Brioso Brazil with Boni and fellow raw foodist, for her birthday. 3 trips to the Salad bar: romaine, leafy greens, green pepper, yellow pepper, red pepper, cherry tomatoes, green olives, cracked pepper, a LOT of cashews (roasted, not raw) and sunflower seeds and raisins, fat-free blueberry poppy seed dressing 16 oz water I'm really hungry lately it seems --- a lot of it is in my mind I think. Going through a transition of feeling "hungry" all the time, can't get satisfied. At the salad bar, I way overate. Brioso's salad bar is like heaven to me, the cashews my toughest weakness. I love cashews, and something about them on top of my blueberry poppyseed salad with raisins and veggies, yum!!! Anyway, overdid it and paid for it immediately. Two trips would have been just perfect, but 3 put me over the edge, and I accepted the punishment for my glutony. Tight stomach, guilt, feeling overweight and just as bad had I overeaten on a hamburger and french fries. For me, it doesn't matter if I'm eating healthier than I used to, moderation is still a key to happiness and health. Hopefully I'm learning my lessons. Snacked most of the evening - still overeating today, even after Brioso: 1/4 c. raisins 2 glasses of decaf iced tea 2 c. chocolate banana crunch ice cream 2 coconut macaroons March 13, 2004, Saturday (Day 72) glass of decaf iced tea banana strawberry apple fruit leather Salad: romaine, leafy greens, spinach, broccoli and carrot strings, raisins, cherry tomatoes sunflower seeds, radishes, celery, carrots, 1 Tbl. low-fat Italian dressing, pepper glass of decaf iced tea Snacked all afternoon and evening: 2 coconut macaroons 1 strawberry coconut macaroon 6 olives 1/4 c. raisins orange apple 1 Tbl peanut butter (NOT raw) banana 2 glasses of decaf iced tea 2 c. in-shell pecans I had a hard time today/tonight - craving bad foods, trying not to go all the way - long story short --- wanting to keep the focus on me and not the other person - I was around someone who wanted to cheat and eat bad, processed, store-bought, man-made crap food - of course I wanted to, the cravings haven't totally gone away, but the desire to live a happy and healthy life was stronger - I didn't eat the freezer-section appetizers that were purchased, but did eat the 1 Tbl peanut butter (which is supposed to be only for the bird pudding I make for our Eastern Bluebird friends out back). Felt guilty about the peanut butter, but not nearly as much as I would have had I eaten those fried snacks. Major accomplishment. I said no. Good for me. This is my life now. Next time I won't eat peanut butter either. I'll eat an apple. March 14, 2004, Sunday (Day 73) banana strawberry apple fruit leather glass of decaf iced tea salad: romaine, leafy greens, radishes, carrots, celery, spinach, cherry tomatoes, raisins, carrots, sunflower seeds, cracked pepper, 1 Tbl. low-fat Italian dressing bell pepper crackers 8 oz water glass of decaf iced tea Went to the Ozark Natural Foods Annual Owner's meeting today. Had the best time. Viktoras Kulvinskas, a leader in the raw food movement from more than 30 years ago, was there, and I was introduced to him, as the person who has the From SAD to RAW website. He was so complimentary and kind to me. He said he was in the middle of writing me a letter about me/my site. What an honor! I can't wait to receive it. After meeting a few other people, and making a quick run-through the vendor fair, I sat down to help at the Raw Ozarks booth. We (Raw Ozarks) were there in our first public arena, to spread the word about raw foodism and our community group. It was a huge hit, we increased our mailing list by 40% by just sharing fliers and talking to people about my (our) success with the Raw Food lifestyle. There were several people there, (Pam and Darrell I remember specifically), who really seemed to appreciate our presence and information; and seemed surprised to hear of a group such as ours being in existence. Pam and Darrell, if you're reading this, I personally invite you to come to our next potluck on May 6th, please be our guest and don't bring anything, just yourselves! Email me for more information, directions, etc. After an hour or so at the booth, Viktoras gave a talk on Youthing, so Boni and I went in to hear that; which was a preview to the workshop we're going to on April 2-3. It was a great talk and I got a lot out of it. One thing I really want to do is to start soaking my nuts. Might not do it right away, but definitely going to work toward it. I moved from roasted nuts to raw nuts, so now I'll transition to soaked raw nuts. He even mentioned dehydrating them after soaking, which will put the crisp back into them. Yum! 16 oz water banana orange strawberry apple fruit leather After Viktoras' talk, Boni and I spent the next hour and a half at the Raw Ozarks booth, while the business meeting was going on. We didn't really have a desire to go to the business meeting, but decided to stay and have dinner with our fellow raw friends. We signed up several more people while the business meeting was going on. Viktoras and members of our Raw Ozarks group sat down and had dinner after the meeting was over. It was nice to have Viktoras join our table for dinner and he shared his home-made sea vegetables and hummus with us. Interesting, not something I could eat yet on a regular basis, but at least I tried it. (I didn't like seafood when I ate my normal cooked diet, so sea vegetables, nori rolls, etc. aren't something I think I'll take to very easily.) There were bags of Kettle chips in every variety on each dinner table, and of course, we didn't eat any, but it seemed funny to be sitting at a table of all Raw foodists, AND at a meeting with fellow Natural Foods shoppers, and have chips on the table. Ironic to me, I guess. Salad (at ONF meeting): romaine, leafy greens, spinach, some kind of spicy sesame vinaigrette dressing 16 oz water 1 c. in-shell pecans 1 strawberry coconut macaroon 1/4 c. raisins March 15, 2004, Monday (Day 74) 8 oz water apple kiwi fruit leather banana orange salad: romaine, leafy greens, cherry tomatoes, sunflower seeds, raisins, celery, radishes, carrots, cracked pepper, 1 Tbl. low-fat Italian dressing For dinner, I was craving vegetable broth for some reason. So I made a very yummy vegetable soup - boiled a Vegan bouillon cube with frozen peas, frozen corn, green pepper, red pepper, green onion and cracked pepper. Delish! bowl of vegetable soup (boiled) 8 oz water bell pepper crackers 2 orange coconut macaroons orange Went to the doctor to weigh-in today. SO excited to be able to report this: total weight loss 38 pounds! I now weigh 272 pounds. WOW!!!! The weight is falling off. That's a pound every other day since I started!!! That's 9 pounds in two weeks!!! I have now lost 12% of my total body weight (started at 310 pounds). I'm so happy!!! This is the most successful weight loss I've ever had, especially in this amount of time, and felt GOOD about what I was doing. Even though I'm not "perfect," I'm doing a great thing for me and my body and I can say I'm empowered to keep going and not ever go back to living the way I was before! Yea, me! Weight - 272 lbs - total weight loss 38 pounds March 16, 2004, Tuesday (Day 75) strawberry apple fruit leather banana 8 oz water 4 oz water orange Re-boiled vegetable soup and added 1/2 zucchini sliced through the Spiral Slicer on "radish garnish" - that made the soup even more fantastic! bowl of vegetable soup (boiled water/Vegan bouillon cube, frozen peas, frozen corn, zucchini, green pepper, green onion, celery, carrots) 8 oz water bell pepper crackers 2 orange coconut macaroons bite of raw chocolate brownie Boni's boss gave her tickets to see Gillian Welch tonight at Dave's on Dickson in Fayetteville, and he also gave her money for us to go out to dinner. How sweet!!! We never get to go out like that, so what a treat that was! We decided to go to dinner at Ozark Natural Foods, since I needed to pick up some things anyway, and we knew they'd have some good choices. Salad at Ozark Natural Foods: romaine, spinach, leafy greens, carrots, cucumbers, black olives, cracked pepper, green pepper, yummy honey mustard dressing, 1 Tbl hummus 4 oz water 32 oz water (at concert) After the concert, I was starving, so I dug into the cashews I'd bought for my neighbor (sorry Anita!). I got myself too hungry, by not eating enough today/tonight and overate the nuts. 1 c. raw cashews (in the car) 1 c. raw cashews (at home) They were good, but still overate them. Then felt full and wished I hadn't done that. Oh well, this is my journey, sometimes I'll stumble. Decided to start backing off of my Vioxx medication again --- I had tried back in January when I first went raw, but I hadn't lost very much weight, so the pressure was still on my knee. I haven't lost all the weight I need to lose, but I've lost 30% of my desired weight loss, so I thought it would be ok to start taking my Vioxx every other day instead of every day and see how it goes. March 17, 2004, Wednesday (Day 76) 8 oz water banana strawberry apple fruit leather 4 oz water orange bowl of vegetable soup (boiled water/Vegan bouillon cube, frozen peas, frozen corn, zucchini, green pepper, green onion, celery, carrots) 8 oz water 2 orange coconut macaroons 2 bowls of vegetable soup (boiled water/Vegan bouillon cube, frozen peas, frozen corn, zucchini, green pepper, green onion, celery, carrots) Not a very raw day....cooked, but still healthy. Wasn't in the mood to make a salad for lunch today, then cleaned the kitchen and all of my raw appliances (spiral slicer, dehydrator, food processor), which took me hours, by the time I was done, I wanted something easy, not that chopping a salad is difficult! No excuse really --- I mean I chopped all of the stuff up for the soup, so I guess to be honest, I just wanted the soup. Hell, though, cracks me up the way my thinking has changed --- splurging is Vegan vegetable broth, haha. Now, that's progress! March 18, 2004, Thursday (Day 77) 10 oz water banana orange salad: romaine, leafy greens, celery, raisins, carrots, radishes, sunflower seeds, 1 Tbl lowfat Italian dressing 8 oz water I ate my lunch while sitting on the stoop of my office back door, enjoying the absolutely beautiful day outside. I was peacefully eating my lunch, trying to remember to chew my food until it was liquid (well almost liquid, can't quite do that yet, nor with any consistency on a meal-to-meal basis). Then all of a sudden, I smelled a horrid, familiar smell. Ugh, I smelled cigarette smoke. What a way to ruin a good, healthy meal. I stood up and looked on the other side of my door, which had been blocking my view of the invader. I saw a young, thin girl from the insurance agency next door, hurriedly puffing on her cancer stick. I promptly gave her a frowled expression and stepped back into my office, closing the door with a loud slam - trying to make the statement that I was disgusted that my lunch had to be ended early by her disgusting habit (probably should share here that I used to be a habitual smoker, and now I'm highly sensitive to it, having quit in October 2001 --- at that time, I had no tolerance for people NOT allowing me to smoke, now I have no tolerance for smokers. how ironic) Fuji apple glass of decaf iced tea (will point out, since I've recently been questioned on this --- this is NON-sweetened, naturally decaffeinated iced tea, with no additives - hey, I love my iced tea, and as long as it's decaf and unsweetened, I'm gonna drink it, til I don't want it anymore) bowl of Vegan vegetable soup (Vegan bouillon cube and cut up veggies, see entries above for ingredients) glass of decaf iced tea 1 c. cashews (not soaked, but workin' on it) 1 apple ring (dehydrated apple) My non-Raw-but-trying neighbor came over tonight to use my food processor and dehydrator to make a bunch of coconut macaroons, in all variations. So I sampled each of her recipes before we put them in the dehydrator. We made Butter Rum Coconut Macaroons, Orange Coconut Macaroons, Lemon Coconut Macaroons, and Chocolate Coconut Macaroons. Very good! March 19, 2004, Friday (Day 78) banana 12 oz water orange salad: romaine, leafy greens, radishes, carrots, cherry tomatoes, celery, sunflower seeds, raisins, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing apple banana fruit leather orange salad: romaine, leafy greens, sunflower sprouts, radish sprouts, carrots, cherry tomatoes, celery, sunflower seeds, raisins, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing Major shift today for me. I soaked every single nut in my kitchen - brazil nuts, sunflower seeds, walnuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds (pepitas) and almonds. Then I dehydrated them to put the crisp back into them. I did this for two reasons: 1.) Viktoras talked at the ONF meeting last week about the importance of soaking your nuts, and if you want them to be crispy again, just dehydrate them (how awesome AND it works!!!), and 2.) I've been getting many emails from people who are offering compliments and support, but also advice on my eating nuts, especially those that haven't been soaked. Though I'm doing this for me, and doing it my way, I still agree that soaking my nuts will help me with oil and fat intake. 1 Tbl almond butter 1/4 c. raisins March 20, 2004, Saturday (Day 79) banana 8 oz water orange banana glass of decaf iced tea Tested the dehydrated soaked nuts to see if they were done. Yum, so glad they turned out crispy and as good if not better than before they were soaked. Created another recipe today. Potato Chips. Ah the important vegetable. I am so excited how these turned out. The last batch I tried, were too thick, but this time got it right. Now to just get all of the seasonings down, so I can have em be like Lays. We were having a fellow raw foodist over for dinner tonight - would be my first raw dinner that I'd made. I mean for someone other than Boni and me, and other than the potlucks. Ok, so I've made dinner raw before, but this was the first official, "Come over for dinner," thing where I'd make everything raw for a guest. It was pretty good, and of course looked beautiful, as all raw gourmet food does. (During the day, as I prepared the meal, I sampled all of these recipes, and then had them for dinner/dessert.) - Quinoa Tabouleh (didn't have Burdock or Mint, changed ingredients to Cilantro - noticed the recipe called for WAY too much olive oil. I'd heard Juliano gets a little crazy with the ingredients, but jeez, it was like floating in oil.) - Salad with fresh sunflower sprouts (that Boni grew in soil) - "Raw House Dressing" (by Juliano) - Veggies cut up: red bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, carrots, cucumber, celery - Potato Chips, Tortillraw chips - Sunny Spread (from "Eating without Heating") - Coconut Macaroons - Chocolate Banana Crunch Ice Cream (it didn't come out the way it normally does, it was goopy tonight) I ate some of everything above, but the salad. Didn't care too much for the tabouleh, but I LOVED the Sunny Spread. Ate too much of that. honey date (from Nature's First Law that James brought over for me to try. I had so loved the ones he had the last time we were at his house, but didn't care for these as much.) 3 glasses of decaf iced tea March 21, 2004, Sunday (Day 80) Redmond Milkshake Started the day off with a Redmond Milkshake (James had brought us over 3 young Thai coconuts last night). I didn't have the almond milk, and since our blender broke, I made it in a food processor, not quite as good as his normally is. Will try again tomorrow. 2 coconut macaroons glass of decaf iced tea Went for a brisk mile walk around Windsor Dam with my neighbor and my dogs. Wore shorts for the first time this year - excited to be able to fit into shorts again. Salad: romaine, spinach, leafy greens, sunflower sprouts, radish sprouts, carrots, celery, bell pepper, tomatoes, sunflower seeds, raisins, cracked pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea Boni made that salad for me, and in her good-hearted attempt to make me eat more greens than "chewies," she over did the greens. I was choking down the spinach and the sprouts, and didn't enjoy the salad much at all. I ate it, but I didn't like it. She knows I have a hard time getting my greens, but still, I have to enjoy my salads, or I'm not going to eat them. I basically held my nose and chomped my way through it, adding more raisins and sunflower seeds whenever it got unbearable. I was kinda mad at her (not really) for making me a salad that was "so healthy" that I couldn't stand it. Snacked the rest of the day on raisins, nuts, almond butter, cut up veggies, and sunny spread. I'm not sure why, but I've been eating like crazy the last few days, can't stop snacking. Might be the fact that I'm dehydrating something 24 hours a day. Prolly ought to watch that. March 22, 2004, Monday (Day 81) 2 bananas 11 oz water orange glass of decaf iced tea apple banana fruit leather 1 Tbl. almond butter on celery sticks 1/4 c. raisins glass of decaf iced tea 1/2 c. Sunny Spread (my version), baby carrots, celery, red and yellow bell pepper 1 c. potato chips orange Redmond Milkshake (this milkshake is to die for, and it's going to be the death of me, cause I want it all the time, and need to NOT make it all the time!) 2 glasses of decaf iced tea 2 olives apple with 1 Tbl amond butter Over ate on almond butter, sunny spread, nuts, raisins, olives, anything I could find in the fridge. Feel like I'm PMSing, but that may be just an excuse. Have to get back on my salads at lunch. My pates have been such a quick and easy snack to grab and make a meal out of, but all they're giving me is nuts and flavor. I need my greens. I actually miss my greens. I haven't been feeling very "good" this week, and that's probably why. The salads give me a balance that nothing else can. I think I might need to hit another "bottom," and work my way back into focus again. March 23, 2004, Tuesday (Day 82) 11 oz water banana 3 strawberries banana Went to Brioso Brazil for lunch today, my FAVORITE!!! Salad: romaine, leafy greens, red, green and yellow bell pepper, carrots, celery, olives, raisins, cashews (roasted, not raw), sunflower seeds (roasted, not raw), fat-free Blueberry Poppyseed dressing, cracked pepper Made 2 trips to the salad bar, wanted to make a third trip, but remembered how stuffed and sick I felt last time I went to Brioso and made three trips. It's a good thing I only made 2 trips, cause I was actually overfull as it was. Guess that's a good sign, and what's more, I actually made the decision NOT to go back for a 3rd trip, even though I wanted to. I let my body tell me I had had enough, instead of my mind or my emotions. Redmond Milkshake Snacked all night on the two versions of Sunny Spread, veggies, bell pepper crackers, potato chips, olives, raisins, brazil nuts, almond butter, strawberries. Still eating like there's no tomorrow. I made some recipes tonight cause tomorrow's Boni's birthday. I made Guacamole, from Juliano's RAW: The Uncook Book, Sunflower Refried Beans, Rawlsa, and chopped up a relish plate of green onions, cherry tomatoes and red onions. Will let you know how it all comes out tomorrow, when I put it together with corn tortillraw chips to make Rawchos. March 24, 2004, Wednesday (Day 83) 5 oz water orange apple banana fruit leather banana banana 1/2 c. Sunny Spread (both versions), carrots, celery 1 Tbl almond butter with celery glass of decaf iced tea That was my lunch, not a very good lunch for me. When will I start making salads again? It's like the old habits of, "well it's there, it's easy, it takes less time," come back. Even though the recipes and foods are raw, doesn't mean I can solely eat those things. I still haven't overcome the issues of eating what tastes best, instead of eating what's best for my body. glass of decaf iced tea celery with 1/4 c. Sunny Spread (my version) Today's Boni's birthday, and her favorite SAD meal was Nachos. So I decided to create a replication in Raw. My newest recipe was born....Rawchos. It was not only delicious, but beautiful and couldn't have made her happier. I'm having so much fun playing in the kitchen and creating wonderful new recipes for us to try (and of course to share on the website). 1 plate of Rawchos (my actual dinner is shown on the Rawchos recipe page) glass of decaf iced tea I tried to make Chocolate Covered Strawberries for dessert, but it didn't come out. I used a recipe from Rhio, called Carob (Un-Chocolate) Sauce, and to be honest, I thought it was awful. I tried to fix it to make it palatable, but nothing worked. I'm thinking Tahini in dessert isn't a good combo, but maybe my Tahini just wasn't good. Then again, I'm using this darker raw honey, and I think it takes awful, too. Maybe I'll try it again with a fresh jar of Tahini and my other, lighter honey. (Anyway, I dipped the strawberries in the sauce, and laid them out on a small decorative plate, put them in the freezer to harden and tried them a few hours later. Yuck! STILL didn't taste good, so I threw them in the food processor, adding some frozen bananas, coconut, filtered water and some more random ingredients, and made a smoothie. It was ok, but nothing to write home about. Definitely going to rethink using Tahini and get the kind of honey I know I like.) 1/2 glass of Strawberry Banana Chocolate Smoothie glass of decaf iced tea March 25, 2004, Thursday (Day 84) 6 oz water banana banana strawberry apple fruit leather orange glass of decaf iced tea Pink Lady apple (first one I've ever had, pretty good, very crisp, not quite as sweet as I like apples - Fujis are my fav) Same ole lunch that I've had all week. Too lazy to make a salad, enjoying the pates to eat anything else. 1/2 c. Sunny Spread (both versions), celery, carrots, corn tortillraw chips, tomato basil crackers (basically, the same as the bell pepper crackers, but used cherry tomatoes and basil as the main ingredient) 1/2 c. guacamole 2 Tbl salsa Then, although I didn't "need" it, I made a banana chocolate coconut milkshake (not the Redmond Milkshake, cause I was out of young Thai coconut, just had shredded unsweetened coconut, and didn't add almond butter to it.) I drank it, and of course it was good, but I'm really realizing that I'm eating to eat, and not to nourish. Have to get back on track. Keep saying that, so it's making me look flaky, but have to be honest, and have to keep trying. Wish I could report that my realization at lunch that I'm not eating what my body needs resulted in a healthy, salad for dinner, but I can't. Wanted the Rawchos again. And then, of course later, wanted something sweet, so I made another shake. Bad girl. Nah, not bad, just not doing what's good for me. Promise to myself, tomorrow is another day and I can choose another way - cheesy but true. Boni got a gift certificate for her birthday to Wal-Mart, so she decided to put it toward a blender for us, since ours broke the week we started Raw and we hadn't replaced it. We got a $30 GE 450 watt blender, with low/high only options. I like it better than the one we had previously with about 10 different settings. I like things simple - on/off, high/low. Anyway, I'm excited cause in a relatively short period of time we've been able to get everything we need for raw cookin'....except a juicer, which we're workin' on. 1 plate of Rawchos, but used potato chips as the base Chocolate banana coconut shake (made in our new blender) 1 Tbl almond butter, celery Ugh, feeling fat today, not losing any weight this week. Gee I wonder why - could it be all the pates and almond butter and crap I'm eating! Ok, not true crap, not SAD crap, but still "everything in moderation!" I'm recommitting myself to my raw journey. A healthy raw journey. March 26, 2004, Friday (Day 85) 6 oz water banana orange dehydrated apple rings (equal to one apple) glass of decaf iced tea working my butt off at work today, no time for lunch Banana chocolate milkshake (when I got home) glass of decaf iced tea Went to our raw friend's house tonight (James) and met with him and Holly, another raw friend for dinner. Boni decided to buy Holly's Samson 6-in-1 juicer, so she brought it over it to James' house. That does it, we have all of the "raw appliances" we need now. Won't have to do any substituting for those anymore. I know Boni's not gonna let me use it much, cause she's getting it primarily for juicing greens, which I can't stand, yet.....Maybe she'll let me have an orange or apple juice out of it every-so-often <grin>. I think it was Holly who mentioned that my hair is getting really red. It's true. It's not only getting more red, but shinier too. If you look at my Day 1 pictures, and then the most recent ones, it's like I had a straw wig on before, and now I have sheen to it. I haven't cut my hair in about 5 months or so, so it's not even like I've had the dead ends wacked off. I'm so happy to see this glow developing in my face and in my hair. My eyes too, are brighter and have life in them again. Hummus Crab Delight Super Craquers by Frederic Patenaude Potato Chips Sunflower Refried Beans 8 oz water 1 Medjool date March 27, 2004, Saturday (Day 86) glass of fresh-squeezed apple juice (from the Samson) Well it took about 15 apples and quite a lot of time, but I finally got my very first, personally-juiced, apple juice. It tasted JUST like the kind I used to buy at Sun Harvest in those huge glass jars. It was surprisingly delicious, with not one thing added. The juicer made a huge mess, but I suppose it was worth it considering my first try. This is really gonna be Boni's juicer, cause she's the one who likes all the green leafy drinks --- I don't (yet anyway, can't say I never will, but right now I'm a fruit juice kinda girl.) I spent the whole day "uncooking" for Boni's birthday dinner celebration - we had over our neighbors, who are not raw, but enjoy my raw cookin'. Before dinner, the wife portion of the neighbors (that sounds funny) and I went to one of my friend's land to see everything that had started to bloom. We probably walked about 1/4 of a mile or so, so not really exercise, but man did it feel good to be outside again. It seems like I'm not getting any exercise --- it doesn't seem like I'm not - I'm not. I've been so preoccupied and busy trying new recipes, updating the website, trying to do too much, that I'm not making time to play and be physically active. Something I noticed today was that my gold ring - the only ring I wear on my hand - is starting to be loose, too loose to keep wearing for too much longer, in fact. It used to be so tight it cut into my finger; in fact there's a permanent indention where the ring was squeezed on my finger. Now, it slips around and I keep noticing it and worrying I'm gonna lose it. I should get it sized, but then, just like buying new clothes, I'll have to go have it resized again in another 3 or 4 months, and that's not cheap! I don't wanna stop wearing it though, as it's one I share with my partner. I might have to though. Guess that's not the worse thing in the world to be complaining about <grin>. banana glass of decaf iced tea Dinner with Boni and neighbors: Crab Delight with romaine lettuce leaves as wraps Marinated Portobello mushrooms Sunny Spread (my version) Homemade applesauce (made from juicer this morning) Salad (romaine, leafy greens, spinach, cherry tomatoes, red and yellow bell pepper) Cut up veggies (carrots, celery, cucumber) glass of decaf iced tea Dessert: Unchocolate cake with strawberries, chocolate icing and chocolate ice cream March 28, 2004, Sunday (Day 87) Smoothie: 2 oranges, 1 apple, 2 bananas, maple syrup, ice, water Salad: romaine, leafy greens, radishes, celery, carrots, corn off the cob, cherry tomatoes, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing Snacked all day long. Couldn't get enough to eat. I was munching, and snacking, and just kept going back to the fridge and pantry. Sunny spread Almond butter Orange Celery, carrots Olives Strawberries Grapes Cashews, Walnuts, and Almonds (raw, soaked, dehydrated) decaf iced tea Redmond Milkshake March 29, 2004, Monday (Day 88) banana orange 8 oz water banana Fuji apple glass of decaf iced tea Salad with a little Sunny Spread and Crab Delight: romaine, leafy greens, cherry tomatoes, olives, celery, carrots, 1 Tbl. low-fat Italian dressing Chocolate milkshake with some unchocolate cake mixed in Ugh, I didn't need that milkshake, I go through this thing when I come home from work for lunch. It's like I think I need to eat a whole bunch, cause I'll be back at work and not be able to eat. Which is so not true. I can eat at work just as easily as at home. Not sure why I do that. Regardless, I felt like crap after I ate/drank it. Snacked all evening - anymore, it seems I'm not really eating meals after work - I just sorta snack - haven't figured out if that's good or bad.... Sunny Spread Crab Delight in romaine lettuce wraps with some Marinated Mushrooms Corn on the cob Almond butter Celery, carrots, olives Redmond Milkshake Weird thing, starting to feel mucousy in my throat --- I'm denying that it's from allergies, but Boni says it sounds like it is. I keep thinking it's because I'm overeating my nut pates and all the nut recipes I make. Could be. I mean I know I feel better in general when I eat more salads, and less pates and spreads. March 30, 2004, Tuesday (Day 89) 10 oz water banana glass of decaf iced tea orange banana Today at work, a colleague who flies in every other week or so from out of town, asked if I got new glasses. I said, no, I've lost weight and my face is changing shape. It makes it look like I have new glasses (it really does too!). He seemed surprised that I really hadn't gotten new glasses (although in my experience, most men don't notice things like women losing weight). Regardless, I was thrilled that I looked different enough for people to notice, soon it will be unmistakable that it's from weight loss and not just a new look. salad: romaine, leafy greens, spinach, cherry tomatoes, celery, carrots, olives, radishes, yellow bell pepper, sunflower seeds, raisins, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing 3 Mexi-Chips (Created this new recipe this past weekend) glass of decaf iced tea 3 Coconut Macaroons 3 Banana Nut Crackers 3 radishes 3 Banana Nut Crackers 2 Tbl Almond Butter, celery 1 Tbl cashews (soaked, dehydrated) glass of decaf iced tea Found out today that the Marantha's Raw Almond butter isn't technically raw, because of they way it's heated, or something like that. That's a bummer, cause in a pinch, that's the quickest easiest butter to buy around here. Guess we'll have to go back to our friend who buys wholesale online and get a bunch that way. Should have known raw butters that aren't refrigerated couldn't possibly be truly raw. March 31, 2004, Wednesday (Day 90) 6 oz water 4 Banana Nut Crackers banana glass of decaf iced tea orange Fuji apple Snacked all evening: Sunny spread Almond Butter Celery, carrots Strawberries Olives Banana Nut Crackers Orange Well, here it is. I did it - 90 days on my raw journey. 3 months. 12 weeks. However you wanna look at it, I did it; I'm doin' it! Went to weigh in this morning at the doctor's office. Drum roll.............total weight loss 41 pounds, current weight is now 269 pounds. In three months!!! This is fantastic. AND I'm doing it the right way. Wow, just think, in three more months, I'll be reporting another successful weigh-in. I can't imagine what I'll look and feel like then. What will I weigh? I've tried to figure it out, but then remember I need not obsess over the number; this is a journey to my ideal body weight and shape; not my journey to a number. Hard to remember sometimes though, cause I have that number there --- it's in my head. Ok, I'll say it. I wanna weigh 170, that's 5 pounds more than I weighed in High School, when I was a jazz dancer (a SunDancer is what we were called). That's always been my measuring point - my whole life. What did I weigh when I danced, what did I look like when I was on drill team, what could I wear when I was in high school. Blah blah blah. Not a good thing to remind myself of, but it's also a very good reinforcement, because I did like how my body looked and felt then --- minus the alcohol (hey you know how high school can be)...Anyway, I keep that picture in my mind and constantly remind myself that I can be that beautiful person again (but now I'll be it on the INSIDE too). Weight - 269 lbs - total weight loss 41 pounds  April 1, 2004, Thursday (Day 91) banana apple orange banana glass of decaf iced tea Started my period today, thank God. I had been eating like a cow, it seemed. Every day felt like the starting over of an all-day feast, snacking every chance I got. Again, never ceases to amaze me, how I eat and eat and eat and gain weight and am cranky, and then, BOOM, I start my period and life's back to normal again, the weight coming off again like it has been. I know my moods have gotten better on raw, and my periods aren't as heavy, but the cravings and snacking constantly haven't subsided. At least my snacking is still on Raw foods. You know what else is strange, I started several weeks early this time. Maybe my body's going through a time of trying to figure out how it's going to have periods. I've heard Raw changes everything in that regard, so it'll be interesting to see where it finally settles at. Salad: romaine, leafy greens, spinach, radishes, carrots, celery, yellow pepper, sunflower seeds, raisins, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea Then for dinner had the same thing. Salad: romaine, leafy greens, spinach, radishes, carrots, celery, yellow pepper, sunflower seeds, raisins, pepper, 1 Tbl low-fat Italian dressing glass of decaf iced tea Redmond Milkshake 2Tbl almond butter Today, I set up (with the major help of James, a fellow Raw foodist), an email mailing list on my site. I set it up as an easy to use (both for the subscriber and for me) communication tool. I had been manually entering in each email address and contact name each time I corresponded with someone interested in the raw food lifestyle or sending me positive feedback, but unfortunately I got swamped and couldn't quite keep up, which is such a great thing, I think. It shows how important the sharing of raw food information is becoming! Anyway, as people subscribed, they received a step-by-step pictorial demonstration of my Coconut Macaroons recipe. I've already received such positive feedback from it, and it seems people really appreciated me doing this. I know I am a visual person and prefer visual instructions over written ones. I just want to take a moment to thank every single person who has taken time to write me, offering support, thanks, praise, and asking questions. I write every single person back, because I'm so amazed at the interest people have and willingness to say such wonderful things to me about my journey. I hope I'll ALWAYS be able to respond to every one of the emails I get. I think it's so important to connect on a personal level, when internet communication can so often be impersonal. April 2, 2004, Friday (Day 92) glass of decaf iced tea orange banana orange celery with 1 Tbl almond butter 1/2 salad (running late today, trying to work, get my dog to the vet and get out of town to a Raw lecture) glass of decaf iced tea banana Went to Nibbles in Fayetteville tonight for a Raw lecture by Viktoras Kulvinskas, leader in the Raw Food Movement. Raw Ozarks, the raw food community group in Northwest Arkansas, that I belong to, was hosting the food for the event, sort of an array of snack foods for people who'd never tried Raw before to sample. I think the food was as much of a hit as Viktoras was. I brought corn tortillraw chips, rawlsa, and banana nut crackers. Sweden Creek Farms donated Baby Shitake Mushrooms, and one of their friends marinated them and created a beautiful mushroom salad. Ozark Natural Foods donated the veggies for the event, all organic, which is NOT cheap. Holly brought Sunny Spread, Robin brought Carob Fudge, and there were a few other things out there, but I can't think now. It was quite a spread and people were gobbling it all up. It is such a warm feeling to see non-Raw-foodists eating and absolutely enjoying Raw gourmet foods, and learning for the first time what amazing things can come from Raw food. I think the food plus Viktoras's talk made a lot of changes in people's minds and their future lifestyle changes. 4 marinated Baby Shitake Mushrooms 1 broccoli floret Sunny Spread with zucchini 16 oz water I got to meet Denise, a Raw foodist who has a journal on this website. That is such a neat thing, to get to meet face-to-face with someone you've been getting to know digitally. She's a wonderful person and I'm going to love getting to know her more at future raw events. It was a really nice event, but we were exhausted and ready to go home by the time it was over. April 3, 2004, Saturday (Day 93) |
